How is it only Tuesday?

 I was trying to figure out why I keep thinking surely it must be Wednesday or Thursday.  Then I realized I have worked 15.5 hours at school, an hour at church, and 4.5 hours at athletics in the last 36 hours.  That's 21 hours, and since I work short days on Wednesdays, there are Thursdays when I go to school and don't have this many hours yet.  Of course, tomorrow I'll work at least most of the day due to staff shortages, and possibly all day (depending on some things) before I head to the church again.  Honestly, it is exhausting, but I'm grateful for the opportunities.  The way I see it, is that every penny I earn is then one more penny I have to help the kids with their college expenses.  That's important to me.  So if we have to be this exhausted for a few years, we'll be do it!  And even with all these hours, that is still far fewer than Andrew has worked this week, AND he has parent conferences still to go!

Not today

We had plans with friends this evening.  I love these friends with all of my heart, but I just can't today.  In fact, that is almost what I titled this post..."I can't today."  It's okay, because today I don't have to.  The last two weeks have been hard, and the four weeks before that weren't a piece of cake.  Starting the school year had challenges at my job.  We face the same staffing challenges of many places.  Andrew has worked a lot of athletic events, and I've added them to my schedule as well for some extra money for the kids.  Thomas had his roommate drama and adjusting to school, while Andrew and I are adjusting to empty nesting.  And then of course there is everything with Catherine, more than is for public knowledge.  It's been hard.

I had something every evening this week.  Yesterday's "thing" was handling a bank transaction that required an hour drive each way, and it was a Friday afternoon where I was the only admin staff working and there was some chaos.  I finally made it home just after 6:30, and was so grateful Andrew had thrown a quiche in the oven.  It was a piping hot meal on a chilly Friday evening, and it felt perfect.

As Andrew and I were sitting here last evening, I said to Andrew that it was so nice to be home and be, and he interrupted me by saying that's where the sentence ended.  It was nice to "just be."  And that is what I need this weekend and today.  I love my friends, but I am protecting my mental health.  The thought of going out this evening made me want to cry.  When I told Andrew, he understood completely.  In fact, he said that although he was looking forward to eating out, he didn't want to continue the evening beyond that and that isn't how we do things with these friends.  That's okay, but today, I just can't.

Soup, sweatshirt, and scented candle weather

 Yesterday's high was 93 degrees.  It wasn't overly humid, but it was still way too hot.  Today, the high was 74 degrees, and that was after Midnight.  The afternoon high was close to 70.  Tonight it is supposed to get down into the 40's.  I had soup for dinner, I'm sitting here in a sweatshirt (and wore long sleeves to work today), and my favorite fall scented candle has been lit.  I absolutely love it.  It is especially delightful as we are heading into the weekend.  In just nine days it will be October, and fall will be in full splendor.  I love this!

I needed this Wednesday afternoon

Wednesday is the day I only work 1/2 days.  It is tremendously appreciated.  Last week, after getting off work at school, I went straight to church for a meeting with our Pastor, and by the time I was ready to leave church, life with Catherine had exploded.  The week before, after getting off at school, I went straight to church, and then went back to school to work after care.  It was almost 6:00 before I got home that day.  While I have a meeting at church this evening and will also need to work, I'm grateful I've had a few hours here this afternoon to have complete quiet.  I am very grateful for this time.

This is also the last official day of summer, and the weather tomorrow will be appropriate!  Although it is currently in the 90's (ugh, and another great reason to be grateful I'm not working!), tomorrow the temps won't make it out of the 60's.  I could not be more excited!!!  In fact, by tomorrow I expect to be downright giddy!

Our weekend

I'll be honest, life has been pretty draining for these last few days.  Ultimately, I think everything and everyone is going to be just fine.  It's just been a tough few days.  Catherine slept away nearly the entire day of Friday, which is exactly what she needed.  Again, she has a clean bill of health (physically), and physically she is bouncing back quickly.  Honestly, while she could use some specific behavior therapy, I believe if she would maintain visits with her counselor, she can manage her incidents in the meantime.

I picked Thomas up from school Friday evening.  He had to work, so I didn't get there until 8:00.  Because Andrew had to be at the football game, we asked Catherine's best friend to come and sit with her while we were both gone.  Belle had these same pseudo seizures for years when she was in junior high and high school, but she had never seen one.  It was a new perspective for her!  She had a quiet day yesterday, and by today she was feeling much better.  Andrew took her back to school this afternoon.  She can't drive and has an appointment with regular doctor Tuesday morning, so I'll need to go get her after work tomorrow, and then take her back to school Tuesday morning.  I'm trying not panic about what this hospital bill is going to be and how much work I'll miss (maybe one of these days I'll have a job that actually has paid time off)!

Meanwhile, Thomas had his first work shift Friday evening which is why I picked him up later, and we didn't get home until about 9:30.  I appreciated that most of the traffic was gone by then.  Yesterday he hung out until it was time for the school homecoming dance.  Since his girlfriend is still in high school, he had come home to go with her.  To be honest, it was not much effort or excitement in our house, mostly because we just weren't up for it.  He had fun though, and enjoyed seeing underclassmen he knew.

Andrew and I went to church this morning.  Honestly, it was a little depressing because it was the kick-off for the Sunday School year, and there were all of five students in attendance in grades pre-k to 12.  Not five in each class, five total.  It's a rough time in that regard.  Thomas went to a picnic with his girlfriend, and then I needed to get him back.

I'll be honest, I was so tired, but I loved the time we had together to chat.  Thomas is so much like me.  He doesn't dislike being at school, but he does appreciate being home.  He loves being with the pets and with his family.  Dropping him off at school, while I know he isn't unhappy, pulls at my heart strings.  Big time.

In fact, the drive home felt like it took forever.  I was looking forward to getting home and having a quiet evening with just the two of us.  But as I pulled into our neighborhood, and I realized how drained I was from all of my emotions, and I realized just how quiet it was going to be this evening, I began to cry.  I miss the reasons our house has craziness.  It was just the emotions of the week catching up with me, and with two meetings this coming week and working at an athletic event, it will be another crazy week, especially with two trips for Catherine.  I don't want to wish away time.  Life seems too short as it is.  I've been blessed with some lovely downtime, and my life is full of amazing blessings.  I just couldn't help but think of 15 years ago.  I was exhausted with having little kids, but somehow things seemed easier.  The things we worried about with our kids didn't seem so life-altering.

My husband is amazing.  I haven't cooked in forever, and when he asked what was for dinner this evening, I replied, "popcorn."  He said, "You go!"  He knows I love popcorn, and it is what I need this evening.

Discharged

Catherine will eventually be discharged sometime tonight.  Poor kiddo, nothing is happening fast.  They ran a very complete series of tests, and everything is fine.  Physically, Catherine is fine.  Emotionally, she is not, and the challenging part is that she doesn't really realize it.  She needs to seek some mental health help, and we will be there every step of the way with her.  I am very convinced she will get through this.  Her official diagnosis is Conversion Disorder.  I am very grateful that they are sending her home, and I'm so grateful that everyone will get to spend the night in their own beds here.  It will be wonderful to have her home, and hopefully she can rest.  And even more hopefully, she can get herself together enough to at least go to classes on Monday.

It's ironic I had to make the drive on this date

Just a day over a year ago, I wrote about Catherine's breakup with a boyfriend.  What I didn't write about, was what happened exactly a year ago today.  I had sent a couple of texts throughout the evening, and she didn't respond.  Andrew was working at an athletic event and he didn't get home until after 9:00.  By then, I was frantic.  I decided I needed to drive to her apartment and make sure she was okay.  Andrew felt I was completely overreacting, but wasn't going to let me go by myself.  While I drove, he attempted to call campus police to have them check on her.  About half way there, in the middle of corn fields, Catherine called us to let us know she was okay.  I've never regretted setting out on that drive.

Today, I made the same drive with almost the same emotions.  Catherine began having seizures again, and went to the e/r.  Andrew went to be with her, and I stayed home with the dog.  I love my daughter, but I don't do well in medical environments, and I'll be honest, I'm a little irritated that she hasn't been doing everything she needs to do to take care of herself.  While they are nearly certain that, just like last time, there is no neurological cause, they have chosen to admit her and run some tests tomorrow.  Andrew needed his computer charger and comfy pants so I took them up to him.  I took our sweet pup along so that Andrew could see her, and he gave her a walk while I went in to see Catherine.  She is in good spirits and I'm convinced that if she starts making better choices she will be fine.

I came home and realized I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so I made myself a big bowl of popcorn and turned on the TV.  I smiled as I realized there a bunch of episodes of "Friends" on back-to-back.  For one thing, it is one of my favorite shows and I appreciate the mindless entertainment.  Additionally, it made me smile, because it made me think back to when this happened with Catherine two years ago.  I was concerned about leaving her alone at that point, and we put this show on because we can all enjoy it, just like we did six weeks ago when Rosie died.  Honestly, it brought me comfort.  I have tremendous faith that everything is going to be fine, and I'm grateful for that peace.

It's been a long day, and I'm so grateful to Andrew for not only being willing to take a day tomorrow and be with her, but for being able to do that without any problems.  And more than anything, I am grateful for my faith.

Tuesday in mid September

 The weeks seem to be passing so quickly.  I wish time could slow down a bit, but I guess it would slow down on the weekends, not so much the weeks. :)

Andrew had to work athletic events last night and tonight, he has a school board meeting Thursday and works the football game Friday evening.  Tomorrow I'll be spending some significant time at the church when I get off from school, and then I suspect I'll be doing church work at home tomorrow evening.  Friday I'll be making a trip to get Thomas to bring him home for Homecoming.  This eleven day stretch is the longest I've gone without seeing him.  I know this is a good thing, but it doesn't stop me from being emotional.  Catherine will also be home this weekend, and I love that we'll have a bit of togetherness again.

In fact, I've been a little ridiculously emotional about a lot of things today.  Seeing a cute pic of Thomas from middle school made my heart yearn.  Telling a coworker about something that happened 16 years ago that made me cry had me in tears all over again today.  I watched the end of the Apollo 13 movie and cried.  I know that I'm tired and there is a lot going on, and it's a transitional phase of life.  I'll be fine.

The weather has been gorgeous for these two days, although it will be getting warmer as the week goes along.  In fact, it's supposed to be nearly 90 on Saturday.  Ugh!!!!  I'll sure be glad when the real fall is here and sweatshirts are needed!

Sunday football memories

Today is the kickoff of the NFL season.  It's a very cloudy, dreary day in southwest Ohio.  As I've been watching the sights and sounds, I've realized how ingrained this is in my memories from childhood.  When I was in college, Sundays at home watching football was the thing I missed the most.  In my mind, it is just full of cozy memories.  Even though it is fairly warm outside, the cloudy skies help it to feel cozier inside.  With no one at home, the house is staying cleaner so a quick dust and pick up yesterday and then vacuum meant I didn't have much to worry about today.  I also told Andrew though, a Sunday like today also makes me miss the kids more.  I guess I just completely associate Sunday with being a family day.  I'm grateful for the memories, both recent and those from long ago.

A quiet Friday evening at home and the passing of the Queen

Yesterday Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain passed away.  She was 96, and although there had been some issues, I think she was mostly healthy until the very end.  Most of us discussed how sad it makes us, and I think it is because it is one of the very few constants that almost all of us have had in life.  A British coronation ceremony is something that hasn't happened in 70 years, and I'm sure it's a pretty impressive event.

I'm grateful for this quiet Friday evening.  It's been a month since this has been the case, because Thomas was home the last two Friday evenings, and before that we had Catherine's nursing induction.  Andrew is still doing football stats tonight, and honestly, a Friday evening alone is really what was needed.  Work has been absolutely insane.  We've been short staffed and I've even covered after school duties this week.  I'm always grateful for the opportunity for a little extra money, although with also working athletic events for some extra income (like I did on Tuesday) that makes for some really long days.  It's really hard to believe it was only a four day week!

Tomorrow Andrew has to work the JV football game, and then our plan is to take some naps, have some snack foods for dinner, and just hanging out.  Sunday will be church and the NFL opening games, and then next week is another crazy week.  Before that though, I intend to soak up the peace of this weekend!

Twelve years ago today was my first subbing job

It's hard to believe it was twelve years ago today that I had my very first sub job ever.  I loved it, and in fact, that specific job was one of my favorites ever.  High school French probably was my most favorite ever, but that year in Kindergarten would probably come in second.  I ended up being in the class over 30 days during the course of the year, and in fact was in so frequently that the parents began to know me and were comfortable asking me questions.  I was in so much that by the second half of the year, if the teacher became ill in the middle of the night and couldn't leave lesson plans, she didn't worry as long as I was her sub because I knew the routine so well.  I truly have wonderful memories of subbing in those early years.  It was such a great job to have to make sure I was on the exact same schedule as my kiddos, and it allowed me to still be so involved in their school.  Subbing was truly an amazing blessing in our lives, and I miss it tremendously.  I truly enjoyed my job and it fits into our lives so wonderfully right now as well.  And of course, the job where I was able to work with my father for over six years was absolutely amazing.  I am more grateful for all of this than I can even put into words.

It was a wonderful Labor Day weekend

I really loved this weekend, just as I thought I would.  The only downside to the weekend is that is has to end.

I think Thomas was a little bored this weekend.  His girlfriend wasn't allowed to see him at all, and another friend he texted wasn't available.  Hopefully that will make the fact that he is staying at school next weekend more appealing.

Saturday was a complete washout of a day with the weather.  It rained steadily all day, and that made the football on TV even more wonderful.  It was exactly the kind of Saturday I love having in the fall.  The only thing that could have made it better was if Notre Dame had beaten Ohio St (ugh, I hate when they play each other), but it was a wonderful day.

Yesterday we awoke to a large branch that had broken off our tree and was partially blocking our street.  The police had been called by a neighbor.  By the time we dealt with all of that we decided to watch our church service on TV.  I am always, always so grateful for our pastor and his messages.  I went to work a bit at church in the afternoon, and Catherine came home late afternoon.  We made tacos for dinner, and as always, I love hearing the sounds coming from my living room when the kids are together and bonding.  After dinner Andrew and I paid a short (and delightful) visit to a new neighbor, then we came home to watch a movie as a family.  It was not at all a great movie, but mindless and I knew we would chuckle and maybe even laugh...which we did.  I loved all of us sitting in the room together sharing those moments.  

This morning we all slept in, and then Andrew made breakfast.  Cooking is definitely his love language.  Thomas packed up his loads of laundry and other things to take back, and shortly afternoon we headed to my hometown.  We had a wonderful visit with my grandmother, and I know that she was so happy to see us.  We then took Thomas back to school, and it was nice for Catherine to be able to see how it all worked at his school.  She left to head back to her apartment when we got home, and Andrew and I had a quiet dinner of leftovers.

I'm a little melancholy this evening.  Not just that the house is so quiet again, but that the weekend is over.  I made the mistake of counting and realizing it will be 15 weeks before I have another Monday where I don't have to work.  I like my job, but I don't love getting up as early as I do.  Anyway, I loved having some noise around this weekend, and the weekend was full of so many blessings.  I feel peaceful this evening, which is a lovely way to begin another crazy week.

We have finally arrived at Labor Day weekend

I just looked at my clock, and my first thought was that it must have stopped.  How on earth is it only just after 9:00.  It definitely feels much, much later.  I only had to work until Noon today, but then I went and picked up Thomas for the weekend.  He tried to make some plans, but it didn't work out, so he's stuck at home this evening.  Andrew had to stat at the away football game, and I'm watching Michigan State play football.  I'm so grateful for an extra long weekend to catch up on some sleep and enjoy some family time! 

The first of September

It's been a long week.  Work continues to be just a bit crazy and adjusting to our new normal is also a bit draining.  While I do have to work tomorrow, it is only 1/2 day, and there are no students, and of course no work Monday.  I'm going to get Thomas tomorrow, and Catherine is planning to come and stay over Sunday evening.  We have plans to hang out and watch a movie.  I'm excited to have all of us under one roof for a night.  Not going to wish away the weekend though.  

And of course it is college football weekend!  This weekend has the BIG Notre Dame/OSU game.  You know what I love about this?  NOTHING!  Someone has to lose, and I'm not happy about that.  Of course I'll be rooting for the Irish, but I know they are the underdog.  The game is my big plan for Saturday evening though.  Tonight I'm watching Pitt/WVU, and I'll be flipping between that and Penn State/Purdue.  I LOVE that college football has returned!  I love so many games over Labor Day weekend!  I'm glad it's all arrived!