I really, really loved this weekend

Our Memorial Day weekend was absolutely wonderful.  It was busy and I'm pretty darn tied, but I would do every minute (almost) of it over again. 

 Friday I was off work at Noon.  I came home to grab a quick lunch, then headed north.  I picked up my Mom, and then we drove to my grandparents' home town (paternal) to put flowers on the graves.  A cold front had come through and it was COLD.  We stopped to see Grandma (I'll write a separate post about her), then I dropped Mom off and headed home.  I was home for about two hours before we were out the door again at 8:30 for a VERY late dinner.  Our best friends' daughter (Catherine's best friend) was graduating and we had agreed to meet for dinner after the ceremony since we couldn't attend.  As we sat down, I realized that their four kids and our two kids were all sitting in a line and I whipped out the camera.  Photo op!  Having them all together like that happens almost never, and will be even more rare since their oldest just graduated from college and is moving to California.  We had a lovely evening.  Catherine went with their family to their house to stay over and continue celebrating with her friend.

Saturday I had to swing by school to meet a parent volunteer, and then I ran a couple of errands.  Thomas had to work, but early afternoon Andrew and I headed to our best friends to help them get ready for their graduation party.  It was such a very fun evening.  We got to see so many other friends, and the kids got to see so many other kids they grew up with.  More photos were taken.  My heart was so incredibly full.  Catherine stayed over again with her friend, and it was nearly 1AM before we made it home.

Yesterday we were up early enough to take Thomas back to our friends' house so he could join all the girls for an amusement park trip.  Early afternoon I headed north to attend a cousin's graduation party, but left early enough that I could spend an hour with my grandmother first.  I then made a quick trip to visit the graves of my dad, grandmother, aunt Cathy, and both grandfathers.  When I arrived at the graduation party, I realized that my cousins from Massachusetts had come in for the graduation.  It was so awesome to get to visit with them and all of the family that was there.  I ended up staying longer than I had anticipated, and it was such a wonderful evening.  Upon arriving back in town I went straight to some friends who were having a cook out (which is why Andrew hadn't joined me).  We got home a little after 10, and the kids arrived home shortly after.  They had an absolute blast spending the day with their friends.

This morning Andrew ran a few errands, and I made another trip north for yet another graduation party.  I only made a quick appearance, then I went and moved some furniture my grandmother had decided she wanted.  I then spent a little time rearranging her new place so that things were where she wanted.  I can't always be a lot of help, so I want to make sure I take care of what I know I can take care of.  Thomas spend the afternoon visiting a friend, and Andrew was putting together his new grill.  Finally this evening, we had a nice dinner grilled by Andrew, and then spent the evening sharing some TV shows.

I really, really appreciate having this time together.  We are so, so blessed to have this time together.  It was crazy busy, but I had a blast.

We made it

EDIT:  I wrote this two days ago, but forgot to hit publish...indicative of how crazy life has been!

We made it through this school year.  It was a year unlike any other, although the end of beginning to show a return to normalcy.  Right now, I'm watching graduation.  It is being held on the football field with limited guests.  I'm glad for all of them that they get to have this, and I'm very grateful the weather cooperated for them.

The last couple of weeks have been so rough for me.  I'm going to sound whiny and spoiled here, but never in my life as a mother have I had to work for seven consecutive weeks without a day off, and it occurred while Andrew was coaching baseball and Thomas was playing tennis.  It was also while things were exploding with my grandmother, so there was just really a LOT going on in life.

Not only was our family adjusting to me being full time, but of course, we have been in the middle of a pandemic!  For Andrew and Thomas, that meant school online, then school in-person, then online, and never on Wednesday (unless it was finals week), and snow days may not really be snow days, and teaching to students at home even when school is in-person.  Nothing about it was normal or easy.  For Catherine it meant almost no in-person classes, and as a beginning college student, that meant virtually no socializing. This year was just tough, and not just for our family, but for everyone.

It seems so hard to believe that our "baby" is going to be a senior.  Oh my goodness, I have no idea how we got here so fast.  That is next year though, and for now I'm just grateful that our family successfully made it through this year!

Our weekend was more fun than I thought it would be

I was so tired on Saturday, and never took the time for a nap.  We had plans to travel back to our former town and see our best friends' daughter (who is also our daughter's best friend) perform in her musical.  Since she is a senior and we couldn't do many of the normal supportive things we would've done, we didn't want to miss this.  We had been told the night before that running time was about four hours.  Ugh!  I was less than enthused, but I am so very glad that we went.  It was so entertaining, and we really had a good time.  It was well after Midnight before we got home though, and I was hungry so we finally made it to bed after a snack.

Yesterday was the day the furniture was being moved into her assisted living apartment.  We were able to sleep in, but left mid-morning to head north.  We loaded my mom's vehicle and our vehicle, then unloaded them when we arrived at the new place.  I began unloading and arranging dishes, and then once the furniture arrived we began putting away other things.  I have to say, my kids were amazing.  Catherine especially took over with the drawers and other unpacking in order to get things done.  Thomas handled technical issues.  I was so grateful for their help.

We had promised the kids we were would eat at our favorite restaurant in Dayton.  Pub fries.  Oh my goodness, there is absolutely nothing like them.  We enjoyed sitting around the table and laughing with each other.  I am so very aware that none of this is guaranteed beyond this month or even this week.  Catherine could choose to go back to her apartment at any time.  I am so grateful that we have these moments.

In spite of being exhausted, I couldn't sleep last night.  I think part of it is the excitement of the end of the school year which is this week.  I am so, so grateful for a little more free time!

Coffee. Must have coffee.

 It's been a tremendously long week.  Wednesday was an especially long day with working late and then church council in the evening.  Thursday was required evening work, as was yesterday.  I finally got off work last night at 9:00.  Since I hadn't seen my family most of the week, I allowed myself to stay up until Catherine got home from work at 11:30.  Finally made it bed about Midnight, and since Thomas had to be at work by 8:00 this morning, it meant being up by 7.  Coffee.  Must have coffee!

A month ago it was snowing

Yesterday was hot, and today was even hotter.  I was concerned about working in my un-air-conditioned office with very little breeze.  Yesterday was unpleasant, and I was concerned that today would be unbearable.  I dressed as comfortably as I could, and I made arrangements for Andrew to come to the office after work to put in the office's window a/c.  I was pleasantly surprised when I returned from taking lunch at home and the unit was already in.  Thank goodness!  It made the afternoon so much more pleasant!

Ironically, a month ago today we had a measurable snow fall!  Thomas's tennis match was cancelled, and I remember even having trouble driving at one point.  So much for spring this year I guess!

So many memories

Today, I had the afternoon off, so Catherine and I made a trip north to my grandmother's house.  My aunt was there, and we spent a few hours going through Grandma's things.  I must say, Grandma really did a great job of not hoarding and made sure she didn't have a bunch of crap that the rest of the family has to go through.  We went through all of her cupboards and cabinets.  In her spare bedroom, I found so many things that I didn't even know Grandma had.  There were four tubs of pictures and other items, like the graduation program for both her and my grandpa.  There was even a poem in there handwritten by my great-grandmother.  Several of the gifts I had given her over the years were marked with my name, and I brought them home.

In addition, there were three envelopes with the names of my sister, my father, and me.  I left my sister's there so she could decide if she wanted them scanned.  When I got home, I decided to take a few minutes and look at my envelope.  There were so many newspaper clippings, although I probably had many of them myself as I was quite a clipping collector.  There were letters I had written to her in college and thank-you's I had written to her over many different years.  The thing I was most unprepared for was the pictures and other little things I had done or written when I was a kid.  We are talking things that are 35 or 40 years old, and my grandmother had enjoyed them enough that she kept them.

There was also a shadow box that my grandmother had made that was full of things from an office fire that my grandfather had experienced in 1961.  She had noticed that Thomas had always enjoyed looking at it when he was there, so she wanted him to have it.  As my sentimental child, I knew he would love it.  I was right, and his face absolutely lit up when I showed it to him.

It's been a really rough couple of days, and I've lost my battle against tears more than once.  At the same time, I am so incredibly grateful for the memories.  My grandmother has been a huge part of my life, and I'm so grateful for that.  She's always been an amazing woman, and it breaks my heart that we have entered this phase of her life.

Getting towards the end

This is the last full week of school for any of us.  For the rest of the family, it is a fairly uneventful week.  For me, I have to work extra hours for some ceremonies, so it's going to be particularly busy.  Tomorrow afternoon I am off so that I don't go over 40 hours this week.  I'll be spending the afternoon at my grandmother's house, along with Catherine and my aunt, to begin going through her things.  It is so hard to believe that three weeks ago everything was fine, and now she doesn't even have the strength to get out of bed.  We are hoping to get her moved into assisted living sooner rather than later.  We still have about eight weeks until we have to completely vacate her house at the retirement community, so I'm grateful for that.  And in true Grandma form, she absolutely never wanted to be a burden, and made a concerted effort not to hoard things.  She's truly just an amazing woman.  I hate that she is experiencing physical suffering.

One item that Andrew had always wanted was her Admiral console stereo.  It's something!  I don't really have any specific memories from my childhood related to the stereo, but it was definitely a part of her house at the retirement community.  Everyone in the family agreed that we should have it, so it came home with us today.  We also brought back some records that Grandma had to add to those we have here.  This evening we found a home for it, and as soon as we had it in place and plugged in, Andrew played a Sinatra record.  His parents also had a stereo like this when he was a kid, and he's enjoying reliving the memories.  To be honest, the whole thing makes me very emotional, but I'm grateful we've been able to bring this piece into our home.

Not sure I'm really ready to deal with this week, but ready or not, here it comes!

The end of tennis season

This evening was Thomas's final tennis match.  It was only the second match of the entire season that both Andrew and I were able to attend.  There was a home match last evening, but I was dealing with other things (a post for another time).  Catherine was able to be there yesterday, and I know that meant such a great deal to Thomas.  I've seen a lot of improvement during this season.  Today he was able to win his second match of the season.  It's a great way to end the season.

He also was allowed to play an additional set of singles.  He won't be able to participate in the actual last match of the season tomorrow because he is working (I messed up scheduling) so he was allowed to play the extra person that the other team brought.  He had played a really, really even and long match, so playing again was tough and he was totally outmatched.  We decided we aren't really counting that though, so in our minds, he ended the season with a great match and a victory.

We celebrated by bringing in Thomas's favorite fast-food for dinner.  Baseball also ends this week, and I can't be sad about that either.  We are so close to the end of the year, and life being just a tiny bit more relaxing!

Mother's Day 2021

 Today has been a very nice day.  Catherine's best friend came over last night and spent the night.  She left early afternoon.  It's been a soaking rain day, and that gave me exactly the justification I needed to sit on the couch and not do much.  The house is generally picked up, and although I did a load of laundry, I've allowed myself to just kind of sit today.  Andrew gave me a few very nice gifts, but the best were from the kids.  My awesome kiddos picked them out and paid for the gift card and card themselves.  They are absolutely awesome.  I'm more blessed to be their mother than I can put into words.

Last evening we attended the FFA awards.  At one time, I was literally in tears.  My heart is at that school and with those kids.  I miss them so much.  They also honored many of the accomplishments from last year that involved the class of 2020.  The advisor mentioned how fabulous and special that class had been, and it's so very true.  It really tugged at my heart.  I was able to see many of the kids and give hugs.  It was very nice.

I had learned a couple of weeks ago that the head secretary job at the high school was open.  I had told Andrew I never wanted that job because it worked all summer (I found out not exactly the case), but it almost seemed cruel that all three jobs had been open this year.  Today, I found out the assistant secretary job is now open as she is the one who transferred into the head job.  So, the job I first applied for nearly eleven months ago is open again.  Honestly, I wanted to cry.  My heart is at that school, and that is exactly where I want to be.  I don't love the job I'm currently in, but I do appreciate the financial comfort is currently provides, and I certainly don't dislike it.  I feel like I need to give the job I'm in a year, and go through a normal school year and see if things get better.  And ultimately, I don't feel like I can put myself through the up-and-down emotions of applying for the job at the high school again.  It hurts though, and it almost seems as though it's just fate being cruel.

Regardless of that situation, I've really enjoyed my day today.  I"m so grateful for my amazing family, my amazing kids, and our life.  Tomorrow I'll get to see my own mother and my grandmother, and I'm very excited about that!

Emotions and feelings and long weeks and we just need to be finished

I can't believe it isn't yet Friday.  I am beyond exhausted, and I am completely drained.  I'll be spending the next week helping my sister and aunt make some decisions about the next stage of my grandmother's life.  Every thought about it brings tears.  Not only is she my last surviving grandparent, but she is a link to my dad.  It makes me emotional.

Today, I sat with a young student who just cried and cried because her teacher told the class that she (the teacher) was moving on to a new school next year.  Because we are a Montessori school where multiple grades are in one class and this particular teacher had changed assignments at school, Ruth had always been in a class with the teacher.  The fact that the teacher was leaving was so heartbreaking to Ruth.  I sat with her on the bench waiting for her dad to arrive.  I rubbed her back and put my arm around her.  Given my emotional state, I was fighting tears myself.  Her heartbreak broke my heart.

I've also sat with Thomas tonight as his heart broke over the vehicle.  The car we purchased for the kids 4-1/2 years ago might be kaput.  Thomas is so, so upset about it.  Andrew thought he had lost his mind, but I get it.  I get him.  Our hearts get us attached to things, and I know it doesn't make sense, but it happens.

We need to be finished with this week, and we so need to be finished with this school year.  EVERYTHING about this school year has been hard.  It was hard for Andrew and Thomas to begin the year remotely.  It was hard when school went in person, but Andrew was still teaching the remote students.  It was hard for Catherine to have her first year of college be almost completely online.  Not only was it hard for her to navigate her classes, but she couldn't meet people.  Although a blessing, it has been hard to navigate working full time for the first time as a parent.  Even though my children are almost completely grown, being a mom is still the most important job I'll ever have.  We need this school year to be finished.

Only about 18 hours until the weekend begins.  Fourteen school days left for me (although I will work all summer, it has more flexibility), fifteen for Thomas, and sixteen for Andrew.  We'll get there, and we'll all be okay.

A lot going on

May is always crazy, although this year it is for different reasons.  Yes, Andrew is still coaching baseball (I'll be honest, I'm just over it this year), and we added Thomas playing tennis to it this year.  Because tennis matches start at 4 and I now have to work until 4, I only go to home matches (except for his very first match).  Of course, I have a "real" full-time job this year which is new to us, and that adds a little craziness as well.

There is also so much happening in our extended families, and I can't help but feel there is a lot of loss we are going to be seeing.  Andrew's father has stabilized, but reality is that we'll be beyond lucky if he makes it another two years.  My grandmother has weakened quickly.  She had decided over the weekend that she would move into assisted living when her rehab stay was over, but has now decided that she'll just go straight to the nursing home.  That is a lot to process, considering a week ago things were still pretty normal for her.  It makes me emotional.

My sister also called last night to tell me that she learned my uncle, the one making mom's life challenging, has been in the hospital.  He was diagnosed with leukemia many years ago, but the doctors felt, at the time, that it would progress so slowly that something else would kill him eventually.  It turns out that things have changed, and he is currently undergoing treatments for the leukemia.  It is sad that my sister learned through a mutual acquaintance and not because anyone was contacted.  My sister reached out, and there is hope that he can still be stabilized.  It makes me sad though, because things are just so unpleasant with that.

I am grateful for my faith which provides comfort and peace, but I won't lie.  I'm emotional and drained quite a bit these days.

Some thoughts for my grandma

My grandma has been having a really rough time with some pain, and was in the emergency room yesterday.  While she doesn't need to be hospitalized at this time, she has been moved into the rehab unit of the nursing home for now.  We expect that she will move to assisted living after leaving rehab.

My grandmother is 90 years old.  I know that she isn't going to live forever, and that breaks my heart.  She is one of the most amazing women I've ever known.  Her emotional fortitude and strength is second to none.  She raised an amazing man in my father, and I can't even imagine how her heart broke as he was buried, not to mention all those years of watching him suffer.

It will break my heart when she is gone, and even just thinking about it brings me to tears.  Her passing will have a profound impact on me in so many ways, and I absolutely hate to think about it.  As we are going through this though, I am realizing there is something even worse, and that is having her suffer.  I hate, hate, hate, that she is in significant pain right now.  The doctors don't think anything major is wrong, but I want her out of pain!

I've been praying a lot today.  Her passing is not imminent by any means.  I just want her to be comfortable.

Summer plans

Our family has made just a couple of summer plans, and I'm so very, very excited.  Two weeks ago we booked a four day trip to Holland, MI.  We knew that a trip to the ocean wasn't going to happen this year, but Thomas really wanted our vacation to include water.  I had taken Robert to a running camp in Holland four years ago, and really liked the town.  It is only five hours away, and the four days there will be perfect.

Additionally, Andrew and I made plans to get away for two days, just he and I.  We are going to a nice hotel in Lexington, and again, I am so excited!  Our Billy Joel at Notre Dame concert was postponed again until 2022, so after not taking any trips last year, it will be so very nice to be able to do this over our summer.  I am so grateful we can make this happen!

Prom

Tonight everyone (except me) is at Prom.  The high school invited back the class of 2020, and allowed anyone who is a junior or senior at our high school to also attend.  Thomas was a little disappointed he couldn't take the girl he likes who is a sophomore.  Catherine had not attended her junior prom, so she was super excited she was able to go.  To say that she looks beautiful is an understatement.  I'm so grateful for a dear friend who wanted to come and get her ready.  I am grateful beyond words, but that is another post.  Andrew is chaperoning, and I'm enjoying my quiet time.  My heart is so very, very full right now.