Putting away Christmas

I have started to put away the Christmas decorations.  It is breaking my heart a little bit this year.  It always fees a bit sad anyway, but this year I've actually had to fight some tears.  Andrew is working today so it's just me, and I'm grateful for the quiet opportunity.

The first thing I did was take down Thomas's ornaments so they would be separated.  Thomas took a few of them with him, but the majority were still on our tree this year.  This is the very last year that my baby's ornaments, and all of those memories, are going to hang on my tree.  The last year of his "new driver", or football, or tennis ornament.  The last year of the special ornaments from family and friends over the years.  This is what we want in life, of course, for our children to grown up and be independent.  But I can't deny I'll miss unwrapping and hanging those memories each year.

I've also been a bit emotional as I've put away the pictures we have out each year.  I miss the little people in those photos so much.  Again, I'm grateful they have grown into who they are, but I miss those little people.  And as hard as the last year was, I miss the simple little problems they had back in those days.

We also have a lot of Christmas things that are beagle related, and we miss our sweet Abby so much.  There were tears on Christmas morning as we still had Abby related memories as gifts, and it's hard to think about her without crying, even now.

I was sick for a week right after Christmas, and between that and they kids having their own lives, it all just felt different and not very "Christmas-y".  There were no lights that we went to see, no fun TV episodes or movies, no family games.  While I have strived so hard to accept this is the way things are now, it still felt, well, less than.  I'm working on that, and I'm hoping it had as much to do with being sick as anything else.

Tomorrow is the last official day of break, but there is a massive winter storm heading our way.  Neither Andrew nor I are supposed to have students on Monday anyway, but our boss has let us know we'll probably do a Zoom meeting and then work from home.  I don't have that much I can do at this point, but I'm sure I can find some things.  While Catherine won't have to work, Thomas still will, so snow days are tougher than they used to be for my heart.

To be honest, I'm looking forward to having a less cluttered home, and I'm hoping that will lead to a less cluttered mind.  And I'm working on remembering my blessings and being grateful for each day.