Today would have been 49 years

Today would have been my parents' 49th wedding anniversary.  They made it to 40 years before Dad died, but we didn't celebrate that.  He was too sick that year.  We did a big party for their 25th, and we did a card shower for their 35th.  Even at that point, Dad had been sick for twelve years and we really didn't know how many years would remain, and a big party would have been too much.  Last night as I was dozing off to sleep, I was having a dream, but it wasn't really because I wasn't asleep so I don't really know what it was.  But for just a second, I forgot my dad was gone.  That was a harsh realization that kind of sucked, but I know I'll see him again someday.  Dad is missed every day, but anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be especially emotional.

It melts my heart just like when he was little

Thomas works at the university pool that is right across from the church we attend.  Because of this, oftentimes he parks at our church instead of paying for parking on campus.  Our pastor is aware of this, and our church secretary said he should just use her spot when he works since it's rarely while she's working.  This spot is near the church office, and there have been a couple of times I've heard him when I've been working (Hondas have very specific horns).  Today was one of those days.  I heard the horn, and opened the door and waved.  Thomas smiled and waved back, and oh goodness, memories and emotions came flooding.  I remembered how, as a fifth grader, he would twist and turn in his bus seat to wave at me until he drove out of sight and couldn't see me anymore.  I remember how my heart felt on those days, knowing it wouldn't be that way forever.  I remember back to his Kindergarten days when I would drop him off each afternoon and watch him run up the steps and into the school.  I remember how it used to pull at my heart, as though it was literally leaving my body and going into school with him.  I'm not at all sure how we got from those days to these days so fast.  Thomas has 39 days of school remaining this year.  That's it.  We have 39 days remaining of public school parenting.  Wow.  My kids always have my heart with them where ever they are, and it feels as though so much of it is going to be so far away, so very soon.

He suddenly realized it's coming quickly

On Saturday, we were discussing with Thomas our schedule of things for the upcoming months.  He was relaying information to his girlfriend via text as some things will include her.  He asked about the date for graduation, and when I told him, he suddenly looked at me and said, "that's two months from today."  His eyes were wide and he was a little breathless.  It suddenly hit him that graduation is really going to happen and it's coming quickly.  I know this is all going to fly by and I'm not sure I'm ready for it either, but indeed it is coming!

Ready to go back to work tomorrow

Strangely enough, I am really ready to go back to work tomorrow.  I'm not excited about getting up early, but I know that I have a lot to do and I'm really looking forward to getting to it.  I'm sure part of it is the expense of the trip the guys just took, as well as the fact that we booked a house at the ocean for June that we made a deposit on, and I don't get paid if I'm not working!  Overall though, I think it's just that this wasn't my most favorite break ever, and I mostly like my job, so I'm ready to get to it.  I also know that Catherine is coming to spend the ENTIRE weekend next weekend, and that makes me incredibly happy! 

Another end of break near the end of March

As spring break comes to a close for another year, I'm sitting here watching it snow.  Ugh.  March snow is never as much fun (and not nearly as appreciated!) as snow in December or January.  I know it happens, but I don't love it.

Andrew and Thomas had a very nice trip.  Thomas was able to accomplish some things that were really important to him, and I'm so very grateful that they had that time together.  I mostly just hung out at home, and prayed everyone would be safe.  It was a trip that was fairly hard on my anxiety levels, but I'm so very grateful they took that trip.

Catherine arrived Thursday afternoon, the same day that Andrew and Thomas came home.  Andrew was coaching at a game though, and Catherine had to work that night so it was mostly just everyone doing their own thing, especially since Thomas hadn't really slept in about 36 hours and fell asleep at 7PM!

Yesterday Catherine had to work again, but our evening was absolutely wonderful.  We took the kids to a place that has become my favorite restaurant in town.  I LOVE the atmosphere, the food is awesome, and everything is reasonably priced.  We came home and sat together in our family room before playing a game.  We loved watching St. Peter's eliminate Purdue from the tournament.  My heart was so full and I'm grateful for the time together.

Our family is facing many transitions in the next several months.  I'm grateful to have Andrew by my side as we enter a new phase of life.  I'm sending up lots of prayers for emotional healing for family members, and I'm sending up prayers of gratitude for the memories we've all made!

Not sure I am really ready for this

While I love spring break and not having to work, I don't think this will be my most favorite break ever.  Andrew and Thomas are taking a big trip, and I'm very happy for them.  I have no desire to make this trip with them, and I love that they are doing this together.  However, this is definitely one of the things of life that ratchets up my anxiety.  While I will certainly enjoy my quiet time at home, they are leaving today and won't be back until Thursday so that is A LOT of time to myself.  Part of me hopes it goes quickly, but who wants to wish away spring break????  I'm also a little worried about Thomas, as this trip is going to be a little emotional for him, and Andrew isn't always good at recognizing that.

Overall, I am working hard on just having faith, and not allowing my anxiety to take over!

This is the best part

I got off work about 3-1/2 hours ago.  Thomas got home from school about an hour ago, and Andrew got home about 1/2 hour ago.  This is the best part of break...the very beginning!  And the fact that it is March Madness weekend makes it even more amazing.  I'm taking Andrew and Thomas to the airport tomorrow for the trip they are taking together, and I'll be home with the animals.  I am so, so excited to have this next week off!

College decision

Thomas has done a lot of exploring for his college options...much more so than Catherine did.  He had been hoping to major in music education, but we learned the hard way that since he hadn't been taking private lessons since middle school that wasn't really an option.  I'm still disappointed that a kid who doesn't feel he is a performer (nor does he want to be) but wants to instill his love of music in others can't have that option because he can't play his saxophone at an extremely high level.  Regardless, Thomas had said if it didn't work out with the music route, he would go into Social Studies education, and I think that is the current plan.  He had toured both Bowling Green State and Wright State, and his final decision is Wright State.  Andrew had been pulling for BGSU, but I didn't really want to get involved.  At the end of the day though, I am thrilled that he is headed to Wright State.  I love that it has dorms and meal plans so we know he'll eat, and I love the fact that it is only about 75 minutes away.  I kept that fact to myself though, throughout his entire decision process, because I didn't want my sensitive guy to feel swayed one way or another.  He submitted his housing application today and we are working on getting registered for orientation, and it's all just really exciting!

Saying good-bye to a friend's father

Yesterday I journeyed about an hour north to the funeral of a very dear friend's father.  He had passed about a month ago.  I last saw him just about four years ago when her grandfather passed away.  Her family moved away from our hometown while we were in college, and her dad had been through two kidney transplants, strokes, cancer...just one thing after another.

Our dads were so very similar.  They were both fairly young when us girls were born, and they almost shared the shame birthday (her dad's is the day after my dad's).  They were both mostly surrounded by females in their family (her dad had one son but three girls), and both were fairly quiet, but oh so very friendly.  They both worked so hard and taught amazing important life lessons.  I think they could both fix anything.  And ultimately, they suffered so, so much with their health.  It was an absolutely beautiful service.  I'm so grateful that I was able to be there to share in the celebration of her dad's life!

Two years later

Two years ago today our governor announced that schools were shutting down.  Obviously, it is a day I vividly remember.  I know now that none of us truly understood what was happening.  To say that day was life changing is an understatement.

I remember how scary it was, especially in the beginning.  I remember being unnerved just going to the grocery, and hoping and praying that we didn't contract anything while there.  I remember being riveted by the daily press conferences at 2:00 each and every day.  I had no idea when I walked out of school two years ago today that I would not get to walk back in as a substitute, not only that year, but for many years at least, and maybe ever.  To be honest, that is truly my biggest regret about the pandemic.

While I remember the fears and the difficulties, oh goodness, I remember the wonderful family times we had as well.  So much togetherness, and it was lovely.  I remember family walks with so much laughter, family drives with so much laughter, movies and games, all with so much laughter.  Those are the memories I hold so dear to my heart.  I am so very, very grateful for the time we were given together as a family.  In so many ways, our days were just so simple.

It's been life changing certainly, and I'm very grateful that our family has not necessarily been personally touched by so much tragedy that has occurred during this pandemic.  I'm also appreciative of the fact that while we are not out of the woods, numbers are low and I feel safe being out again.  It's just hard to believe it has all been two years!

Watching it snow

Another Friday has (thankfully) arrived, and I'm sitting here watching it snow.  It's going to be an accumulating snow, but probably not even enough to really shovel...maybe an inch or two.  I must say, I've been looking forward to this evening all week.  Catherine is staying here tonight, and Andrew and I are treating her to Chinese food for dinner.  Thomas is working until 8:00, and then we are going to gather together and watch a movie.  It's been a months since we've had an evening together, and I'm super excited about it, and the lovely scenery makes it even better!

Another Wednesday the 2nd

A month ago today was also Wednesday the 2nd...one of the things I love about February and March!  Except in Leap Years of course...but that's another story.  As we are enjoying the beautiful, very spring-like day we are having, I can't help but think about how wonderful the last Wednesday the 2nd was as well.  Completely opposite of this though.  The day itself wasn't awful, but we knew a major winter storm was coming.  Honestly, it was delightful to get off work that morning (I don't usually work Wednesday afternoons) and know that I probably wasn't going back to work until Monday.  I was staring at four days of pretty much nothingness.  There may come a time in life when I find that boring because there is too much of it, but a month ago today it was awesome!