How we are doing today

I think today is kind of what our days are going to look like.  Catherine has had several mini-seizures during the course of the day.  I would guess that there were probably ten total.  As of right now, the only person who can bring her out of them is me.  Andrew tried doing the exact same things I do, but she doesn't respond to him.  Overall though, I would say that today is better than yesterday.  I'm tired, and definitely drained, but I am completely confident everything is going to be okay.  It will take time, maybe a LOT of time, but it will be okay.

We need some prayers for our sweet Catherine

Catherine has had a very long 24-hours, and therefore so have we.  In fact, just about this time last night, it was all beginning.  Catherine had a pseudoseizure.  Not realizing what it was, we called 911 and she was taken  by ambulance.  They stabilized her at the hospital and sent her home, but she had another one this morning when she got up.  We took her back to the e/r.  The doctor today informed us that there really is no need to bring her back each time.  There isn't much they can do.  We have a follow up appointment with our regular physician tomorrow, and we will begin counseling.

We had no idea that Catherine was holding in all of her emotions like this.  We had no idea she was struggling like this.  She has always been tough, and I mistakenly thought she was coping.  She had told us earlier in the week about some of her feelings regarding some situations, and we had decided then to begin the counselor search.  Sadly, with the mental health system in this country, sometimes that is easier said than done.

We would appreciate any prayers that could be lifted up on her behalf.  She is an amazing young lady, and this doesn't change that.  We hope that this can all be resolved quickly, but ultimately we will do whatever it takes!

My enthusiasm has been tampered

I received a response to my application yesterday.  Of course I know the man personally, but we are being very formal in this interaction.  I know that I am an ideal candidate.  However, although there is no written policy (I have read the contract), there is a precedent of internal transfer requests given precedence.  The HR director indicated I would receive consideration for any subsequent openings that may occur.  I sincerely appreciate that, but not being at the high school is not only not my first choice, but my familiarity with policies and procedures decreases, making me not as valuable as at the high school.  I would most likely take any secretarial job offered to me though to get my foot in the door at the district.  It would break my heart not to be able to be with Thomas at the high school for his last two years, but I also know that long term having a job working for the school district is a great fit for our family overall.  The good news is that I have faith it will work out as it is supposed to be!

My dream job

My dream job is to be the assistant secretary at our high school.  Actually, my dream job would be to be the attendance secretary, because she gets all summer off.  The assistant secretary is only off six weeks, but in some ways that is a good compromise.  A decent income but still a good amount of time off.  The person who is currently assistant secretary is already retired from a factory job and in a second career.  She had mentioned over a year ago that "one of these years" she would be retiring again.  I hoped I would be able to sub until that day came along.  When Covid-19 hit, I really thought this might be the year because she is older and her husband has underlying medical conditions.  I have scoured the employment page of our school district several times a day, but hadn't seen anything.

Our school district announced last week that a retirement bonus that was being offered.  There were certain requirements that had to be met in order to take advantage of the offer.  It made me scour the page even more frequently, but nothing had appeared.

Today our family did a work day at my grandmother's house.  My cousin and her daughter came out to help as well, as did one of my mother's best friends.  I was in the middle of going through a bag of stuff when Thomas and my cousin's daughter came running in to tell me that the assistant secretary had retired and the job was posted!  Andrew had received notification about it and had mentioned it to the kids.

When I got home this evening, I immediately pulled up the information, and after several hours of work I submitted it via email to the HR guy.  I will mail hard copies tomorrow.  I feel I am a desirable candidate not only from my skills, but because of my familiarity with the school and my relationships with the staff, students, and families.  I am SOOOOO excited.  This would literally be a dream come true if this could happen.

I told Andrew it is a win-win.  I would miss being in the classroom with the students.  If I don't get the job, I'll still be subbing which I love.  I won't be offended as long as I at least get an interview.  If anyone would like to send up some prayers or cross some fingers on my behalf I wouldn't mind.  This would be an awesome opportunity!

Going to the grocery

I have always hated going to the grocery.  Quick trip, stock-up trip, doesn't matter.  I don't like going to the grocery.  Any time I can avoid it, I absolutely do.

However, I am also incredibly cheap.  So, paying for a grocery delivery service is NOT going to happen.  Thomas and I are also very picky eaters, so having someone else "shop" for me and make substitutions is not really an option.  Therefore, I grocery shop.

In the beginning of the pandemic, it was not terrifying, but definitely unnerving and unsettling.  Not just being around people, but the rows upon rows of empty shelves.  If I wasn't careful, it could cause me to panic wondering if I'd be able to get the items I wanted when I wanted (or even NEEDED) them.  I'm not longer afraid of being around people, although I keep my distance (as an aside, I am also a good community member and wear a mask).  Going to the grocery is still stressful though.  Many items are still difficult to find, and options are limited.  And then there are the PRICES.  Ugh!!!  I used to be so proud to be able to find great deals, but those days are over!

Some emotion on this Father's Day

I think we all know this could be my father-in-law's last Father's Day.  His decline even since December has been so rapid.  I don't think we are talking weeks remaining, but it could be months, and an entire year may not happen.  I believe with certainty it is the last Father's Day he will understand.  Andrew made his father tear-up this morning as he wrote a very heart felt sentiment in his card.  Andrew has wonderful parents, and Andrew knows that.  He never fails to see the blessing that is his family.  Andrew was adopted at five-weeks-old, and has never concerned himself with his biological family.  He feels he more than hit the jackpot with his parents, and has no need to look for anything else.  The fragility of his father makes the day emotional.  And of course, I never have a day go by that I don't think of my own dad and miss him so very much.

I know there are also emotions for Andrew as a father.  We have amazing and fabulous kids, and we are so grateful for them.  We never forget how blessed we are to be their parents.  At the same time, the emotions of the choices made by our oldest is never gone.  We choose to focus on the blessings and good things though.

It's been quite a year, this 2020, hasn't it?  My goodness, just six months into it, and still six months to go.  I am so grateful for these days, even the ones with some emotion to them!

At the in-laws

We decided Father's Day weekend would be a great time to visit my in-laws.  I'll be honest, I am bored out of my ever-loving mind.  Andrew has taken his mother to do some shopping while the kids and I stay here to keep a bit of an eye on my father-in-law.  I sincerely wish my in-laws had moved closer to us years ago.  The problem these days is that their world has become so incredibly small.  I worry about them long-term, but there is no convincing them to come to us.  It's hard to see their lives become like this.

Another fun family day

Our family had another fun family day today.  We drove back to Cincinnati today and visited the Reds Hall of Fame.  Our membership expires at the end of the month and we wanted to get another visit in.  We were pretty much the only people there, and not much had changed since last summer...especially since there hasn't been a season this year!  Afterwards, we drove an hour north to another of our family's favorite restaurants.  They have the BEST cheese fries.  Sadly, the recipe had changed a bit and they weren't quite the same, but they were still pretty darn good.  For the kids and I, we each ate an order as our entree.  So filling!  As we left the museum, the kids mentioned to us that they had "prepared" for lunch by not eating anything all day.  Oh goodness!

I love these days that we get to spend with our kiddos.  We are so incredibly lucky!

And that seven years just flew by

Seven years ago I wrote about taking Catherine to a college camp.    Wow, those seven years really flew by!  As I was re-reading the post this morning, I couldn't help but think that we are almost there.  Oh my goodness, that really pulls at my heart strings.  I LOVE how much time Catherine and Thomas are spending together this summer.  I can't imagine what Thomas will do without her next year, but I am grateful that Thomas loves spending so much time with Andrew.  I am also grateful that I have recorded so many memories here!

I've felt stressed today

I'll be honest, today has been a stressful day.  My kids are driving me a little crazy.  If Catherine sighs or roll her eyes at me one more time I might just come unglued.

I've also just about had it with people who have suddenly become experts in every aspect of life.  I've been finding lately that the people who are the most ignorant and uninformed tend to have the loudest opinions.  I've also had it with people who are convinced they have all the answers and no one else can have anything worth mentioning.  I'm truly tired of people being mean.  Frankly, there is a serious lack of kindness happening in our world. 

It doesn't help that some people at church are being challenging.  Some insist we should've opened by now.  Some are not planning on returning any time soon.  It's an entirely new arena in which you just can't make everyone happy.

There are a few other areas of life that are causing me stress, but I'm not going to go into detail here.  I will though, tell about a song that made me cry today.  It is a song that includes my name, and I vividly remember it coming on the radio as we were driving to my mom the night that my dad died.  It isn't a song I hear very often, so hearing it today took me right back there.  It suddenly was that night again and it was all so vivid.  I couldn't help but shed some tears as I was driving.

I haven't slept well lately, and I'm hoping a good night of sleep will help to make tomorrow a better day!

It was a lovely family evening

Our evening together as a family was absolutely lovely.  We actually ate outdoors at the restaurant, which I don't usually enjoy but it was really nice this evening.  We were right along, but high above, the Ohio River.  We watched the boats and jet skis, and just enjoyed it all.  It was a little chilly by the end, but the weather was absolutely gorgeous.  We parked at the neighboring park and walked over, and then walked a little after dinner.  The kids were goofy and we laughed a great deal.  It was an absolutely wonderful evening together!

An incredible Sunday morning

Catherine had to be at work this morning at 9, which is actually the latest it has been in about six weeks.  Our overnight lows were in the 50's, so it was still pretty cool when I got up this morning.  In fact, I am wearing a sweatshirt.  I LOVE weather like this!  It is absolutely gorgeous.  There is not a cloud in the sky.  I am practically giddy.

Today I am painting some outdoor shutters, and then our family is heading to our favorite restaurant in the Cincinnati area.  There are two locations, and I wanted to go to the one on the river because the views will be awesome today!  We are finally taking the opportunity to celebrate our family.  I can't even put into words how grateful I am for the blessings in our lives!

G.G. would have really enjoyed today

Today was another work day at my grandmother's house.  Andrew, Thomas and two cousins were assigned the task of finishing the garage and demolishing cabinets in the workshop.  Four other cousins were assigned the task of going through things in various rooms of the house.  I was assigned the task of painting the pantry.  Generally speaking, we all work together well.  The pantry has a smallish window in it where I could look out in the front yard. Catherine was in charge of a five-year-old cousin and they were hanging out in the front yard.  Two other cousins were also spending time out there, and others were around at times.  I loved watching everyone interact.  It was a gorgeous day and it was just fun to watch.  I know that G.G. would've loved it as well.

Three months since school

It seems so hard to believe that our last day of school was three months ago today.  Even though we knew it was coming, none of us really understood how much life was about to change.  There have been some very hard things, but overall I am so grateful that I had our family to share this time.

School is supposed to begin again in 9-1/2 weeks.  I am cautiously optimistic that we will be allowed to return with some semblance of normal, but nothing has been determined or decided.  I would love to get back in the classroom again!

Trying to plan a trip

Our family has decided to plan a quick trip at the end of Ohio.  We had decided when we canceled our beach vacation that we would do something to support the Ohio economy.  It is proving to be harder than I had anticipated.  We have a three-day window at the end of July that we can make a trip.  It's even during the week which I thought would be easier, but it's proving to be challenging.  I am hesitant to do things that require being indoors because I wonder if they will be open.  I am hesitant to schedule too many things outdoors because that is tough on my health.  I don't want to be too far away, but too close doesn't work either according to the rest of my family.  I want to relax and not have a schedule, but I don't want to just be sitting around a room doing nothing.  We can do that at home for free!  I am beginning to feel defeated!

The students will return

The local university has announced that students will return this fall.  As much as I love our little town without the students, it is a huge relief.  The economy of this town would be absolutely decimated without the students.  I can't even imagine.  They will be back the middle of August and will pretty much be here all the way through Thanksgiving.  They will take finals at on-line remotely the week after Thanksgiving, and then won't be returning until sometime in January.  While I enjoy getting to have such a lovely and QUIET little town right now (even orientation is online) I am relieved they will be back in August!

Planning the band budget

Tonight is our annual band planning meeting.  It has been at my house for the last several years, but because my house isn't very large, it is being moved to the house of the current president who has a very large garage.  I have spent the last two days working on the budget.  I take my responsibilities as Treasurer very seriously, but this is ridiculous.  Do we have band camp?  Can we feed people?  Will there actually be a season?  One fundraiser may not be allowed to happen because we have to use the school and it may not be allowed.  Another fundraiser has to be completely overhauled due to supplier issues.  Oh. My. Goodness.  It is like throwing darts at a target behind me while I am blindfolded.

The smell of bug spray

We invited a friend over last evening to hang out on our back patio.  Because it was nearly 9:00 before he arrived, Andrew brought out the bug spray.  As we sprayed it on, the smell took me back to my childhood.  All of a sudden I was a kid again, and I was back in Coldwater, Michigan, where my grandparents had a summer home.  We spent our evenings outdoor at a fire, and since we were by the water, we especially needed to use the bug spray.  The same brand still smells exactly the same all these years later.  It made me smile to feel so close to those memories again.

Listening to my girl

We had a friend over last night, and it was a late night.  I slept in, and I allowed the kids to sleep in as well.  When Catherine woke up she stayed in bed for a bit.  I am in the living room, and I could hear her talking to the cats.  Our sweet girl is a cat lover.  She really is great with all animals, but she is definitely special with cats.  I smiled as I heard her talking to them, and then I could hear her singing to them.  Oh goodness, my heart melted a bit.  In two months she will be living on her own.  It seems so unreal to me that the day for that is drawing so close.  I can't imagine that she won't be here.  I know this is our goal as parents...to have our children grow up to be functioning adults, and I am proud of the person Catherine is.  I just wish it didn't happen so fast!

Not as bad as I thought it would be

Today really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Five of the six grandkids were there, and Andrew and my cousin's husband really got A LOT of things done.  Thomas was able to score a lot of metal and should get a decent amount of money.  I brought home a couple of things to keep for our family, but my grandmother was generally a hoarder and much stuff was pitched.  We've made plans to go back on Friday and get some more stuff done.  Overall, it wasn't a bad day at all.  And now we are home with a lovely day and can relax the rest of the day!

I am officially dreading tomorrow

Last weekend, my mother asked if my family could help her sometime this week at my grandmother's house.  My sister decided it needed to be this weekend so she could be there also.  My mother then asked my cousin if her family would join us.  That would give us many bodies (some of them rather strong) and we should be able to accomplish a lot.  Not a problem. 

Then my mother decided she was irritated with certain parts of the family.  She can't renovate and move into the house (which I think is not a great idea) until family members take the things they want.  She made a pronouncement that after a set period of time, things would be pitched or donated.  Not a bad idea, as this can not drag on forever.  Her tone, however, is not always amicable.

She just called to tell me that the dumpster she had ordered never showed up, so we aren't going to be able to get rid of some of the trash like she had hoped.  Furthermore, my one cousin, who doesn't necessarily get along well with others will be there tomorrow as well.  He isn't coming to work of course, but will be there to make sure he gets what he wants.  He doesn't hesitate to speak down to others and to be belligerent, and my mother and sister do not hesitate to call him on it and give it right back to him.  And of course I "love" spending time with my sister.

So yeah, this ought to be "fun".  I hadn't particularly been looking forward to this to begin with because I hate sweating, but obviously I get over myself and do what I need to do.  This though...well now I'm officially dreading the day.  Ugh.

The search for a new table cloth is going to push me to the edge

At our old house, we had a very "cute" dining room.  Our house was built in 1865 and had TONS of old house character.  Our dining room was a bright yellow with white trim and painted gray blue floors.  I loved our dining room as it also had french doors that led out to a stone patio.  I didn't necessarily have to worry about "decorating" the table.  Our table is a very large wooden table.  It looked very nice in our cute dining room.

And then we moved here.  I still like our dining room, but it presents some challenges.  First of all, the floor is wood.  So now the wood table with wooden chairs on our wood floor is a bit much.  I have three table cloths that I absolutely love.  One goes on around Easter and takes us through the summer.  One is clearly a fall table cloth, and the one that goes on for Christmas is not actually a holiday cloth so it can last until spring.  Our table can be three different sizes so I have many more in other sizes, but for our every day size this is what I have.  And the one that is currently on the table just got a stain on it that washing did not get out.  Ugh!!!!

I have checked out MANY online stores, and so far, nothing I really like.  I LOVE the one I have, so it's hard to beat that.  It needs very specific colors with a spring motif.  Oh, and I hate floral patterns so that is definitely challenging.  I am beginning to think this entire search is going to push me to the edge of insanity!

It's been a bit of a rough week

"Life" is starting back up again, which means a bit of a schedule.  It's been a tough week in that some members of the family are not grasping responsibilities.  Some members of the family have had a tough attitude this week regarding responsibilities.  It seems almost everything has been a battle this week, and honestly, it is draining and exhausting.  I am very, very tired of cleaning up after everyone else in this house.  I am very, very tired of trying to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be when they need to be there, and I am very tired of my husband's inability to manage time becoming an emergency for me.  I. Am. Tired.

Of course everything in this house is occurring against the backdrop of what is happening in our nation.  And there has been additional drama in the extended family.  It has all felt overwhelming.

On the upside, life is truly very blessed overall, and this shall pass.

From high school to college

Today Catherine had to be at the school this morning to turn in her gown.  This afternoon she officially registered for her college classes and had her financial aid advising meeting.  My sweet girl is officially enrolled and registered at college.  It's a big day for her!  I am more proud than I can put into words.

Of course, I don't understand how we got here so fast.  Not just since the time we laid our eyes on her, but since my own summer after senior year of high school.  Does it feel like it has been a long time?  Sort of.  Does it feel like nearly three decades?  Absolutely not.  And having children only made time go even faster.

We still have two months with her at home, and I hope to appreciate each day.