Friday, August 9, 2013
Update on the ups and downs
Well, it turns out that perhaps the fact that the movers canceled for the 17th isn't such a bad thing, as I've just learned that our closing is not yet confirmed for the 14th. Really? Five days away and it isn't yet confirmed? We aren't talking about a dentist appointment that can easily be reworked...we are talking about a MAJOR event. In fact, I'm pretty sure the sellers plan to be living in New York by the original date of the 19th. I'm absolutely, without any doubt, NOT cut out for this moving thing!
Ups and downs
This has been one roller coaster of a week! In fact, in the 30 minutes I've been awake this morning, it's been a heck of a ride already!
Yesterday Andrew made the moving arrangements for us to move next Saturday. We were all very excited because it meant we would be in the house for school starting which just a week ago we didn't even think was a possibility. It was the moving company I'd really wanted to use because everyone I've ever known used them, and after saying it would be September, they called back and rearranged things to get us in. Unfortunately, we received another phone call this morning from someone else saying that there was just no way they could work us in next weekend. I was so disappointed, but it's not the end of the world and we'll figure something out.
But the very big "UP" of the day...my mom called and she had just talked to Dad. He is feeling much better and they expect him to be sent home from the hospital tomorrow. Honestly, knowing that trumps pretty much anything else happening in life right now!
Yesterday Andrew made the moving arrangements for us to move next Saturday. We were all very excited because it meant we would be in the house for school starting which just a week ago we didn't even think was a possibility. It was the moving company I'd really wanted to use because everyone I've ever known used them, and after saying it would be September, they called back and rearranged things to get us in. Unfortunately, we received another phone call this morning from someone else saying that there was just no way they could work us in next weekend. I was so disappointed, but it's not the end of the world and we'll figure something out.
But the very big "UP" of the day...my mom called and she had just talked to Dad. He is feeling much better and they expect him to be sent home from the hospital tomorrow. Honestly, knowing that trumps pretty much anything else happening in life right now!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Dinner with a friend
I had dinner last evening with a friend I had literally not spent time with since January. We used to run into each other at various kids' activities and school events, but as the kids have become older that changed and we each had our own very busy schedules. However, I've been pretty full of anxiety lately, and Amanda is not only a very good friend with whom to chat, but also a very healthy person and I knew that she would have advice. In all honesty, it might have been the very first time EVER that she and I did something just the two of us. I had never truly realized how very much alike we are. I was cracking up at the way she would react to a story I was telling her because it was the exact reaction I'd had. I am rarely a person who asks for "girl time" and Amanda is well aware of that...which is exactly why I knew she would come to my rescue. I so desperately needed an evening of laughter and fun and relaxation...and that was exactly what I got!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Officially enrolled
The kids are officially enrolled at the new school. With Catherine, we have familiarity since Robert attended there last year and will be there again with Catherine. I still love the fact that we know the principals, and Andrew even requested teachers he knows (which he can do since he teaches in the district). I have some concerns about Catherine having some of the academic supports that she is going to need, but we'll see how it works out. At Thomas's school, everything is brand new to us, although my aunt did teach at the school for years prior to her retirement, but that was nearly nine years ago now. We also know not only the principal at Thomas's new school, but the principal's entire family. It was very nice to be recognized myself and not just having someone recognize Andrew! Anyway, both kids were able to meet their new principals and walk around their new buildings and we are all getting very excited!
On the downside, I arrived home to another phone call from my mother that Dad has been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. This situation seems to be less of an emergency than Saturday night, but I also realize that it's clearly a deterioration of his condition. Mom expects him to be admitted this time, but I'll know more later.
On the downside, I arrived home to another phone call from my mother that Dad has been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. This situation seems to be less of an emergency than Saturday night, but I also realize that it's clearly a deterioration of his condition. Mom expects him to be admitted this time, but I'll know more later.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Apparently baseball and friendship don't mix
I've written before about our displeasure with this baseball season. As I've said to Andrew, perhaps we were naive about select ball. We made an apparently incorrect assumption that the boys would still be developed as players...instead it was a "win at all cost" mentality. My husband even mentioned that perhaps that is why he was never a hugely successful freshmen football coach. He believed, even at the freshmen high school level, that everyone should play at least a little, even if it meant the "best team" wasn't always on the field. He acknowledges that varsity is different...that should be about winning, but he felt his job at the freshmen level was developing players...all of his players.
We received a call from another parent on the team Thursday morning while we were on vacation. He was upset and wanted to know why the team had played in a weekend tournament and his son had not been included. He had tried reaching the head coach more than once but had never heard back from him. My husband had no idea what this parent was talking about and was a little shocked by it. I should also mention that Robert and this other child were clearly the two weakest players on the team. Andrew explained the conversation to me when he got off the phone, and immediately I knew...this was the end of the friendship. I explained to Andrew that while a bunch of us had gone to dinner after the last game of the season, one of the parents had mentioned to the head coach (who, if you will remember, refers to Andrew as his best friend) that they would be available on those dates. I noticed the blood drained from the head coach's face and that was the end of the discussion. I said nothing and simply filed it away in my memory...and that "file" jumped front and center when my husband told me about the conversation. I had no doubt that the team had played in a tournament, and that these two players and my husband, an assistant coach, had been purposely excluded. And the fact that the head coach's wife never even mentioned anything in passing made me pretty certain it was intended that we would never find out.
When we arrived home Saturday evening, there was an email from the head coach to all of the players about try outs that are happening this coming weekend. Again, my husband is supposedly an assistant coach, and he knew nothing at all about this. Obviously whether or not Andrew could be there to help with evaluations and selecting the team meant nothing to the coach. We learned about it just like everyone else, and I was pretty sure it was another way to "weed out" the weaker players.
Andrew called the coach yesterday, and it was apparent by the coach's jovial attitude in the beginning that he had no idea we were upset. Andrew asked him about the tournament and he responded that it happened when we left for vacation so he knew we wouldn't be interested. My husband pointed out that as an assistant coach, he still should've been informed, and asked how does that explain about the other boy? The coach then said that he had taken his best ten players statistically and others he had picked up for this tournament...clearly indicating that he had no interest in the two excluded players attending. Andrew then asked about the tryouts...if he is still a coach why wasn't he involved in the planning of the tryouts? The coach responded that Andrew hadn't been around much and he needed to move forward. Not around much? Other than the last week, we've been here and the coach's family was the one that took a two week vacation. And it's not like this man has ever been shy about contacting us on our cell phones. He simply didn't care, and basically said so when his statement to Andrew was that he didn't have time to deal with this...this wasn't a priority. Andrew responded, "Okay. We'll talk about his later. Maybe." and that was the end of the conversation.
I think it is so sad that this man became so focused on putting together the perfect team to win that he was willing to risk, and ultimately lose, a friendship that had once been so close. We've vacationed and celebrated holidays and special occasions with them, but that is very unlikely to happen again. I'm not sure how to feel about his wife because I feel she was involved in being part of the cover up to make sure we didn't know what was happening. Maybe I shouldn't let this drama get to me, but honestly I thought I had reached adulthood, where friends didn't treat friends this way. Some might feel that we are over reacting because we are moving anyway and weren't planning to return to the team next spring, and had Andrew "just" been an assistant coach and not a friend, we would probably feel differently.
As you can imagine, this ridiculous drama, along with my dad's health and impending move (and two house payments...keep mentioning that don't I?) is playing havoc with my nerves. I know that overall we are very, very, very blessed that we are able to afford to do what we are doing, and that all of this is going to work out and life goes on. I'm very grateful I have an absolutely amazing husband who stands up for what he thinks is right, and who stands up for our children. We are all so very lucky!
We received a call from another parent on the team Thursday morning while we were on vacation. He was upset and wanted to know why the team had played in a weekend tournament and his son had not been included. He had tried reaching the head coach more than once but had never heard back from him. My husband had no idea what this parent was talking about and was a little shocked by it. I should also mention that Robert and this other child were clearly the two weakest players on the team. Andrew explained the conversation to me when he got off the phone, and immediately I knew...this was the end of the friendship. I explained to Andrew that while a bunch of us had gone to dinner after the last game of the season, one of the parents had mentioned to the head coach (who, if you will remember, refers to Andrew as his best friend) that they would be available on those dates. I noticed the blood drained from the head coach's face and that was the end of the discussion. I said nothing and simply filed it away in my memory...and that "file" jumped front and center when my husband told me about the conversation. I had no doubt that the team had played in a tournament, and that these two players and my husband, an assistant coach, had been purposely excluded. And the fact that the head coach's wife never even mentioned anything in passing made me pretty certain it was intended that we would never find out.
When we arrived home Saturday evening, there was an email from the head coach to all of the players about try outs that are happening this coming weekend. Again, my husband is supposedly an assistant coach, and he knew nothing at all about this. Obviously whether or not Andrew could be there to help with evaluations and selecting the team meant nothing to the coach. We learned about it just like everyone else, and I was pretty sure it was another way to "weed out" the weaker players.
Andrew called the coach yesterday, and it was apparent by the coach's jovial attitude in the beginning that he had no idea we were upset. Andrew asked him about the tournament and he responded that it happened when we left for vacation so he knew we wouldn't be interested. My husband pointed out that as an assistant coach, he still should've been informed, and asked how does that explain about the other boy? The coach then said that he had taken his best ten players statistically and others he had picked up for this tournament...clearly indicating that he had no interest in the two excluded players attending. Andrew then asked about the tryouts...if he is still a coach why wasn't he involved in the planning of the tryouts? The coach responded that Andrew hadn't been around much and he needed to move forward. Not around much? Other than the last week, we've been here and the coach's family was the one that took a two week vacation. And it's not like this man has ever been shy about contacting us on our cell phones. He simply didn't care, and basically said so when his statement to Andrew was that he didn't have time to deal with this...this wasn't a priority. Andrew responded, "Okay. We'll talk about his later. Maybe." and that was the end of the conversation.
I think it is so sad that this man became so focused on putting together the perfect team to win that he was willing to risk, and ultimately lose, a friendship that had once been so close. We've vacationed and celebrated holidays and special occasions with them, but that is very unlikely to happen again. I'm not sure how to feel about his wife because I feel she was involved in being part of the cover up to make sure we didn't know what was happening. Maybe I shouldn't let this drama get to me, but honestly I thought I had reached adulthood, where friends didn't treat friends this way. Some might feel that we are over reacting because we are moving anyway and weren't planning to return to the team next spring, and had Andrew "just" been an assistant coach and not a friend, we would probably feel differently.
As you can imagine, this ridiculous drama, along with my dad's health and impending move (and two house payments...keep mentioning that don't I?) is playing havoc with my nerves. I know that overall we are very, very, very blessed that we are able to afford to do what we are doing, and that all of this is going to work out and life goes on. I'm very grateful I have an absolutely amazing husband who stands up for what he thinks is right, and who stands up for our children. We are all so very lucky!
Vacation recap
Our vacation was absolutely wonderful, but also very stressful...I'm not even sure I know where to begin with the stories! I apologize, but this is probably a longer post than anyone wants to read.
Before we left, I knew my father was deteriorating. He'd had an appointment earlier in the week before we left with his pulmonologist who changed some of his meds and ran some tests. The test results indicated it was a heart issue. I made sure to see him before we left, but he couldn't get out of bed to visit with me, and didn't want the kids to see him like that. I'll be honest, I was afraid he wasn't going to be here when we returned. I talked to Mom while we were down in SC. Dad had a cardiologist appointment and they also changed some of his meds hoping to help with his energy levels. However, while he was in the e/r Saturday night they restored all of the original meds removed by both doctors, so we aren't really certain where things stand. They did send Dad home in the middle of the night, and while my mom was pretty tired and grumpy from the overnight e/r experience, she did report that Dad seemed to be feeling better.
Anyway, our trip to the beach consisted of rain. It rained. The. Entire. Trip. It was awful. There were SEVERAL hours of the trip where we couldn't even go the posted legal speed limit because it was raining too hard for that to be safe. There were even times when we had to slow down and use our hazard lights because it was raining so hard. It made for a tough travel day, but at the end of the day we were rewarded by arriving at our beach front condo! My in-laws had a glass of wine waiting and it was worth the trip!
Sunday found us heading to church, then we enjoyed some beach time. We used tons of sun screen on the trip and because we had taken beach umbrellas and a pop up tent, I was able to enjoy being down at the ocean and then retreating to the sand. Robert was allowed some freedom on the beach but given boundaries and rules. Catherine and Thomas were quite content to hang out near us, and Thomas was even quite content just to dig in the sand much of the time, although he enjoyed the water as well. And of course the best part of any vacation is eating out...and fresh seafood is soooo good! Dinner was often the favorite part of each day for me!
On Monday, my in-laws took Robert to hit golf balls while we took the younger two mini golfing. It wasn't crowded and we had paid the unlimited amount so we were able to do 36 holes. That was finished off by ice cream and we enjoyed an early bird dinner. While we were in the restaurant, it began to absolutely pour outside. The family at the table next to us began to get dripped on by roof leaks, and by the end of our meal there was an all out waterfall happening at the table next to us. Lots of road flooding, but we made it home safely and it was an inside evening for all!
Tuesday we hit the beach mid-morning and then again in the afternoon. Our in-laws volunteered to take the kids for dinner so we could have an evening to ourselves. We hit our favorite steak restaurant and did some shopping, and then enjoyed the views and sounds of the ocean from the porch when we returned.
So the first three days were pretty good. Then Wednesday hit...we decided that due to some skin showing signs of sunburn, it wasn't a good beach day. Not that it would have mattered since it rained most of the day! Andrew's parents mentioned a shopping spot where there was an awesome candy store and some great ice cream. While this was true, there was also TONS of EXPENSIVE amusement adventures. We felt so badly having to tell the kids "no" to everything, but paying over $100 to spend an hour inside this funny looking building of amusements was not part of the plan. A $65 four-minute speed boat ride wasn't on the agenda either. So we quickly decided we had made a mistake, loaded everyone up (after hitting candy store and ice cream) and headed to the much more affordable arcade. We brought dinner in the evening because the Pirates/Cardinals game was on ESPN and we wanted to catch that. We had also realized when we arrived that we didn't have Internet access at the condo. I was able to check my email on my father-in-law's little phone and found out that drama had developed in my children's lives again (sorry, I won't go into details for privacy) and that there was info needed from us to move forward on our new mortgage...info which could only be retrieved from home! I quickly began wishing I hadn't even checked our email and had left well enough alone.
Thursday we received a phone call from another baseball parent. I'll write more about that in another post, but it really ramped up the stress level...big time. We spent more time at the beach and Andrew's parents joined us this time. Dinner was another fabulous seafood meal, and after dinner was another lovely evening on the porch watching and listening to the ocean!
Andrew's parents had decided to leave Friday because it was going to be easier for them. We had an ocean front breakfast and then said our good-byes. We spent the day at the ocean again and had a blast. It was really truly very nice having an ocean front condo. Andrew would've had a very tough time getting tents and umbrellas to the beach if we'd had to walk any great distance, and I wouldn't have been able to be there if they hadn't been there. We decided to take the kids to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Thomas had a meltdown at dinner and he and I spent the end of dinner in the van. Not exactly the way I wanted to end our vacation. We had hoped to walk along the beach again that evening, but it rained AGAIN.
Saturday's drive home was fairly uneventful, and Andrew and I even shared a few laughs about things as we drove. We were home in time for the kids to watch the season premier of "Too Cute" which was Catherine's goal for the day. That's also when I received a phone call from Mom about Dad, so while it was wonderful to get away and have a break, it definitely had some stress.
And now, school starts in two weeks and we are supposed to get our selves moved into a new house. Lots going on!
Before we left, I knew my father was deteriorating. He'd had an appointment earlier in the week before we left with his pulmonologist who changed some of his meds and ran some tests. The test results indicated it was a heart issue. I made sure to see him before we left, but he couldn't get out of bed to visit with me, and didn't want the kids to see him like that. I'll be honest, I was afraid he wasn't going to be here when we returned. I talked to Mom while we were down in SC. Dad had a cardiologist appointment and they also changed some of his meds hoping to help with his energy levels. However, while he was in the e/r Saturday night they restored all of the original meds removed by both doctors, so we aren't really certain where things stand. They did send Dad home in the middle of the night, and while my mom was pretty tired and grumpy from the overnight e/r experience, she did report that Dad seemed to be feeling better.
Anyway, our trip to the beach consisted of rain. It rained. The. Entire. Trip. It was awful. There were SEVERAL hours of the trip where we couldn't even go the posted legal speed limit because it was raining too hard for that to be safe. There were even times when we had to slow down and use our hazard lights because it was raining so hard. It made for a tough travel day, but at the end of the day we were rewarded by arriving at our beach front condo! My in-laws had a glass of wine waiting and it was worth the trip!
Sunday found us heading to church, then we enjoyed some beach time. We used tons of sun screen on the trip and because we had taken beach umbrellas and a pop up tent, I was able to enjoy being down at the ocean and then retreating to the sand. Robert was allowed some freedom on the beach but given boundaries and rules. Catherine and Thomas were quite content to hang out near us, and Thomas was even quite content just to dig in the sand much of the time, although he enjoyed the water as well. And of course the best part of any vacation is eating out...and fresh seafood is soooo good! Dinner was often the favorite part of each day for me!
On Monday, my in-laws took Robert to hit golf balls while we took the younger two mini golfing. It wasn't crowded and we had paid the unlimited amount so we were able to do 36 holes. That was finished off by ice cream and we enjoyed an early bird dinner. While we were in the restaurant, it began to absolutely pour outside. The family at the table next to us began to get dripped on by roof leaks, and by the end of our meal there was an all out waterfall happening at the table next to us. Lots of road flooding, but we made it home safely and it was an inside evening for all!
Tuesday we hit the beach mid-morning and then again in the afternoon. Our in-laws volunteered to take the kids for dinner so we could have an evening to ourselves. We hit our favorite steak restaurant and did some shopping, and then enjoyed the views and sounds of the ocean from the porch when we returned.
So the first three days were pretty good. Then Wednesday hit...we decided that due to some skin showing signs of sunburn, it wasn't a good beach day. Not that it would have mattered since it rained most of the day! Andrew's parents mentioned a shopping spot where there was an awesome candy store and some great ice cream. While this was true, there was also TONS of EXPENSIVE amusement adventures. We felt so badly having to tell the kids "no" to everything, but paying over $100 to spend an hour inside this funny looking building of amusements was not part of the plan. A $65 four-minute speed boat ride wasn't on the agenda either. So we quickly decided we had made a mistake, loaded everyone up (after hitting candy store and ice cream) and headed to the much more affordable arcade. We brought dinner in the evening because the Pirates/Cardinals game was on ESPN and we wanted to catch that. We had also realized when we arrived that we didn't have Internet access at the condo. I was able to check my email on my father-in-law's little phone and found out that drama had developed in my children's lives again (sorry, I won't go into details for privacy) and that there was info needed from us to move forward on our new mortgage...info which could only be retrieved from home! I quickly began wishing I hadn't even checked our email and had left well enough alone.
Thursday we received a phone call from another baseball parent. I'll write more about that in another post, but it really ramped up the stress level...big time. We spent more time at the beach and Andrew's parents joined us this time. Dinner was another fabulous seafood meal, and after dinner was another lovely evening on the porch watching and listening to the ocean!
Andrew's parents had decided to leave Friday because it was going to be easier for them. We had an ocean front breakfast and then said our good-byes. We spent the day at the ocean again and had a blast. It was really truly very nice having an ocean front condo. Andrew would've had a very tough time getting tents and umbrellas to the beach if we'd had to walk any great distance, and I wouldn't have been able to be there if they hadn't been there. We decided to take the kids to Planet Hollywood for dinner. Thomas had a meltdown at dinner and he and I spent the end of dinner in the van. Not exactly the way I wanted to end our vacation. We had hoped to walk along the beach again that evening, but it rained AGAIN.
Saturday's drive home was fairly uneventful, and Andrew and I even shared a few laughs about things as we drove. We were home in time for the kids to watch the season premier of "Too Cute" which was Catherine's goal for the day. That's also when I received a phone call from Mom about Dad, so while it was wonderful to get away and have a break, it definitely had some stress.
And now, school starts in two weeks and we are supposed to get our selves moved into a new house. Lots going on!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Reality stinks
We have just returned from a wonderful week at Myrtle Beach with my in-laws. We had a terrific time, but I'll be honest, the timing of it kind of wasn't so good. There was a lot of drama happening at home, that I just wasn't able to cope with being so far from home (and without internet access). About 30 minutes ago I received a call from my mother that my father had been taken to the e/r in an ambulance. Reality definitely smacked me in the face upon returning home this evening!
Hopefully I'll be back before too long to recap our wonderful week at the beach!
Hopefully I'll be back before too long to recap our wonderful week at the beach!
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