The end of another February

Just one more day left this month.  I'm always grateful that February is a short month, and I'm rarely sad to see it end.  In past Februarys, we faced the passing of my grandmother, my grandfather, our friend Tim, Andrew's cousin, a good friend lost his dad, and our dear family friends lost their six-month-old son.  We've face teen breakups, poor choices by family members leading to much drama, and other tough situations.  This year has been no exception as a young former student passed away just over a week ago,  and a war has begun.  Emotions in our house have been a little high as well, as we are in the final few months of our youngest child's high school days.  Honestly, it's exhausting and draining on many days.  I like to think that March brings better weather, and overall happier days!

Twos-day

I don't really have any thing specific to write about, but I couldn't let today go by without a post.  After all, today is 2-22-22, and it falls on a Tuesday!  As a numbers person, it's really just awesome.  I had a rough night with very little sleep, but I'm grateful to find something, no matter how little, to celebrate!

Not something anyone really wants to be doing

Andrew and I attended the visitation for Luke this evening.  As we left, I mentioned to Andrew that it isn't really something any of us want to be doing, and of course he agreed.  We went early because Andrew needed to get back for baseball tryouts, and we knew it would be a large visitation.

We weren't wrong about that either.  We went in 15 minutes before it officially began, and we were out just as it was supposed to actually be beginning.  The parking lot was already full, and vehicles had begun to be parked at the police station across the street and at a near-by school.  I was able to see a few of the former students I knew from my subbing days, and I gave them hugs.  None of us wanted to be there, because it shouldn't be happening this way.

When I found out Luke has passed, I'll be honest, I thought about all the kids I'd grown to know and love through my subbing days, and I worried about them.  I told Andrew that it made me realize that while I like my job, I want to be back at the high school.  When I started subbing, I wanted to primarily work in just one building because I wanted the kids to know me.  I wanted them to know I was there, and although it can be challenging to establish relationships when you are just a sub, I wanted to be one more person , one more adult in their lives if they needed it.  I'm never going to have that working at the job I'm in now, and being at a not-inexpensive private school means most of the kids I see everyday aren't going to have "need" for that kind of relationship.  I don't know that anything will open anytime soon, because it had been a decade since there had been an opening before all of those last year.  But I know now, I won't allow fear of rejection to keep me from applying.  My heart is with those kids.

My grandmother's video

When my grandmother passed away nearly two years ago, we took lots of family photos and made it into a memorial video.  My mother made sure all of us grandkids received a copy, and I'm so very grateful.  It's one of my favorite things to watch.  I know that Andrew and the kids probably don't care very much, so I watch it when I'm home alone.  In the beginning, it made me so emotional because she was gone.  Then, it made me very emotional because of the essential break-up of the family.  Today, I watched it, and although there was still some sadness, there was also so much gratitude.  I'm still saddened that there will be no more group photos, but I'm so grateful for the photos that do exist.  I'm grateful for all of the times that our family gathered together and the memories that were made, both physically by photos and in our hearts.  I'm also grateful that gratitude can outweigh the sadness now.  I miss those no longer with us and I miss those that have been hurtful, but I'm still grateful.

Four day weekend

The last few years, this long, four-day weekend has been among my favorites each year.  This year, it just doesn't feel the same.  For one thing, it was kind of a busy week.  Last evening, Andrew had parent conferences, so it was nearly 8:00 before he got home.  I had taken Thomas to a meeting, so it was nearly 8:30 before we were home together.  Today, he still had to work, and this afternoon he left to go visit his mom.  I had a doctor appointment that is never fun, but it's done and everything is fine.  After having the year off last year, we have swim commitments again this year.  Andrew will be back Sunday, so at least we have a day together.  He's still on the road this evening, and I'll be glad when he gets there.  And of course, Catherine isn't here and while it is absolutely wonderful that she is enjoying college so much and is doing well on her own, I miss her tremendously.  It's the way life goes though.  When adding my emotions about the passing of Luke, it's just not a fun relaxing, long weekend that I would like it to be.  Grateful for a little bit of down time though.

I didn't want it to be real

This morning I came out to where my husband was eating breakfast.  He said he had bad news, and then told me that Luke had passed away last night.  Luke was a student who graduated with Catherine.  Andrew had not had Luke in class, but had coached him in football.  In fact, Andrew had also coached his older brother who was 16 years older.  Luke was the eighth of nine kids.  I don't know all of them, but the ones I do know are fabulous people.  My heart is beyond broken for the family.  I was devastated to learn that Luke took his own life.  I can't hug my kiddos tightly enough, and it doesn't feel as though there are enough prayers.  I really didn't want it to be real, but of course it is.  So, so sad.

Olympics, tears, and a busy weekend

I have never been successful at watching the Olympics and not crying.  I cry and hurt when the athletes cry, and I cry tears of joy along with them when there is victory...especially unexpected victory.  Friday evening had all those emotions.  I watched Nick Baumgardner's heartbreaking interview when he failed to advance in his Olympic event.  Then I watched as he was paired with Lindsey Jacobellis and had another shot, at age 40, to win an Olympic medal.  His enthusiasm was contagious.  He made it through the qualifying, and when it came to the finals, I couldn't hardly watched.  I left the room, but when I came back only he had raced; Lindsey still needed to do her part for their medal.  I cheered and yelled throughout her race, and the end result was GOLD!  Yep, I cried again.  It was all such a wonderful story.

Our Olympic viewing was after having a lovely dinner to celebrate our anniversary.  We had some amazing food and fun cocktails.  Saturday we took the kids to Dayton and had the best fries EVER as we celebrated our family, and yesterday I visited with my grandmother.  She's doing really well and it was a very nice visit.  And of course last evening we enjoyed a really great football game, even if it didn't go the way we had hoped.  It was a busy February weekend!

Super Bowl Sunday

While we are Steelers fans in our house, living near Cincinnati means it's been a VERY fun few weeks in the area.  Unlike teams of years ago, the current Bengals seem to be decent human beings and they are fun to root for.  Cincinnati Public schools, and many other schools in the area have closed or at least delayed tomorrow.  Our public school district announced there would be NO delay here tomorrow.  And I'm pretty sure most people at the private school where I work, in spite of being so close to Cincinnati, don't even know much about tonight's game.

Thomas is choosing to stick with his Steeler's roots and is rooting against the Bengals.  I remember rooting for the Bengals in both super bowl appearances in the 1980's, neither of which ended in victory.  Andrew and I are enjoying the vibe of the area, and there is no way I couldn't like Joe Burrow.  I know so many Bengals fans (including most of my family) and I would be very happy for them if the Bengals could win.  Fun times around here (and an unexpected snow miracle would also be awesome)!

The last meet of high school swim

Tonight Thomas is in Cincinnati at his very last ever high school swim.  That means in just a few hours, high school swim will be a thing of the past in this house after eight season (first two were dive only).  Technically, we still have next week to fulfill additional responsibilities, but otherwise we are completely finished.  Another "last" in this house.  I'm so grateful for so many positives that came from swimming for all three of my kids!

Hard not to wish it was last week

I am so grateful that my schedule has adjusted such that I only work until 11:00 on Wednesdays.  Because of that, my extended weekend due to weather began even earlier.  I knew when I left work last Wednesday that I didn't need to work the next day and Friday seemed unlikely which would lead right into a four day weekend with virtually no commitments.  That is such an extremely rare event, and it's hard not to wish that it was this time last week!

Still the best decision I ever made

Today is our anniversary.  Both Andrew and I agree that choosing to spend our lives together was the best decision we ever made.  I am so grateful that I've had him to lean on all of these years.  I'm so incredibly lucky, and many days I don't feel as though I deserve him.

Unfortunately, he is working at a girls basketball game this evening.  He regrets that tremendously, but I completely understand.  Sometimes jobs happen when we'd rather be doing other things, but we are responsible human beings.  It's absolutely okay.  We'll spend some time together this evening, and then hope for a dinner this weekend.

It's been a rough afternoon.  There is a situation at work that may have been from some misinformation, but could literally cost our school tens of thousands of dollars.  Even though it has nothing to do with me,  it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.  I came home from work feeling that way, only to be greeted by Thomas who is nearly in tears.  He is very concerned that he won't be able to perform well in the auditions he has coming up for universities, and therefore is afraid he won't be able to get into the music ed programs.  While I understand that music teachers need to be able to play instruments, he isn't interested in performing so this seems ridiculous the level of music performance required.  He is hurting, and of course, I hurt with him.  And then shortly after having that tough conversation with him, I learned that the father of a high school friend has entered hospice care and they expect it to be just a matter of days.  My heart is so completely broken for them.  It was a very tough afternoon.

I know though, that with the exception of the passing of my friend's father, everything else we can work through.  Everything else is going to be okay in the long run.  We'll get through these things, and especially on my anniversary, I am reminded that we will get through them together.

We truly needed this weekend

This weekend has been absolutely wonderful.  Even before the storm, we didn't have many plans for the entire weekend except for a short work shift for Thomas this afternoon.  Adding in two full days of almost complete nothingness, and especially the fact that we knew so early on Wednesday, and it was almost perfect.  We truly, truly needed this time.  I think that would be true for almost everyone in education.  We needed this surprise gift.  The fact that Catherine's work shut down Thursday and she didn't work made it even more incredible.  Although it meant two days without pay, I am so, so grateful for the trade off!

Freezing rain, sleet, snow

This winter storm has had it all!  We had a longer stretch of freezing rain than originally predicted, and our power went out at 6AM.  Fortunately, it was only out for 1/2 hour, and we generally were able to sleep through it.  By the time we were up, it had just started to transition to the sleet.  We had about six hours of sleet, and then it turned over to heavy snow.  The winds picked up also, and it's pretty rough out there.  I had gone out while it was sleeting in order to make sure we could get into the cars.  It was only going to get colder and deeper.  I could get into three of the four vehicles, and we don't need to worry about getting into Thomas's car.

Catherine is here because she is supposed to work tonight and tomorrow.  I'm not sure we are going to be able to get here there, and I'm pretty sure we aren't going to be able to get her home. Her best friend lives right around the corner from her work, and I know they'll put her up if we get desperate.  Many restaurants are closed, and I'm surprised (and a little disappointed) that she still needs to go in.  It would be a perfect evening to just have a family game or movie tonight.  Schools are already closed for tomorrow!

Winter weather coming

We've been closely watching the weather all week.  At one point it looked as though our area was going to receive a crippling amount of ice.  Another time it seemed as though we were going to get over a foot of snow.  With less than 12 hours until the "event" begins, we are looking at a little less than 0.25" ice, and about 6" of snow.  It's supposed to last for about 30 hours.  The public schools closed for tomorrow at 10am.  That is absolutely delightful.  We will be closed also, although the official announcement didn't come until this afternoon.  Catherine is supposed to work this weekend.  Her classes have gone virtual for the rest of the week, so she should be here by 5:00.  We are cautiously optimistic we might be able to get her to work tomorrow evening.  My vehicle as all-wheel drive, so that's our best best. We'll just see how it goes.

I am super excited that it is supposed to snow all day tomorrow.  It sounds like it will be lovely to watch!!