Last week was three completely normal days. We kept commenting on how much we can get done when we aren't worrying about the chaos that is ensuring around us. It was delightful. I think it's going to be a really good year.
This weekend was short, but full of some emotions. I'm working through photos, and I completely wrapped up all of 2017 and 2018. In those years, my aunt, my grandmother, and my father-in-law were still alive. We still had fabulously fun family gatherings. And we still had all three kids as part of our lives.
The part about Robert is weighing on me a bit. I would love to have a "family" ornament made with all of our names. But, it doesn't seem right to put him on it...and yet it doesn't seem right now to do so. What if he comes back one day and sees it? It feels complicated.
I went to see my grandmother yesterday. I only stayed about ten minutes. There is part of me that is so angry she is alive. I feel terrible for even thinking that. But she just lies in bed and does absolutely nothing. Visiting her is hard because there is no talking, and the TV isn't on so it's awkward to just sit there. She is so small and this just isn't my grandmother. The anniversary of my grandfather's passing was Friday, and there is part of me that thought she wouldn't make it through the weekend. I hate seeing her "living" like this, because it isn't living.
We have five full days this week, but our evenings are fairly unscheduled. Next weekend I am not making a trip to my mom's house, and then I'll only work four days the following week. We were even able to turn off our a/c this evening. I am so ready for cooler weather!
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