Parenting and a lot of sadness

Maybe I don't even need to explain or elaborate.  Maybe parenting is just that stressful that this title stands alone.  Maybe (really, not maybe) parenting is the toughest job ever...because the stakes are higher than anything else in life.

Yesterday pretty much felt like a parenting fail.  Mostly this was due to the fact that I felt lousy and just wanted to be alone...which is not fair to my children whom I truly do love deeply.  Some of it my parental failing feelings were because crap happened...and keeps happening.  I know some of it is because they are kids, and some of it is because Robert just insists on doing it his way, regardless of how tough that makes it.  At the end of the day though, I was still grateful for parenting, and tried to remind myself that although I'm stressed and worried about the actions of my children and the impact on their ability to become productive healthy adults, they are still here on this earth for me to parent, and for the most part generally healthy.

Our former town has had three young men, all in their 20's, and all from absolutely fabulous stand-up families, pass away from a heroin overdose in just the last six months.  It is so terrifying to think how close it is hitting to home.  These aren't families who may be from the "wrong side of the tracks" or kids from families with a history of poor decisions.  These are families no different than mine...and that is terrifying.  How do I make sure it doesn't happen to my family?  I can't...there are no guarantees in life regardless of anything that you do.  All we can do is try our best, keep talking to our kids, and pray, pray, pray, they make the best decision.

In addition, our former town lost another young man last evening to a car accident.  The weather was terrible and that certainly was most likely a contributing factor, although the investigation is continuing.  This weekend, our current community experienced a teenage car accident.  The driver and passenger were treated and released, although a rear passenger is still in the hospital in a coma, and the MRI has revealed brain damage.  They won't know the extent of the brain damage until she wakes up, and even then some months later.  These teens were out "hill hopping", and it just makes me sick.  This was completely preventable.  I understand the mindset of kids..."it's never going to be me."  Except that it just might be.

I had trouble sleeping last night for a variety of reasons, but mostly my head was spinning with what at times is the overwhelming feeling of parenting.  Prayers are being sent out today to all parents everywhere, but especially to those involved in all of this sadness.