Unexpected hits on my emotions this weekend

My emotions have taken some hits this weekend.  Waking up to the news of Kyle's death was tough.  Overall, I was doing okay throughout the day until I read words by her cousin.  It brought me to tears, and they flowed freely.  Honestly, it affected me the rest of the day.  I think that is all understandable.

Today was even more unexpected.  I am taking down the Christmas decorations, which always makes me a little sad.  This year is certainly no exception, and I'm a little sad about things that normally happen but didn't get to this year.  As I put away Christmas frames with family pictures, I unwrapped a picture, and so unexpectedly, the tears flowed again.  It is a picture taken in my dining room nearly 5-1/2 years ago of my aunt, grandmother, mother, and uncle.  It felt like a punch to the gut and tore at my heart.  Grandma and Aunt Cathy are gone, and my uncle is ripping the rest of the family apart.  It just truly, truly breaks my heart.  I have such wonderful memories of growing up with my cousins (part of the reason Kyle's cousin's words brought me to such tears) and I have loved watching my kids grow up with their kids.  Those days are almost certainly over.  Nearly six months after my uncle showed his true colors things are not better, and in fact are worse.  So that seems to be what it is.

The last attack on my emotional state was an email sent by our friend (and former boss this year).  He is dedicating a Veteran's Wall at his school and shared with staff the slides of each veteran.  My heart was not prepared for the twist it felt thinking of my own son, who not only wants nothing to do with us, but who, from the sounds of what little information we have received, disgraced the uniform.

I am grateful that today we have no where we need to be, and that there is the distraction of football most of the day.  I was not prepared for (or expecting) all of these emotions this weekend!