Mixed signals

I've always been a person who believed in "signs" and that everything happens for a reason.  I understand not everyone feels that way, but it's always been my belief.  I've been told that the only "reason" something happens is the reason I assign to it, and perhaps my "signs" are just me processing information and reacting to it.  Regardless of the thoughts of others, lately I really feel like I've been getting mixed signals!

This summer I very much knew that I wanted to be home this year.  Andrew preferred having the extra money available, but he has always said he will support whatever decision I make.  He is also very clear that if we do decide that one of us is going to be home, it definitely isn't going to be him...he has absolutely no desire for that.  As the summer progressed and it became obvious that my mother was going to need me, we agreed it was for the best that I not be working.  Even though she is in remission, she is having a great deal of complications from the treatments, and I've considered them all to be a sign that I wasn't supposed to be working.

But there have been mixed signs...very expensive signs.  In addition to the added expense of helping Mom (it's over $25 in gas just to make the trip to her place...not to mention meals on the go, picking things up for her, and occasionally a sitter here for the younger ones). we've had other unexpected expenses.  This summer we had some major car repairs on Andrew's vehicle, and we pretty much know that it is on borrowed time.  We also had to put new brakes on my van, replace our garage freezer, and now the issue with the water.  The plumber was definitely not cheap, and now there is evident (although perhaps only to us) damage to our floor that we would like to be able to fix...all of this since July when I really started to think about being home.  Signs that I should get off my rear and go back to work?  Until this school year started we had been able to keep from dipping into our savings, and even now we've done so very little.  I guess I'm just afraid I'm ignoring that "go-back-to-work sign" and until I acknowledge it, we are just going to keep having expensive signs!

Today, I decided I am taking that leap of faith.  I am trusting that it is all going to work out, and I am going to plan on staying home this school year.  The good news is that if something majorly expensive does happen I can always go ahead and sign on to sub this year if we begin to really dip into the savings.  My life has been very blessed.  I am choosing to look forward to the many blessings that I know will come rather than worry about what isn't.