This past week has been tough as a mom. Gratefully, not tough in that my kids have been misbehaving...they've been pretty good. Tough though, in things that cause them hurt that I can't control.
Thomas has mentioned about a boy or two at school that are sometimes mean to him. Sometimes they are physically mean, and sometimes verbally. And of course sometimes they all seem to be the best of friends and everything is peachy. While I don't EVER like anyone being mean to my kids, I know that this particular incident is nothing serious and it's a little hurt.
Yesterday though, we found out about a bigger hurt that has been happening to Catherine. Apparently, there has been a girl on the bus who has been calling her names on nearly a daily basis. Ugh...middle school stinks!!!! Yesterday when the girl decided to up the ante by saying she thought Catherine had guns in her clarinet case (clearly a ridiculously desperate attempt to push buttons) Catherine came back at the girl and began calling her names as well. We first learned about the incident when the middle school principal emailed my husband in the morning, then followed up by saying he and the counselor had spoken to both girls and they were to be separated on the bus. They were hoping this would end the situation. It might, because Catherine says the ONLY issue she has with this girl is on the bus. If it doesn't, Andrew is willing to take her to school for the rest of the year, but it's not overly convenient and not really what we're going for. When Catherine got home, we sat down and talked with her, and my strong little girl sat there and told us about the situation, and tears began to fill her eyes and her voice began to crack...absolutely heartbreaking for a mom! We gave her some coping skills and explained to her that the best thing to do is to stop sitting near this girl on the bus, and that part is really hard for Catherine. She is pretty much one that if you tell her NOT to do something, that is the first thing she wants to do. We also explained that this girl is getting a thrill from getting Catherine upset, and that the more Catherine can ignore her, the more upset this girl will become...and hopefully her lack of success will cause her to stop. That might just be wishful thinking though.
My husband has had an awful experience with a colleague as well...and this man is in his mid-40's! This guy has just become an arrogant a--h--- to my husband, and it's just astounding to me that someone could treat another human being with such disdain and lack of respect. The administration became involved and they totally "have my husband's back" because Andrew truly did nothing wrong and made the correct decision in a disagreement, but it hasn't stopped the other guy from outright calling Andrew stupid. How old are we folks?
It makes me sad, and not just for my family members. It makes me sad for society. When did disrespect and meanness become okay? As I've had experiences with some adults lately it certainly is no wonder that the children behave the way they do given the modeling by the adults around them. I am certainly no saint and I'm absolutely not perfect. I know I have hurt people in my life with my thoughtlessness and selfishness at times, and I regret that. However, it was unintentional...I can not imagine setting out with the intent to cause another person pain...physical or emotional. The thought of it actually sickens me. At the same time, I know that it's going to happen, it's going to happen to my kids, and there is really nothing I can do to stop it. And that is really hard on this mom's heart.
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