Please pray for our sweet pup!

 Our Abby is having some mobility problems.  In spite of taking her to the vet yesterday, things seem to be getting worse and not better.  She isn't crying or whining, or even whimpering, so I don't think she is in any significant pain, but we could definitely use some prayers that she gets better.  I can't even imagine my husband or son dealing with something happening to her.  She is the best dog for our family.  Please pray!

A peaceful day at work

 I'm so grateful for how today has worked out.  I knew before I left school yesterday that I would be in the in-school detention class today.  I also knew that I would only be responsible for one 6th grader, so I knew I would have a quiet, fairly uninvolved day at work.  I also knew that the room comes with a spectacular that I very much enjoyed a few weeks ago.  In some ways, it is even more gorgeous now.  Beyond the browning fields are some woods, and they are showing some colors of fall.  It's a sunny day with only a few clouds, and I'm grateful for the peaceful feeling it brings.  There just isn't enough of that these days.

After school today I get my hair cut, and then I am doing a grocery run for our quarantined friends.  It will literally require that I be gone for hours, but it is the right thing to do.  I'm grateful I can help.

Going back

The school board voted last night that our district will resume in-person instruction on October 20.  Andrew was very pleased, and Thomas cheered when he heard.  I feel a little sad about the change in our routine, but I do think it is a good thing.  Sadly, no matter what, it is divisive in our community.  Either way the vote had gone, people were going to be unhappy, and in some cases, down right angry.  I do think the time is right though.  I am a little sad that I won't get to be a part of the school this year, but I'm not unhappy in my current situation.

Andrew is also. heading back to his parents today.  Because of the issues with our sweet pup, Thomas is staying home to be with her.  Andrew's dad is being discharged from the hospital today, and his mom is insisting he be sent home rather than to skilled nursing.  She feels skilled nursing will lead to a rapid decline and kill him.  While I don't disagree, I believe she is also overly optimistic about his overall status, and I don't think he has much longer as it is.  I'm not sure he'll be here at Thanksgiving given the rate of his decline in the last year.  I keep my mouth shut though.  It isn't my place.  Anyway, Andrew will return on Saturday, at least that is the current plan.

Overall, I feel most of these things are positives, and that is good for today! 

Heaviness

 I don't mean to be a drag, but our home continues to be filled with some heaviness.  Our sweet pup Abby has developed the slipped disc problem that she suffered 15 months ago.  It is heartbreaking knowing that she is suffering, but Andrew is taking her to the vet today to get some heavy-duty medication.  I have confidence that she will be okay again, but it is hard on all of us.  Many prayers have been sent up for her.

We also learned of some additional family drama yesterday.  Actually, there were a couple of cases, almost all involving extended family.  While it doesn't necessarily involve us directly or immediately, we care about all of our family and want things to work out for them.  Some of them are going to be tough, and it makes us sad.

My husband is struggling the most right now.  He is overwhelmed and feels anxiety as he has never felt before.  It is very hard on him.  I am trying to be as supportive and helpful as I can be, but he is just in tunnel vision right now.  He had to work an athletic event last night, but it was less than three hours.  The rest of the time he sat on his computer doing school work.  I understand, but it's hard to work together as a team when we aren't spending much time together.  It's just a tough phase, and I get it.  Maybe one evening next week we can figure out a date night.

I am teaching in a sixth grade classroom today.  I love math, but I don't love sixth grade.  However, I do have a partial view of gorgeous farmlands.  I find much peacefulness in the scenery!

Lots of feelings

 It was seven years ago today that my dad's best friend died.  I still vividly remember that phone call from my mother.  Earlier in the week he had been diagnosed with cancer and told surgery wasn't an option.  However, then a couple of days later we learned that there was optimism regarding a chemo treatment.  Two days after that, his kidneys failed from the treatment, and he was gone.

We had just moved into our home six weeks earlier, and 47 days later my dad passed.  That fall was one of the saddest, and most stressful, times of my life.  Unfortunately, this year is beginning to feel very similar.  School is unbelievably stressful for Andrew, and for Thomas as well.  I am working full-time with a commute and can't do things around the house that I used to do.  We lost my aunt a year ago and my grandmother seven months ago.  We are facing the loss of my father-in-law.  Family drama has added to other sadness, and while we are thrilled Catherine has graduated and are very proud of her, we miss having her around.  And all of this happens against the backdrop of a global pandemic and so many other world issues.

Some days I just feel like it's so much, and I just need a break.  Some days I feel that if I allow myself a break, I'm not part of the solution.  I worry about Andrew dealing with everything.  I worry about my kids and how they handle things, and I worry about the world they will be living in for the rest of their lives.

It's a heavy time, and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.  We will get through all of this though!

Another Monday

 Here we are at Monday morning again.  I am in middle school computer class, which I appreciate for the most part.  I have each grade for an hour, although I do also have lunch duty.  I don't love that, but one would think at the middle school level it isn't a big deal.  I guess we shall see.  I do appreciate that the morning schedule is fairly light, and I have a little bit of quiet right now.

My week ahead personally isn't too bad.  Wednesday is a haircut and shopping for our friends who are quarantined.  That's really all I've got going on this week.  Andrew though, oh God love him!  He has to work athletics tonight AND tomorrow, then plans to take off Wednesday to go back to his parents for at least three days.  While the remote learning allows him to do that, relearning how to do everything in remote learning causes him more stress than I can explain.  The hard part is that there really isn't anything I can do to be helpful.  Our school board is meeting tomorrow evening to discuss going back at the end of October.  I originally had mixed feelings about it, and I still have some serious concerns, but I am beginning to hope that decision is made.  It doesn't mean I will get to go back and sub, as I have made a commitment here.  I also know it would be better for Thomas to learn in-person, so I can't hope against being in-person.  I just try to lift it up and have faith about it all.

Hard to believe the month of September is ending and October is nearly here.  It truly felt like September flew by.  I continue to try to be present and content in each and every moment.  I'll be honest, the gorgeous fall scenery does help to make that a little easier!

The first official Saturday of fall

 Although it was slightly warmer than I may like, it was an absolutely gorgeous Saturday.  I had a lot of errands to run, but it meant traveling on some very rural roads.  I also had a doctor appointment at 8:00 this morning.  It was extremely foggy.  It's been years since I've been out and about that early on a fall Saturday morning.  It took me back to those early cross country mornings with Robert.  To be totally honest with you, those are some of my favorite memories of Robert's teen years.

The colors are beginning to change slightly, although I noticed there is a little more color than even just a couple of days ago.  Unfortunately, we are actually beginning to head into a draught because I truly don't remember the last time it rained.  Monday looks as though it could change that.  After tomorrow with a high around 80, there isn't another day with high temp anything warmer than the upper 60's.  Absolutely delightful!  Next weekend it will even be in the 50's.  I'm just giddy.

Andrew is working all day at athletics today.  God love him!  He has been gone for a week dealing with the stress of the situation with his father, and now he has to work all day at school.  We are definitely looking forward to an evening together...if we can both stay awake!