I shed a bunch of tears yesterday

I'm not going to lie.  Yesterday's announcement about schools hit me really hard.  Yes, I knew it was coming, and yes, I agree with it 100%, but the emotions about it all just became too much for me.  The reality that I am never again going to get to see so many of the students, this year's seniors, that I have come to care so deeply about over the last 3-1/2 years...that reality was etched in stone.  The reality that I am not going to get to work (or paid) for the rest of the school year was confirmed.  Those were tough to accept.

But it was NOTHING compared to the reality of what our senior students are going to miss out on.  There will be no Prom, and almost certainly no in-person graduation.  They will not get to gather as a group one last time, don caps & gowns, and hear the the audience cheer for their accomplishments and acknowledge how hard they have worked for the last twelve years.  NONE of that is going to get to happen to any of the students I love so much, and especially the one I love the most...mine.

I was grateful Catherine had to work yesterday afternoon.  Honestly, she handled the news well.  I couldn't get over the fact that I am never going to get to see my daughter put on her cap & gown.  Of all three of my kids, she is the one who has always worked the hardest and been the most successful.  Reality, she is the one who had the least natural talent for it as well, but she never let that get to her.  She would just work even harder when things got tough.  My heart breaks for what is being lost with this.

I am doing better today, but my heart is still heavy.  I know seniors everywhere, both high school and college, will have similar losses, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.  I know my sweet girl will still go on with her life and will accomplish what she is going to accomplish whether or not she gets to actually walk across that stage.  I know we are all safe and healthy, and Andrew is still employed, so we are far better off than most.  I know all of that, but I also know it is okay to be a little sad.