Not today

We had plans with friends this evening.  I love these friends with all of my heart, but I just can't today.  In fact, that is almost what I titled this post..."I can't today."  It's okay, because today I don't have to.  The last two weeks have been hard, and the four weeks before that weren't a piece of cake.  Starting the school year had challenges at my job.  We face the same staffing challenges of many places.  Andrew has worked a lot of athletic events, and I've added them to my schedule as well for some extra money for the kids.  Thomas had his roommate drama and adjusting to school, while Andrew and I are adjusting to empty nesting.  And then of course there is everything with Catherine, more than is for public knowledge.  It's been hard.

I had something every evening this week.  Yesterday's "thing" was handling a bank transaction that required an hour drive each way, and it was a Friday afternoon where I was the only admin staff working and there was some chaos.  I finally made it home just after 6:30, and was so grateful Andrew had thrown a quiche in the oven.  It was a piping hot meal on a chilly Friday evening, and it felt perfect.

As Andrew and I were sitting here last evening, I said to Andrew that it was so nice to be home and be, and he interrupted me by saying that's where the sentence ended.  It was nice to "just be."  And that is what I need this weekend and today.  I love my friends, but I am protecting my mental health.  The thought of going out this evening made me want to cry.  When I told Andrew, he understood completely.  In fact, he said that although he was looking forward to eating out, he didn't want to continue the evening beyond that and that isn't how we do things with these friends.  That's okay, but today, I just can't.