Yesterday I had to run some errands and one of my stops was at Thomas's school. I needed to update some information and also to try to figure out how the lunch account system works. I'll be honest, it truly does bother me that I don't yet understand how everything works when it comes to the kids' schools. I'm not a hover parent by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like to have a clue! Anyway, the secretary mentioned I could go ahead and take my check down to the lunch room (of course I had to ask how to get there) and I was absolutely thrilled to walk in and there was my little guy. We were both surprised, and I walked over to say hello. He introduced me to some of his new friends at the table, and then I took care of the money part. I said good bye on my way out with another high five and I walked down the hall...where I then began to cry.
And I couldn't stop crying. It was a somewhat selfish thought process. I walk into that school and I'm absolutely no one. I still have to show my ID and explain who I am. With the exception of very, very few, no one there knows me. Yesterday I literally ached for what I had left behind...a job that I absolutely loved where I was respected. Last year I could pretty much tell you exactly where Catherine and Thomas were at any time during the day...I knew almost exactly how it all worked. I miss the people with whom I worked and those adorable kids...even the ones that drove me crazy! Andrew keeps reminding me that I'll probably be back at work after the first of the year, but I also know it isn't going to be the same. I'm not saying it can't still be as good, but it's not going to be the same. In all of the chaos of the month of August, I realize that I didn't really have time to grieve what I would be giving up, and "grieving" is not too strong of a word. As I've said all along, this is still a wonderful decision for our family, and while I expected there would be tough days, I don't think Andrew completely realized how hard this would be for me or what I was giving up personally. I have no regrets about our decision, but some days are just tougher than others. I didn't expect something as simple as paying into a lunch account to set off set a flurry of tears, but I guess that is one of the things about grief. You never know what's going to set it off!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Another Personal Best
This weekend Robert ran in his third cross country race, but before I discuss his race, let me tell you about the meet itself. This particular meet was held about 20 minutes from my hometown and about 20 minutes from where we used to live. My family had decided to come for Robert's 10:20 race, and I figured by 11:30 I would be at our old house and would have all day to work...a rarity these days!
The race was being held in a large park in a small town. As soon as I got off the interstate, I knew there were problems...the park was out of room for vehicles. Knowing how large this park was, I was concerned about the vast number of participants. I called my mom and explained the alternate parking situation, and was grateful to hear my father had not joined her. She was only bringing Grandma, and my sister was already there. After a bit, I was able to locate my sister who informed me that apparently several races had been added. I found the "team mom" who said apparently the organizers decided they had too many teams (UGH!) and decided to add high school races to break down the number of participants. This meant Robert's race wasn't even scheduled to begin until 11:30, and by 10AM they were already behind schedule. My mom didn't feel she could be away from my dad that long, and I understood. My sister wanted to attend a cousin's soccer game, so in the end no one other than myself and Catherine were there for the actual race. When the middle school race started, I was concerned about the number of participants for the narrow lane that had been cleared, and sure enough, several runners tripped over each other at the start. I was so irritated by the entire lack of organization for this event! Enough about the meet though...
Robert's goal for the week was 15:00. After cutting over two minutes off from week one to week two, I thought perhaps cutting another 1:40 off was a little too ambitious. I positioned myself about 30 yards from the finish line and waited. I was SO excited when he came into view and it wasn't yet 14 minutes into the race. He kicked it into high gear again, and finished very strong with a time of 14:34. I was so excited! He had cut over four minutes off in just two weeks! I was so proud that I cried!
This week Andrew's parents will be visiting and we have another meet. This one is quite a distance, but I'm looking forward to seeing how he does!
The race was being held in a large park in a small town. As soon as I got off the interstate, I knew there were problems...the park was out of room for vehicles. Knowing how large this park was, I was concerned about the vast number of participants. I called my mom and explained the alternate parking situation, and was grateful to hear my father had not joined her. She was only bringing Grandma, and my sister was already there. After a bit, I was able to locate my sister who informed me that apparently several races had been added. I found the "team mom" who said apparently the organizers decided they had too many teams (UGH!) and decided to add high school races to break down the number of participants. This meant Robert's race wasn't even scheduled to begin until 11:30, and by 10AM they were already behind schedule. My mom didn't feel she could be away from my dad that long, and I understood. My sister wanted to attend a cousin's soccer game, so in the end no one other than myself and Catherine were there for the actual race. When the middle school race started, I was concerned about the number of participants for the narrow lane that had been cleared, and sure enough, several runners tripped over each other at the start. I was so irritated by the entire lack of organization for this event! Enough about the meet though...
Robert's goal for the week was 15:00. After cutting over two minutes off from week one to week two, I thought perhaps cutting another 1:40 off was a little too ambitious. I positioned myself about 30 yards from the finish line and waited. I was SO excited when he came into view and it wasn't yet 14 minutes into the race. He kicked it into high gear again, and finished very strong with a time of 14:34. I was so excited! He had cut over four minutes off in just two weeks! I was so proud that I cried!
This week Andrew's parents will be visiting and we have another meet. This one is quite a distance, but I'm looking forward to seeing how he does!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Another busy weekend
Our weekends are jam packed right now, but I know things will settle. Last week I spent every day at our old house (that's probably a post in itself) so after Catherine got off the bus we were off to the grocery. Two rather unpleasant hours later (thanks to unhelpful staff at particular grocery) we made it home. Andrew had to work at the football game, and the kids understood I was beyond exhausted so everyone was happy with cereal or whatever they could find for dinner. Honestly, they were actually thrilled with it that way, and it made me glad we had picked up a couple of treats that I don't normally purchase. Anyway, Thomas and Andrew were going camping with scouts bright and early Saturday so we (let's be serious, mostly "I') got things together and ready to go. First thing Saturday I dropped Robert off at school to catch the cross country bus and when I returned the others were off to scouts. It's only 8AM on Saturday folks!
Catherine and I pack clothes and coolers because the cross country meet is near our old house and we are planning to spend the day working there after the meet. We ended up spending several hours at the cross country meet (another post as well!) and finally made it to the house around lunch. I chowed down on some food and got to work! We had taken a small TV and DVD player and Robert and Catherine were able to entertain themselves with electronics for the afternoon...and they loved it of course! After MANY hours of painting we headed back to our new house and after a much needed shower I settled in to watch the Notre Dame game. Didn't go as I had hoped, but it was a nice way to spend the evening.
Yesterday I was able to sleep in for a bit...so grateful! I spent the day unpacking and organizing some more. It just feels some days like I'm getting no where...just moving things from box to box. My in-laws arrive on Friday though, so I better get my act together. I'm staying away from the old house just for today so I can have another full day working here.
Time to get Thomas up for school...here we go again!
Catherine and I pack clothes and coolers because the cross country meet is near our old house and we are planning to spend the day working there after the meet. We ended up spending several hours at the cross country meet (another post as well!) and finally made it to the house around lunch. I chowed down on some food and got to work! We had taken a small TV and DVD player and Robert and Catherine were able to entertain themselves with electronics for the afternoon...and they loved it of course! After MANY hours of painting we headed back to our new house and after a much needed shower I settled in to watch the Notre Dame game. Didn't go as I had hoped, but it was a nice way to spend the evening.
Yesterday I was able to sleep in for a bit...so grateful! I spent the day unpacking and organizing some more. It just feels some days like I'm getting no where...just moving things from box to box. My in-laws arrive on Friday though, so I better get my act together. I'm staying away from the old house just for today so I can have another full day working here.
Time to get Thomas up for school...here we go again!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Yesterday's favorite moment
Catherine's favorite thing to do each day is to get her brother off the bus. I think she sees it as an additional responsibility and in some ways it is. I'm always on the porch watching though, at least for now. And because I was watching, I got to witness a beautiful moment. Thomas ran off the bus and wrapped his arms around his sister in a big bear hug. They then walked all the way back to our house arm-in-arm, smiling, chatting, and giggling the entire way. I love moments like that!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Back to school blues
In spite of the fact that my children are in their third week of school, I have the "back to school blues" and am fighting tears. Our old school district begins today, and my sadness isn't for my kids, it is selfishly for me. My kids love their schools here, and I'm very glad they are here. I am so very sad about all of the people at the old school that I'm going to miss. I very much miss the teachers who had become my friends, and I very, very much miss all of those awesome kids! I guess it's kind of like a reality check. Life there is going on without us (well, yeah!) and I just feel a little lost. I told Andrew from the beginning that while I had no doubts this was the best move for our family, for me personally it meant giving up a great deal. And I was okay with it because I know with certainty this was a move our family needed to make...but today I'm just a little sad about what I left behind.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Labor Day weekend
Unlike Memorial Day weekend where there have always been many traditions, Labor Day weekend has never really had any. There have been many years though, where I've been lamenting the fact that school is beginning again, and times I've been even down right sad about it. This year though, the kids already have two full weeks in, and it's a wonderful weekend because it feels like a BREAK...a very much needed break!
Thomas was able to spend most of the weekend with my sister and she took him to the Notre Dame victory over Temple on Saturday. How awesome is that? He had a blast. Andrew and I had a date night Saturday evening since it was just the older two. We stayed here in town and I was comfortable leaving them. We dined at a nice restaurant where I knew college students would NOT be...that was my primary goal. It was a little pricey, but I so desperately needed an evening with just Andrew to get away and not feel guilty about all the work that needs done at both houses.
Last evening was my favorite part of the weekend (besides sleeping in this morning). My best friend hosted our group of friends, and almost everyone of our group was there. There were a couple of spouses unable to attend, but we took a group picture and I'm so grateful to have a record of the evening. These people are the dearest friends I'll ever have in life, and I'm so very grateful for each of them.
Today is another unpacking/arranging day, and Robert has practice this evening. Hopefully we are no longer living in chaos soon!
Thomas was able to spend most of the weekend with my sister and she took him to the Notre Dame victory over Temple on Saturday. How awesome is that? He had a blast. Andrew and I had a date night Saturday evening since it was just the older two. We stayed here in town and I was comfortable leaving them. We dined at a nice restaurant where I knew college students would NOT be...that was my primary goal. It was a little pricey, but I so desperately needed an evening with just Andrew to get away and not feel guilty about all the work that needs done at both houses.
Last evening was my favorite part of the weekend (besides sleeping in this morning). My best friend hosted our group of friends, and almost everyone of our group was there. There were a couple of spouses unable to attend, but we took a group picture and I'm so grateful to have a record of the evening. These people are the dearest friends I'll ever have in life, and I'm so very grateful for each of them.
Today is another unpacking/arranging day, and Robert has practice this evening. Hopefully we are no longer living in chaos soon!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Cross country
Robert is running cross country this year. Moving here has made the fact that his practice schedule is all over the place much more tolerable. Anyway, we are very new to this sport, although my dad ran it in high school and enjoyed it, and has been helpful with info. The coaches of Robert's cross country team are very laid back. This is both good and bad. It's good in that whatever happens is what happens, but it's not so good in that they are NOT detail oriented people and I'm trying not to let that drive me nuts. I just don't handle "last minute everything" as well as others!
Yesterday was Robert's second meet. The first was last Friday. I'll be honest, I'm still a mom, and I was a mess! I wanted my child to succeed because I wanted him to feel the great power of success! As I'm watching child after child cross the finish line and seeing no sign of Robert, I began to tear up and worry...I was afraid he had passed out on the course somewhere (yes, worst case scenario is always my first thought). Finally, about 2/3 or 3/4 into the finishers, we see this young man in an absolute dead sprint. We watched Robert zoom by to the finish line, passing no fewer than ten other finishers in the last 200 yards. We were absolutely amused by his strong finish after watching others who practically had their tongues hanging out. We asked him about it and he said he wanted to be able to finish strong. We chuckled and informed him that perhaps he could go a little stronger during the race...maybe he saved a little too much for the end. His time was 18:50 and of course each week the goal is to improve on the personal time.
Yesterday was a much smaller race. The weather was awful in terms of humidity. It's been a long time since I've experienced air that thick and heavy. This race also had more terrain than the very flat race of the week before. Robert changed his strategy and flew out at the beginning. In fact, he was in 6th place at the first viewing spot. I was very concerned that he was over compensating for the previous week. While he still finished later in the race, his time this week was 16:40...he had cut over two full minutes off his time! We are having so much fun watching the races and Robert is truly enjoying himself. Catherine has already announced that she wants to run next year. It's all going very well!
Yesterday was Robert's second meet. The first was last Friday. I'll be honest, I'm still a mom, and I was a mess! I wanted my child to succeed because I wanted him to feel the great power of success! As I'm watching child after child cross the finish line and seeing no sign of Robert, I began to tear up and worry...I was afraid he had passed out on the course somewhere (yes, worst case scenario is always my first thought). Finally, about 2/3 or 3/4 into the finishers, we see this young man in an absolute dead sprint. We watched Robert zoom by to the finish line, passing no fewer than ten other finishers in the last 200 yards. We were absolutely amused by his strong finish after watching others who practically had their tongues hanging out. We asked him about it and he said he wanted to be able to finish strong. We chuckled and informed him that perhaps he could go a little stronger during the race...maybe he saved a little too much for the end. His time was 18:50 and of course each week the goal is to improve on the personal time.
Yesterday was a much smaller race. The weather was awful in terms of humidity. It's been a long time since I've experienced air that thick and heavy. This race also had more terrain than the very flat race of the week before. Robert changed his strategy and flew out at the beginning. In fact, he was in 6th place at the first viewing spot. I was very concerned that he was over compensating for the previous week. While he still finished later in the race, his time this week was 16:40...he had cut over two full minutes off his time! We are having so much fun watching the races and Robert is truly enjoying himself. Catherine has already announced that she wants to run next year. It's all going very well!
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