It was seven years ago today that my dad's best friend died. I still vividly remember that phone call from my mother. Earlier in the week he had been diagnosed with cancer and told surgery wasn't an option. However, then a couple of days later we learned that there was optimism regarding a chemo treatment. Two days after that, his kidneys failed from the treatment, and he was gone.
We had just moved into our home six weeks earlier, and 47 days later my dad passed. That fall was one of the saddest, and most stressful, times of my life. Unfortunately, this year is beginning to feel very similar. School is unbelievably stressful for Andrew, and for Thomas as well. I am working full-time with a commute and can't do things around the house that I used to do. We lost my aunt a year ago and my grandmother seven months ago. We are facing the loss of my father-in-law. Family drama has added to other sadness, and while we are thrilled Catherine has graduated and are very proud of her, we miss having her around. And all of this happens against the backdrop of a global pandemic and so many other world issues.
Some days I just feel like it's so much, and I just need a break. Some days I feel that if I allow myself a break, I'm not part of the solution. I worry about Andrew dealing with everything. I worry about my kids and how they handle things, and I worry about the world they will be living in for the rest of their lives.
It's a heavy time, and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. We will get through all of this though!
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