Monday, June 30, 2014
Leaving for the capital
Very soon we are headed out for this year's vacation...to our state capital. Even though it is only three days and we aren't going very far, it is yet another example of how things just seem to work out. An entire week hundreds of miles away at the ocean would not have been an option this year, but I'm comfortable being gone for just a few days, and it's only about an hour from my mom. We have a few plans, but honestly, I am just going to relax and enjoy our time...if that means hanging out for hours at the pool, that is okay with me at this point!
Friday, June 27, 2014
The end of yet another week
As always, summer is flying by. More than anything this summer, I am trying to cherish the memories we are making each day. Even now, with the kids' activity schedules I am recognizing the scarcity of fun family time, and I know my days of parenting 24/7 are dwindling.
I am cautiously optimistic this is the end of the really tough weeks. Mom finished her radiation on Wednesday, and even today she is doing better than yesterday. I stayed overnight with her last night, drove home this afternoon for about 18 hours, and then will be back tomorrow morning and stay again overnight. Not only can it be mentally draining when Mom is having a rough day, but the nights I've stayed I am averaging less than four hours of sleep so it is pretty physically draining as well. Even though I am exhausted when I get home, I want to spend the afternoons with the kids rather than napping, especially when I have to turn around and be gone again tomorrow. Next week though, is our three day vacation to Columbus and I am VERY much looking forward to fun family time and making memories!
I am cautiously optimistic this is the end of the really tough weeks. Mom finished her radiation on Wednesday, and even today she is doing better than yesterday. I stayed overnight with her last night, drove home this afternoon for about 18 hours, and then will be back tomorrow morning and stay again overnight. Not only can it be mentally draining when Mom is having a rough day, but the nights I've stayed I am averaging less than four hours of sleep so it is pretty physically draining as well. Even though I am exhausted when I get home, I want to spend the afternoons with the kids rather than napping, especially when I have to turn around and be gone again tomorrow. Next week though, is our three day vacation to Columbus and I am VERY much looking forward to fun family time and making memories!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Days like this are why I love summer
The last couple of days are exactly the reason I so very much love our lives in the summer...especially since my husband gets to share in them! It started Monday evening...we sat down as a family to play a game of "Would you Rather..." It was so fun, especially to hear the kids' reactions to things.
Our mornings this week consist of taxi driving...Robert to the high school at 8:00, Catherine at 9:30, pick up Robert at 10:30 and get Catherine at 11:30. We decided that after all that, we would make a fun afternoon for yesterday. We ventured to the children's museum where we've had a membership for eight years. We had decided not to renew since it is now an hour's drive to get there, and the children are older. As we suspected, Robert and Catherine are not interested in it, and even Thomas didn't find nearly as much to entertain him as he used to. Andrew and I felt a little bittersweet about leaving because our family had shared so many times there...but life changes! We decided that dinner with ice cream was a must, and headed just a little bit north to a Friendly's restaurant. The a/c was broken and there was no way I was going to eat ice cream that way! We then decided to venture even a little further north to an ice cream stand near my home town. As a child, it was a car hop style of place where you could only eat in your car. About 15 years ago they moved and built a small building with some tables. Since it was 4:00 in the afternoon, we had the place to ourselves! It was one of my Dad's favorite places to eat and I remembered the last time we had been there he had allowed the kids to feed the jukebox and play some songs. At this point, we were only about a mile from my Mom's house. She hadn't seen the kids since Easter, although I wasn't sure she felt strong enough to see them now. I called though, and we stopped by for about ten minutes. The kids were happy to see her, and I know that she was happy to see them as well, but I suspect she also got a little teary-eyed after we left because she is missing out on a lot these days.
We drove home through a torrential downpour, but even then we were telling jokes and laughing with each other. I just kept telling Andrew how much I had enjoyed the day. I am so grateful to my mom's friend who is staying with her for a few days. We all very much need the break. I am feeling terribly guilty that we are going to be gone on vacation next week, but knowing that my grandmothers have basically had the week "off", I feel a little better about it. These fun days are what I look forward to during the school year!
Our mornings this week consist of taxi driving...Robert to the high school at 8:00, Catherine at 9:30, pick up Robert at 10:30 and get Catherine at 11:30. We decided that after all that, we would make a fun afternoon for yesterday. We ventured to the children's museum where we've had a membership for eight years. We had decided not to renew since it is now an hour's drive to get there, and the children are older. As we suspected, Robert and Catherine are not interested in it, and even Thomas didn't find nearly as much to entertain him as he used to. Andrew and I felt a little bittersweet about leaving because our family had shared so many times there...but life changes! We decided that dinner with ice cream was a must, and headed just a little bit north to a Friendly's restaurant. The a/c was broken and there was no way I was going to eat ice cream that way! We then decided to venture even a little further north to an ice cream stand near my home town. As a child, it was a car hop style of place where you could only eat in your car. About 15 years ago they moved and built a small building with some tables. Since it was 4:00 in the afternoon, we had the place to ourselves! It was one of my Dad's favorite places to eat and I remembered the last time we had been there he had allowed the kids to feed the jukebox and play some songs. At this point, we were only about a mile from my Mom's house. She hadn't seen the kids since Easter, although I wasn't sure she felt strong enough to see them now. I called though, and we stopped by for about ten minutes. The kids were happy to see her, and I know that she was happy to see them as well, but I suspect she also got a little teary-eyed after we left because she is missing out on a lot these days.
We drove home through a torrential downpour, but even then we were telling jokes and laughing with each other. I just kept telling Andrew how much I had enjoyed the day. I am so grateful to my mom's friend who is staying with her for a few days. We all very much need the break. I am feeling terribly guilty that we are going to be gone on vacation next week, but knowing that my grandmothers have basically had the week "off", I feel a little better about it. These fun days are what I look forward to during the school year!
Monday, June 23, 2014
The kids
I am sorry that my blog hasn't included much about the kids lately...that's what I would rather be writing about! I don't have to go back to my mom's until Thursday, so hopefully I can write about them a little more.
Robert spent last week at scout camp and, of course, loved every minute of it. He is also currently taking health online in summer school. Andrew and I have realized this was not the best decision ever, but it is what it is at this point. His behavior has improved, mostly because we have explained to him that we aren't paying for marching band camp until he has completed a probationary period of acceptable behavior (which has been very specifically spelled out in a contract, signed and dated by everyone). Every red cent that child earns/receives is going to pay off the band camp fee so he is highly motivated to successfully complete the terms of his contract and be able to have some spending money again.
Catherine is currently attending daily basketball camp this week at our local high school, and along with Robert will be starting conditioning for cross country this week. I am looking forward to running season this year!
Thomas attended the boys' version of basketball camp two weeks ago and is having a blast hanging out with the neighborhood kids this summer. This move has been such a good move in that regard, for all of the kids.
Andrew and I are trying to prioritize our house projects, and trying to make fun memories with the kids at the same time!
Robert spent last week at scout camp and, of course, loved every minute of it. He is also currently taking health online in summer school. Andrew and I have realized this was not the best decision ever, but it is what it is at this point. His behavior has improved, mostly because we have explained to him that we aren't paying for marching band camp until he has completed a probationary period of acceptable behavior (which has been very specifically spelled out in a contract, signed and dated by everyone). Every red cent that child earns/receives is going to pay off the band camp fee so he is highly motivated to successfully complete the terms of his contract and be able to have some spending money again.
Catherine is currently attending daily basketball camp this week at our local high school, and along with Robert will be starting conditioning for cross country this week. I am looking forward to running season this year!
Thomas attended the boys' version of basketball camp two weeks ago and is having a blast hanging out with the neighborhood kids this summer. This move has been such a good move in that regard, for all of the kids.
Andrew and I are trying to prioritize our house projects, and trying to make fun memories with the kids at the same time!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
I will sleep well tonight!
I ended up staying with my mom overnight in order to give my grandmother a break. I know that GG is happy to care for her daughter, but I also know that at 85 she is not the solution for the next month (that is my approximate time table for how long this current situation might last). Staying with Mom is more mentally stressful than physically so, as Mom is currently suffering a great deal and it's just tough to watch. Mom is currently living in her TV room where she lives in a recliner...due to the severe and thick phlegm she is unable to sleep laying down. It is necessary to be very near her, so "sleeping" there consists of the upright chair next to her that does recline, but not in any way, shape , or form comfortably. Mom started dozing around 9 last evening, and I started to fall asleep just after 11. At 11:16 (dozed for five whole minutes!) Mom had an incident and I was fully awake again. Mom is in charge of the remote (the TV remains on all night, as do the lights) so I was pretty concerned when she turned over to the Criminal Minds marathon at 11:40...there was no way I was going to be able to sleep to that! At the same time, I wasn't sure I was going to sleep anyway and I had never seen these episodes so I just went with it. Fortunately at Midnight she turned over to Golden Girls, and about 1:30 I was able to start drifting in and out of sleep. At 4AM Mom had another incident, and it was 5 before I went back to sleep, with some optimism that I might be able to get another three hours. The dog had other ideas at 7 though, and I was up and at 'em at that point. I was able to get some things done around the house, and then sat with Mom again at 9, and began to drift off again when the phone rang less than five minutes later. Mom says that GG actually sleeps better than I do because she can tune out the TV and the lights don't bother her...I've always been a very light sleeper. GG came to relieve me at noon so that I could attend a family graduation party this evening, and now that we are home, I plan to sleep well tonight! I am very grateful that a friend of Mom's has arrived from Wisconsin and will be staying until Wednesday so we are all "off duty" for a few days!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Saturday morning
I am sitting here waiting for Andrew to return with Robert from scout camp. It was an extremely hot, muddy week and I'm sure he is going to be VERY worn out. In fact, all of us are that way right now. We ventured back to our former town last evening and it was 1:30 this morning before our heads (even Catherine & Thomas) hit the pillow. I had looked forward to a relaxing day of nothingness as a family, but I've spoken to Mom and she needs me. I truly don't mind, but the rough part is that my sister isn't really doing anything in terms of helping to care for Mom. I know that she too has a lot going on in her life, but knowing how much my mom and my grandmothers have helped out my single, childless sister (think dog sitting, dishes, laundry...I am not joking about this) it's sometimes hard not to be resentful. I have spent so much time praying in the last week...asking for healing for Mom, and for peace in my heart to replace the growing anger about Mom's situation. We are very blessed and things could be so much worse...I need to remember that!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Another week gone by
This was another tough week, but we are hanging in there. Maybe my expectations are just too high...maybe this is all perfectly normal (although the nurses don't think so). Regardless, it was a tough week.
I was able to spend both Tuesday and Wednesday with Mom since Andrew and the kids were at my in-laws. I would be more than willing to spend any amount of time with her, but she hates to take me away from my kids, and I really do appreciate that. Her mom stays with her at night, and my dad's mom spends the afternoons with her when I'm not there. I am so grateful for all of our family, and for our amazing little community that has rallied around us yet again and taken her to her daily radiation treatments.
After not eating for three weeks, we had really hoped the feeding tube was going to be a huge help. It hasn't exactly turned out that way. On more than one occasion, she has become dizzy, and at times fallen, after doing a feeding. Even the nurses aren't really sure what's happening in that regard.
Mom admits chemo Thursday followed by feeding tube insertion on Friday was probably not the best scheduling...although I don't feel that we really had another option. I know that part of the way she has felt has been from the chemo. Tuesday she told me she was better than Monday, although she was still VERY weak and slept a great deal of the time. There is also a lot of gagging, but I won't go into details with that. Wednesday I thought had been such a fabulous day. She was not only awake the entire time I was there, but I told her that it was her...not just her awake, but it was my mom's personality. I really enjoyed being with her Wednesday, and felt so good about it all...I mistakenly thought we had turned a corner. Yesterday things took a turn again, and although she still felt better than earlier in the week, in my mind it was a step backwards. I was the only one who had seen her on Wednesday, so I was the only one with the higher expectations.
I am trying so hard to remember that this is all part of the process, and to NOT be angry...and right now that is really hard. I really share Mom's optimism that she is going to beat this, and I appreciate her attitude. At the same time, there are so many parallels to Dad last summer, and while I recognize we knew it was the end with Dad and this time there is actually hope, it's still a really tough thing to watch...again.
I was able to spend both Tuesday and Wednesday with Mom since Andrew and the kids were at my in-laws. I would be more than willing to spend any amount of time with her, but she hates to take me away from my kids, and I really do appreciate that. Her mom stays with her at night, and my dad's mom spends the afternoons with her when I'm not there. I am so grateful for all of our family, and for our amazing little community that has rallied around us yet again and taken her to her daily radiation treatments.
After not eating for three weeks, we had really hoped the feeding tube was going to be a huge help. It hasn't exactly turned out that way. On more than one occasion, she has become dizzy, and at times fallen, after doing a feeding. Even the nurses aren't really sure what's happening in that regard.
Mom admits chemo Thursday followed by feeding tube insertion on Friday was probably not the best scheduling...although I don't feel that we really had another option. I know that part of the way she has felt has been from the chemo. Tuesday she told me she was better than Monday, although she was still VERY weak and slept a great deal of the time. There is also a lot of gagging, but I won't go into details with that. Wednesday I thought had been such a fabulous day. She was not only awake the entire time I was there, but I told her that it was her...not just her awake, but it was my mom's personality. I really enjoyed being with her Wednesday, and felt so good about it all...I mistakenly thought we had turned a corner. Yesterday things took a turn again, and although she still felt better than earlier in the week, in my mind it was a step backwards. I was the only one who had seen her on Wednesday, so I was the only one with the higher expectations.
I am trying so hard to remember that this is all part of the process, and to NOT be angry...and right now that is really hard. I really share Mom's optimism that she is going to beat this, and I appreciate her attitude. At the same time, there are so many parallels to Dad last summer, and while I recognize we knew it was the end with Dad and this time there is actually hope, it's still a really tough thing to watch...again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)