My new love...soap!

Soap??  Yep!  I am in love with soap.  I have never been a person who would even think about spending a lot of money on beauty/health products.  However, I had seen an advertisement for handmade soap at a shop in my home town.  When I was on a quick visit there a few weeks ago, I swung by the shop,  It was a crowded day, but I picked up a couple of things.  I. Am. Hooked.  My hands have never felt so smooth and soft.  I actually look forward to washing my hands!  I had picked up some holiday scents and they smell awesome, and I am just completely in love with them.  Of course they are more expensive than buying hand soap at the grocery store, but I've decided it is going to be a splurge I'm willing to make on occasion.  I am meeting my mom for lunch tomorrow, and I plan to swing by the store before I leave town!

And that's why I don't like to substitute in Phys Ed

Today I was only scheduled to work this morning.  Honestly, I was looking forward to having some extra time to get some things done around the house.  When I got to school though, they were short two subs so I agreed to stay and spend the afternoon in art class.  However, both the music teacher I was subbing for this morning and the art teacher for the afternoon had 1st period plan, so I was sent to Phys Ed just for that class.  I was sitting there thinking how grateful I am that it was only for the one class period, when all of a sudden there is a commotion and a student is coming across the gym with blood all over his face.  In jumping for a football, he tripped over some mats on the floor, and collided with another student.  His managed to go head first into the door, and his face fell into a lock with his nose striking a handle.  Oh goodness!  Two other students escorted him to the nurse, and I was relieved to hear that it doesn't sound as though stitches are required.

The ironic thing is that I had been asked to attend a training yesterday for first aid, and specifically bleeding.  I had to do band things so I couldn't, but of course several people joked with me about it.  It was not at all how I had planned to begin my day...and it's why I don't want to be a sub in Phys Ed!

Trying to change my attitude

I'm not going to lie...I've been struggling with holidays this year.  I have known all along it is going to be different, and I am a firm believer that things shouldn't continue to be done just because that is the way it has always been done.  But this year, I'm just really struggling.  I'm finding it tough to shop, specifically for my in-laws because I know they don't want just "things."  At this point in their life what they need are physical help, and we just can't be there to do that.  I'm not sure how to make it happen from here, but I am extremely cognizant of what I am purchasing for them.  Catherine and Thomas never made lists, although with Thomas it is kind of easy, and I'm sure we will come up with things for Catherine.  Robert needs a computer and most of the family is contributing to that, which is easy.  I just feel behind overall.

I was annoyed with taking down the fall decorations this year.  We had warm weather for so long, and then it felt like it went straight to cold.  I felt like we missed having real fall-like weather, and I'm annoyed by that.

I was annoyed by the schedule of the past weekend, I'll be honest.  Even beyond that, I was annoyed with my Christmas decorations.  Suddenly, I didn't like them.  I went shopping yesterday to try to find some more, and I just can't find anything I like.

I'm not enjoying my Christmas cards this year, which is usually one of my favorite things about Christmas.  It's not that it feels like work, but because I decided to go with a different plan this year, I'm not enjoying it as much.

I feel like a grinch and a scrooge and I don't like myself.  I think about the family whose young son received a bone marrow transplant yesterday from his little brother, and everything they have all been through.  I feel so guilty for being whiny about my little problems...and they aren't even really problems.  I'm just in a bad mood, and I need to get over myself.

Last evening was a step in that direction.  After delivering wreaths (the never-ending band fundraiser) I decided to go shopping.  I didn't buy anything I had set out to buy, but I did find some other things.  I enjoyed some time to myself, and I enjoyed the Christmas music in the stores.  It was snowing, and although it was cold and the roads were wet, I couldn't help but smile at the young girl who ran out of the store and gasped and was so excited about the snow falling.  And the snow made the holiday lights look even more lovely.

I'm still struggling with some things, but I'm also remembering life's beautiful blessings.

Thanksgiving came and went

Honestly, I didn't love this year's Thanksgiving.  The day itself was very nice and I enjoyed seeing so much of my extended family.  In fact, there were 31 of us altogether at my aunt's house, and only my sister and Robert were missing from the family.  It was nice to see everyone, and Robert even took a couple of moments and FaceTimed so he could say hello to everyone.

The rest of the holiday though, was a little rough.  The kids had swim Tuesday evening, and I was working frantically trying to get the house picked up.  In fact, I worked until 10:00 that evening, and the kids were helping also.  I ended up sleeping on the couch because that way I could go ahead and change the sheets on our bed because I was fairly certain I wouldn't have time on Wednesday...and I would've been correct!

The kids had swim first thing Wednesday morning so we were all up by 7.  I had to be at the band fundraiser by 8:45.  It was 9:30 before I got home, and since my van was full of greenery (the first of many trips) I needed to unload it myself.  I had an appointment at 11, then ran a band errand, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and headed to my actual shift at the fundraiser.  I finished with that at 3:30 (with another van load of greenery) and dashed home to get dinner started.  Andrew and his parents arrived about ten minutes later.  We got dinner started, and Andrew and the kids began cleaning out the van so we could drive it the next day.  After dinner Catherine made dessert to take to the family meal, and we mostly just hung out and watched TV.  We even spent some time watching Thanksgiving episodes of "Friends" which is a tradition we do every year when we can make it happen.

I went to bed early, but didn't sleep well.  In fact, I woke up not feeling well Thursday morning, mostly from sinuses.  My in-laws were in no particular hurry to get moving that morning, which was tough for Andrew and I to get ready since there were things we had forgotten to get out of our room the night before.  There were lots of little frustrations that occurred, and as we were leaving (later than I had told everyone we needed to leave) I fell.  I'd had a bad toe anyway, and it took everything I had not to cry in front of everyone.

I went to bed even earlier Thursday night, but woke up feeling even worse Friday morning.  We were having breakfast with Andrew's parents before they all left, but the place we wanted to eat was closed.  That meant a big chain restaurant, but I was concerned because I had to get the church payroll submitted.  I suggested a different place to eat, but Andrew's parents didn't want to eat there.  Of course, the wait for our food was just as outrageous as I was convinced it would be, and the ONLY thing I was able to accomplish at church was the payroll.  I would have been able to get a little more done, but Andrew locked himself out of the house as he was trying to leave with Thomas to take his parents home, and I had to run home and let him in before doing my afternoon shift at the band fundraiser.  Because it was the last shift, all of the greenery that hadn't been picked up had to be loaded into my van and brought home.  Another parent who volunteered with me is a packing genius, and although the van was packed to the brim, I got it all home in one trip.  Of course since Andrew and Thomas had left, that meant I was unloading it on my own.  I had to get all the bedsheets changed again so Catherine could sleep in her bed (where we sleep when my in-laws are here) and I could sleep in my bed, but I was able to meet some friends for a quick drink before Catherine and I tumbled into bed early again.

Catherine had to work all day Saturday, and I had to make some band deliveries.  I was able to be home by the time Ohio State kicked off, but since I had awakened feeling poorly again I didn't get nearly as much done as I had wanted.  The only chance we were going to have to decorate the tree together was Saturday evening, and I needed to have the trees ready before that.  However, I couldn't put the living room tree up before the train platform was down, and I didn't even know where that was.  Andrew and Thomas left his parents 90 minutes later than I had expected them to, and I needed them for the platform.  I was able to get the first tree put together and was putting lights on it while the platform was put together.  Unfortunately, I realized that most of the lights had stopped working form the year before, so we needed to purchase new.  Catherine got off work an hour early, so she joined the guys in a "quick" trip to get more lights...which took a ridiculous amount of time.  When they got back, I realized Andrew had purchased the wrong lights, but he needed to pick up the pizza we ordered.  I ran back to exchange the lights while Andrew got the pizza.  When I got home I realized I these lights weren't right either, and also realized that Andrew had put mushrooms on the entire pizza.  I don't eat mushrooms...never have in all of our married lives.  Can't do it.  He is aware of this, and it meant I had no pizza for dinner.  At this point I really wanted to cry, but I had to get back to exchange the lights...again.  I finally put the lights on and we finally started with the ornaments after 9:30 that night.  None of us really felt like doing it, but Catherine had to work all day Sunday so it was our only shot at doing it together.  Poor Catherine was so tired she just wanted to go to bed.  We were all very tired, and instead of fun memories, it was just tiring work.

We couldn't wait until this weekend though, because Thomas and Andrew are headed back to Pittsburgh again.  I know that overall life is very much blessed, but this was definitely not the break any of us were hoping it would be.  I knew things would be different than the last several years, but I didn't expect it to be so exhausting.  On the upside, the house is almost decorated, and the band fundraiser is beginning to wrap up!

Remembering to keep it all in perspective

Just 4-1/2 hours until school is finished and we are out until Monday.  I'll be honest, while I accept the changes to our holiday this year, inside my head I've been lamenting things a little.  For instance, I don't love the fact that Andrew will be making two trips to PA to retrieve and return his parents for the holiday, nor do I love the fact that I have to spend several hours on Wednesday and Friday working at the rescheduled band fundraiser.  I also don't love the fact that Catherine has to work two eight-hour shifts this weekend.  I accept it all, but I don't love it.

As a reminder though, my kids are all healthy and happy.  A family in town has a young son whose leukemia has relapsed.  He is currently preparing for a bone marrow transplant and is spending several weeks, this holiday included, in the hospital.  He is transported twice a day from the Children's hospital to another hospital for full body radiation treatments.  This young man is eight-years-old.  He has already been through so much.  His parents are both from very large families, and I'm sure they really wish they would be spending their day similar to mine.  Instead, they will be sitting with their young son who is in the process of fighting for his life.

It really helps to keep things in perspective for me.  I may not have as much relaxing time or as much family togetherness, and Robert may not be here, but overall my family is extremely blessed in more ways than I can count!

I literally put it on the calendar

I completely understand and accept that things are different with the holidays this year.  We certainly can't ignore this.  Between the death of my brother-in-law and the absence of our sailor, there is no denying it.  I get it.  However, there are certain things that I still want to do with the four of us at home.  After all, Thomas is only 14 and we are going to enjoy ourselves.

I've mentioned on several occasions that I love decorating our Christmas tree.  Most of the decorating is left to me, but hanging the ornaments is something we do together.  I've told Robert we will still be hanging his ornaments on the tree (although with him missing, things may be hung a lot lower than in the past), and I really look forward to it.  I knew this year finding time could be more challenging.  I learned years ago that trying to decorate with my in-laws around is not something that works very well.  Andrew will be leaving Friday afternoon to take them back to their home.  I have to work at our band fundraiser Friday afternoon (re-scheduled from this past weekend) and since Andrew is out of town, I made plans with friends that evening.  Andrew will be back sometime Saturday afternoon, but Catherine has to work 11-7 on Saturday.  She is working the same hours on Sunday, and the Thomas has youth group Sunday evening.   Swim practices are all of next week, so Saturday evening will be tree decorating!  And in case anyone thinks that we don't have plans at that time and they want to make other plans, I've made it very clear...it is on the calendar.  We have plans, and I don't care that it doesn't involve anyone else.  Our calendar is filled for that time slot!

My favorite Monday of the school year

If I have to be in school on a Monday (and on 34 Mondays of the year, it is a school day) this is my absolute favorite one of the year.  As I tell everyone, it's already like it's Thursday!  Not only is it only a two-day school week, but then we get to celebrate Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday of the year.  Andrew's parents will be here, and we will spend the holiday with my mom's side at my aunt & uncle's house.  Overall, this is pretty much my favorite week of the year, and I am so incredibly grateful!