The end of 2020

Here we are at the last day of 2020.  This has definitely been a rough year in so many ways.  I miss G.G., and I hate what has happened within Mom's family.  I grieve things that have happened with Robert.  And of course, there has been a worldwide Pandemic that has changed so much of how we do things each and every day.

There are good things though.  Catherine graduated, and we were able to celebrate her.  And we had so, so much more time together during the spring and summer than we would have had otherwise.  I can't be sad about that.  It was absolutely wonderful.  We kept our connections with our good friends, and we all learned to use the technology of Zoom.  I appreciate the fact that I no longer have to leave my house to attend meetings!

We are ringing in the year with the friends who have been our circle all year, and we are grateful for them and the time together!  May 2021 bring so many blessings!

Monday morning of week 2

Thomas had to be at the pool at 8AM this morning.  I know my kids are old enough, but when one needs to be up, I am up.  It's how I do things.  Since we are only a week past the winter solstice, it was still pretty dark when he left at 7:40 this morning.  I have PLENTY of things I want to do today, but I've enjoyed the. past hour immensely.  I came into our front room and turned on our tree, and turned on the TV to a fake fire and Christmas music.  It was immensely peaceful, and I'm so grateful.

Peaceful is exactly what my sleep was not last night.  I had nightmare after nightmare, all with the same general theme.  I know exactly where that theme comes from subconsciously, but I'm not sure I can do anything about it right now.  That is why this morning's peacefulness was all the more welcome.  I'm so grateful we still have all week to be together.  Although it is MUCH more scheduled than last week, my sweet girl is still home all week!

It might be my most favorite evening ever

Last evening might be my most favorite ever.  It's definitely in the top 5.  The four of us were hanging out together, and after playing a game decided to watch our family's favorite movie, Mom's Night Out.  We had a fire going in the fireplace, the trees and a candle were lit, and we turned off the lights.  That movie makes us laugh and laugh, even though we know what's coming and we've seen it many times.  Oh my goodness, it just was so special to all be together like that.  I soaked up the memory and will keep it in my heart forever!

Christmas 2020

It's late, but I wanted to always be able to look back and remember today.  It was definitely a different, and a very quiet Christmas.  But it was still Christmas, and it was still a very special day.

We were all up and moving by 8:30.  It was the first time it was just the four of us, and it felt quiet.  Last year, my in-laws were here for the morning, but this year was just the four of us.  I was so excited to receive the complete series of "Modern Family" which I love.  I also received a giant box of specialty popcorn, and a Pandora charm for my necklace.  The kids enjoyed their gifts as well, and I really loved watching Andrew open his art work from Thomas.  We finished our morning with cinnamon rolls and making baked apples (my mom's request) before heading to her house.

My mom is no where near being unpacked from her move.  I'll be honest, it was very strange to spend the day with only the six of us, and even stranger to be at the house that used to belong to my grandmother.  And of course, it was our first Christmas without G.G.  I was very excited that my sister gave Thomas a Lego set.  I am so incredibly grateful that our Christmas was not completely without Legos this year!  Everyone seemed to really enjoy their gifts from each other.  We had a lovely meal of brisket, ham, potatoes, coleslaw, & green beans.  It felt so very quiet, but it was a pleasant afternoon.

Our drive home was a bit treacherous.  Not only was it snowing, but we almost witnessed a head-on collision and there was a suicidal deer running along the side of the road.  Ugh!  As a note, as we were driving home, the temperature was in the low teens...about 50 degrees colder than the ridiculously balmy weather we had last year!

Once we got home, we took a family photo in front of the tree.  We then changed into comfy jammies and watched the Christmas service our church had sent out.  Thomas then decided to put together his Lego set, while the rest of us decided to watch a Hallmark movie with a fire in the fireplace.  After, we watched a fun Christmas episode of "Big Bang Theory" and one of "Modern Family".  It's been a truly lovely day and I'm so grateful.  I hope we are able to celebrate with more family next year, but I"m so grateful for the three that spent the day with me!

A very special Christmas Eve

We had a truly lovely Christmas Eve.  We missed being able to go to church, but in the morning we will watch the service that was sent out today.  Earlier in the fall, Andrew had mentioned to our good friends that he would like to spend some time with them at the holidays.  It was decided that we would spend dinner with them.  Their boys are home for college, and although I remember taking them around to open houses when they were in second and third grades, tonight we were taking them some drinks because they are both over 21.  Where has the time gone?  As I told them, it was delightful that we had been friends long enough that I could remember those days, and still be enjoying them today.  It truly meant something so very special to get to spend this evening with them.  They are friends who are truly family!

I found the tree

When my grandmother passed away last winter, there were really only two things I wanted that had belonged to her.  One was a photo album I had put together for her just a few years ago.  I'll never forget that Christmas Day how she sat and studied that book.  She truly loved it.  When we came across it, my mother was very excited.  I mentioned I had all the photos at home, and she was welcome to keep the album if she wanted.

The other item was a Christmas decoration we had given her in 2014.  My grandmother had long ago stopped putting up a Christmas tree, but I had found a table top decoration I loved.  It included the year and the name of her (then) nine great-grandkids.  I brought it home with me in the spring, and looked forward to getting to add it to my Christmas decorations.  When the time came though, I couldn't find where I had put it.  I was becoming upset that I wouldn't be able to enjoy for another year, because I was certain I would find it as soon as the holidays were over.  Last evening, though, I finally found that tree!  I was so pleased, and I put it in the room where I spend most of my time.  It brings me such great joy to be able to look up and see it sitting there! 

Three days until Christmas

There are only three days until Christmas!  We are spending our last full day with my in-laws, and then will be heading home tomorrow so Thomas can get one swim practice in this week.  It's been a nice visit overall, although I know how hard all of this is on my mother-in-law.  We did a fabulous Christmas dinner last evening, and then this afternoon we will exchange gifts.  Most of the gifts we have given to them have already arrived, as we gave them fruit and a coffee-of-the-month club.  I'm so grateful that we are having this time together with them!

The first week of our break

It's the first Monday of our break.  It's been a busy few days.  Thomas had swim meets both Friday evening and Saturday morning.  We drove to my in-laws yesterday.  Technically it is a state we aren't supposed to visit, but we actually only get here and then pretty much stay in and see no one.  My in-laws aren't seeing anyone either, so in many ways it is safer than being at home.  Andrew's dad is about the same as he was at Thanksgiving, and we are grateful for that stability.

Kyle's emergency procedure was successful (see previous post) and she is also stabilized.  We are so very grateful for that as well!

I am so grateful for all of this time that we have together as a family!

Prayers for Kyle

Earlier this week my sister texted to let me know that a young woman, Kyle, who is my age, was in the hospital fighting COVID, and things were not looking good.  She was on a ventilator.  Kyle had no underlying health conditions, and her doctors were cautiously optimistic due to her overall good health, but it was also at a critical point.  I've known Kyle since I was in Kindergarten, and I know her entire family.  I know her mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, even step-cousins!  Her aunt & uncle were at my aunt's & grandmother's funerals.  Her brother and I attended the same college and my sister came to visit us both.  Until I was older, I always thought Kyle was more of a girl's name because I knew her before I knew most boys named Kyle.  Yesterday's news provided a slimmer of hope.  Today's news was horrifying.  She is being careflighted to a university hospital in order to perform a procedure that has a 50-50 survival rate.  Please pray!  Please send all good thoughts her way that she keeps fighting and her body can heal!

Two weeks spread out in front of us

I woke up this morning, and I was immediately grateful for the fact that I have two weeks off spread in front of us.  Thomas is swimming today, and although he has practices, his next meet is two weeks from today.  We will have a little extended family time, and lots of friends (already in our bubble) time.  I'm very grateful.  I also immediately realized that since I don't have summers off anymore, having this much extended time off will only be happening once a year (although I should note that I will actually be working remotely over the holidays).

We had a very tough week in this house.  Catherine received some bad news regarding her first semester grades and was pretty upset.  It's a lesson learned, but it's a hard one for her.  She admits she didn't necessarily put in much effort, especially early on, and she also admits she didn't seek help when she realized she was struggling.  Thomas also really struggled this semester with the online learning, and it was just a really, really tough week in that regard.

Two weeks though, with no school work to think about.  So excited about that!  And Andrew just let me know that he has picked Thomas up from the meet, and that means none of us need to leave the house again today.  What an awesome Saturday it will be the rest of the day!

Nine months into this

Nine months ago we were beginning the stay-at-home of the Pandemic.  I never, in a million years, thought at that point that we would be where we are now.  I know it is stressful for pretty much everyone, but I also know teachers and students are very stressed.  I worry about them, especially my teen.  The teachers have mentioned that they feel some of their students are sad.  I suspect they are a little bit.  I know my grandmother seemed sad.  I worry about her and all of her alone time.  I'm so very grateful I've been able to share this time with my sweet little family.  At the same time, I am so looking forward to an even better 2021! 

The bracelet

The first Christmas after Robert graduated, my best friend gave me a bracelet as a gift.  I loved the style, and she had specifically chosen it because it had a Navy anchor on it.  I loved that bracelet.  I wore it often.  I even took a picture of it and texted it to Robert.  I told him one of the reasons I loved it was because it made me think of him (which of course was her purpose), and I felt like he was with me when I wore it.  Of course I never heard a response from Robert.

As things happened though, I stopped wearing the bracelet.  While I still love the style, the fact that it reminded me of Robert was just too painful.  I have no intention of getting rid of it, but it's been tucked into my jewelry box for quite some time.  Since I loved the style, I decided to buy myself a Christmas present.  I found a very similar bracelet, except that it has a dangle charm that says "Blessed."  I absolutely love it, and I am very blessed!

Just a few more days...

We are almost to the break (although I did agree to work one day over break).  Catherine gets home tomorrow, and I'm so excited to have her around for nearly THREE WEEKS!  I'm so grateful that she wants to spend this much time with us.  She has her own apartment and could go back if she wanted to, but she mentioned she will be here until at least Andrew's birthday in the beginning of January.  How did we get so lucky and have such an amazing daughter?

I spent yesterday visiting my Dad's cousin for a bit.  We social distanced, but it was so good to see them.  Today I dropped my grandmother's fruit order to her.  We both sat social distanced again and wore masks.  It was so wonderful to get to spend some time with her.  I am worried about her.  I worry about her getting COVID, and I worry about her mentally.  I know that she is lonely, and these dark, cold days don't help.  I try to reach out to her, but I just worry that she seems a little sad.  While tomorrow is never promised, she is almost 90, and it kills me to think that her last Christmas on Earth could be spend this way.  She is healthy overall and doing well, but you just never know.

Still lots to do this week, but life is full of so many blessings!

The middle of December

In twelve days we will be celebrating Christmas.  In some ways this year has flown by, and in so very many ways, it feels it has been forever.  I only have to work through Thursday, then I'll be off until January 4.  Andrew and Thomas still have school Friday, then they are off until the same date.  

I found out tonight that Catherine will be home Tuesday, and she plans to stay home until at least January 4th as well.  I will get three whole weeks with my daughter under the same roof.  I am so excited!

I'm realizing full-time jobs leave a lot less time for blogging.  I want to write about the Giving Tree at church, and about so many other things.  I'll just have to do the best I can when I can.

Our weekend was busy, but it was a good busy!

Finished with her first semester of college

Catherine let us know yesterday that she had officially finished her first semester of college!  I am so excited and proud of her.  She has worked hard, and I know there have been times when she is lonely because she hasn't been able to go out and meet people.  She got it all done, and although I'm not sure when she is coming, I'm looking forward to her being home for a while!

It won't always be this crazy

In some regards, I think I'm nuts.  Starting a full-time job at the end of the year in the middle of a pandemic seems a little crazy.  And I'll be honest, there have been plenty of crazy days.  Andrew commented the other day that there have been many evenings since I started this job that I've had to then work for hours at the church, or work on band items.  He's not wrong.  The fact that we had to get a new computer at church didn't help matters.  He was commenting last evening as I was wrapping that I always seem to have something to do, and more and more after that. 

He's not wrong, but I assured him it won't always be this way.  Christmas cards are almost done, and our shopping is complete!  The end of the year won't last forever, and I'll get the presents wrapped.  There will be days when I get to come home and just be home, and sit and visit with my family.  It is crazy right now, but this won't last forever! 

An afternoon to get some things done

Thomas has been struggling.  School is feeling overwhelming, and family emotions and the stress of a pandemic are not helping.  It's been an especially rough couple of days, and last evening was particularly rough.  I was feeling a little beat up over some things as well.  I made arrangements to leave work early.  Although I had to take care of a few errands, when I arrived home before 2:30, I didn't have to leave again,  I can't remember the last time that happened!  Most work days I've had since I started my new job I've either gone to church to work, or been working on band things, or running errands.  I'm not complaining, because this is life, and I know it won't last forever.

Today though, I was able to make sure Thomas was focusing on school work, and I was able to get some gifts wrapped.  I was able to clean out my purse, and I was able to go through some catalogs and mail that had stacked up.  I am so incredibly grateful to be able to have this afternoon!

It's beginning to look like mine

My job is very much beginning to be mine.  I actually had things to take care of today and tasks that were my own.  I truly enjoy my job, and I think I will grow to enjoy it even more with the passage of time.

I've also been making my desk my own.  When I first started the job, Andrew bought me a lovely nameplate paperweight for my desk.  I've had it there since early on.  Today, I added a family photo that we took with Catherine in her cap & gown.  It's in a lovely frame that I purchased yesterday.  It truly makes me smile to have it on my desk.  It's MY desk!  I put it that way only because for the last ten years, my job has literally been to sit at someone else's desk and execute their lesson plans.  Even at my church job, I use the desk and computer of our administrative assistant.  It is so very exciting to to have my own space!

I've been blogging for twelve years

Twelve years ago today, I began this blog.  Strangely enough, I vividly remember that day.  I am so very grateful for the memories that here.  I know it has become less about stories of my children (especially funny stories!), and more about my thoughts and feelings.  I don't think many people read this blog, and I'm completely okay with that.  I'm just so very grateful for all of the memories that are here!

Sunday Blessings

I kind of want today to last forever.  I know it isn't possible, but maybe the feeling I have today can last forever.

We spent last evening with our "social bubble friends".  They have been part of our social bubble since the beginning.  And honestly, they are the only part of our true indoor social bubble, other than Andrew's parents and my mom.  The kids love being together, and knowing that we are getting together always entices Catherine to come and spend the weekend with us.  It's beyond delightful.  While there, we made plans for the holidays.  We will have Christmas Eve dinner with them, just our two families.  We will also spend New Year's Eve with them, again, just our two families, and they have asked us to bring our pup and stay overnight.  I am so grateful for their friendship, love, and hospitality.

It's also been a truly lovely day.  We all slept in, and hope to do church this evening (our church is again closed and service materials are sent out over email).  When I got up this morning I put on YouTube, which has  channel that is a fireplace playing Christmas music.  It even simulates the crackling of the wood logs.  It was so lovely to sit in my living room this morning with that, my coffee, and the Christmas tree lit.

Andrew and Thomas had to go pick up some stuff from my mom this afternoon.  Catherine drove back to her apartment this afternoon to do a quick assignment, and then to get some more clothes.  She decided that since the campus is closed and finals are all online, she would prefer to spend at least tonight, and possible tomorrow night with us as well.  Truly, truly grateful beyond words.

I have a significant amount of work to do to pick up the house, but I am oh so grateful for the blessings in our lives.  Even though things are very different this year, it doesn't mean they are bad!

Early December

This week really flew by in many ways.  In addition to my school job, I also worked a significant amount at the church (and plan to work there again tomorrow).  Andrew also had to work an athletic event, and of course there are gifts that need to be purchased.  Honestly though, I don't feel stressed or exhausted.  I feel blessed and grateful most days.

Catherine is home for the weekend.  Last evening Thomas didn't have swim practice so we were planning to watch a cheesy Christmas movie.  That is exactly what we did, and we had an absolute blast.  I love that we were all there together, and I love that she wanted to be there as well.  Such an absolute blessing.

The only downside is the tremendous amount of sadness brought on by my extended family.  I truly don't understand the decisions made by my uncle, but I just can't help be sad by it.  I love my family and we've always been so close.  Was I fooling myself?  Will there ever be another big extended gathering again?  I don't have those answers, and I can't worry about it.  I've decided all I can truly do is to choose to love and be kind to the people who do choose to be in my life, and that's exactly what I intend to do.

I'm trying to soak up all the happiness of the Christmas season!