Easter weekend wrap-up

It was really nice to be able to spend Easter at home this year.  The last time we had been home was five years ago.  I especially appreciated being able to celebrate Easter in our own church.  Although the day began cool and cloudy, it truly turned into an absolutely lovely day.

I really enjoyed our weekend.  Even though we have weekends every week, I commented to Andrew on Saturday that I appreciated the fact that he didn't even have to think about doing lesson plans the next day.  That is the thing about a teacher's job that I know most don't understand.  Yes, we have weekends off every week, but one does not get to just show up to work on Monday morning and begin the week.  There is a great amount of prep work that goes into preparing for a school week.  It was nice not to even have to think about that.

Instead, Andrew and I began our vehicle shopping.  This entire process will undoubtedly be drawn out, and a post of its own.  Between our stop doing that and our grocery shopping, Andrew and I went to a winery that is only ten minutes from our house.  We knew the lady that was working there, and we decided to do a tasting.  We really enjoyed ourselves, and it was a fun way to spend some time.  That evening our family made homemade pizzas and watched a movie together.  It was a fabulous way to spend our Saturday evening.

Yesterday after church we drove to my grandmother's house for Easter lunch.  My mother, sister, and aunt & uncle were also there.  We checked out a few car lots for inventory on the way home, and then just hung out for the evening.  It was our first front porch evening of the year, and today is another absolutely gorgeous day.  So thankful for Spring break this week!

Day one of this year's break

Today we slept in, and it was absolutely wonderful.  I had nowhere I had to be all day.  Catherine had to work the bulk of the day, and Andrew took Thomas to run some errands, but I was home all day.  I was looking forward to our family evening after Catherine got home.  We had plans for homemade pizza and a family movie.  Instead, because of the rain, all levels of baseball games were cancelled and Andrew was invited to a "coach's night".  I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed.  I was pleased for him because he has been feeling like he doesn't really have many friends here in town, even though we've been here over five years.  We had a bunch of the same people over last Friday evening, and we all had a blast.  So much so, that they stayed until 3AM!  I am grateful for his opportunity, but it just wasn't how I had planned to spend my evening.

On the upside, it is only day one of break...we still have a week to go!

I need to get away

Our spring break begins in four hours and thirty-eight minutes.  I know it sounds a little ridiculous that I am counting down this much.  Honestly though, the last week has been draining.  I've been fighting an uphill battle in the classroom since I've been the "regular" teacher since the middle of last week.  I felt not just being a sub, but taking on the responsibilities of being that teacher was the right thing to do.  It isn't fair to the kids that things have been so messed up, and I have worked really hard and tried to do the right thing.  It has been met by tremendous resistance from the students, who apparently were not expected to do much work during the course of the year.  At the same time, I'm not allowed to pull the "your teacher isn't coming back, and you need to accept doing things my way" because they can't guarantee that I will be here the rest of the year.  It's been tough, and I'm worn out.

I haven't felt well either, and Thomas continues to struggle with school.  I don't think anything can make me feel like such a lousy parent as Thomas's school performance.  Honestly, I don't know what to do.  I am overwhelmed and scared.  He isn't a behavior problem like Robert could be, but his grades aren't good either.  My heart breaks for his struggles, and I just don't know how to help.

I've been interrupted a lot while putting this together, and we are now down to three hours and forty-seven minutes.  I can't wait to spend the next week just focusing on my family!

Three days, two hours, and sixteen minutes until the bell rings and break begins

Not that I'm counting down or anything.

Early last week, I decided I was going to wind down my work schedule.  Today is day 120 work days for the year, and of course I still have several scheduled in the last 22 (counting today) school days.  I was looking forward to a calmer pace to life.

Wednesday I was called into the office and asked if I could be in for a teacher until spring break.  It's American History, which would be my dream job if I ever had my own teaching career (which isn't going to happen).  It would require some rearranging of things, but I agreed to take on the assignment.  It turns out there is a chance it will turn into an assignment for the remaining of the year.  I offered to take it if that becomes necessary.  It would again take some rearranging, but it also made a lot of sense.  I know the kids and the school, and I have tons of support not only at home but throughout the department.  And I love American History!  Right now it is just this week though, and that is also fine.  I'm enjoying it, but it is definitely a lot of work even at this point of the year.

We are so looking forward to being off Friday and all of next week.  After we return there will only be 18 days to go!

Baseball games

Last Friday I was finally able to attend a baseball game where Andrew was coaching.  I often find it tough to justify watching other kids play baseball when my kids are home or it would mean having to put the dog in the crate.  Last Friday though, Thomas was working the set, and Catherine looked forward to some quiet time with our sweet pup.  It was a fun game, but unfortunately it was a loss in extra innings.  They bounced back Saturday with a win, but it was an away game and I didn't go.  Monday evening was another loss.

The Reds have also been on a losing streak.  It was ridiculous!  They hadn't won since opening day.  Finally yesterday though, the flood gates broke open, and they had a 14-0 victory.  That is 40% of the runs they have scored all season!

I am so happy baseball season has arrived!

Testing week

This week is state testing at the high school.  They spend the first two hours testing, and if the student isn't taking a test, he/she doesn't have to report to school until actual classes begin.  If they do come to school because of no ride available later, he/she reports to study hall.  I kind of enjoy working this week, although I don't love being in study hall for two hours in the morning.  I had only planned to work yesterday and today, but there has been a staffing emergency and I will be in through spring break, and there is a chance I will be in for the remainder of the year.  Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but it is in American History, which would be my favorite!

As a junior, Catherine has no tests this week.  She is absolutely enjoying sleeping in.  Thomas had testing Monday and yesterday, and will again on Friday.  I was a little nervous about my coming in this morning and him being responsible enough to get himself up, but he did it.  I know the sleeping in is good for him after the craziness of last week.

As a group, it is always nice to get state testing out of the way.  Counting today, there are only 25 days remaining in the school year.  It has just flown by!

A hurting heart

I'll be honest, my heart hurt this weekend.  Part of it is the time of year, part of it is I have teenagers.  I also work with teenagers, and sometimes they are just tough.

Saturday after the musical was a cast party.  Thomas was excited about going, although he pointed out that he was the only student that didn't have a ride.  I didn't worry about it too much because it was no problem at all for us to take him.  We were already at the show and I know the people who were hosting and had been to their house.  One of the fun things the cast was doing was to make up their own awards and handing out "paper plate" awards.  I am familiar with this, and know they can be fun.

A couple of hours later, Thomas sent a text letting us know that the party was winding down, and he also mentioned that he was the only person who hadn't received a paper plate award.  My heart broke for him.  As it turned out, there was no organized strategy to the awards.  Each person was just supposed to think about something fun about three people and create an award for them.  So while it wasn't an organized effort to exclude my son, he was hurt just the same.  I attempted to be sympathetic and empathetic, but he kept telling me he was fine.  Andrew mentioned he was upset when picked up, but between talking to Andrew and putting on a brave face for me, he seemed a little better.

It didn't change how hurt I felt for him though.  And I just don't know how to make things better for him.  I know that I can't always make things better, and I sure miss those days when just kissing a skinned knee and applying a bandaid could make things better.  I also reminded myself that I want to be around for my kids, and I want to be a presence in their lives.  I canceled a kindergarten job I have for Friday, and I have absolutely no regrets about doing so.  If I am at the elementary, I am not home with my kids after school.  And that is exactly where I want to be.

I also couldn't help but think how it isn't just us.  I thought about our best friends whose daughter has struggled with a paralyzing level of anxiety.  She can't go anywhere without a parent being present because her anxiety manifests as a seizure and while she doesn't need an ambulance, that is the natural response by most people.  I think about other friends whose son has been on suicide watch at times, and who if not medicated, most likely will be again.  I thought about dear friends here in town, and their daughter whom I adore.  She has been cutting herself because an ex-boyfriend has been harassing her.  They are in the process of obtaining a retraining order.  It will be the second such order taken against this young man, as another set of friends has already done so for the same reason.  And I can't help but think about his parents who have tried and are hurting as well.

I don't necessarily think our generation has it any tougher...I can't compare.  What I do know is that parenting is unbelievably tough.  I wouldn't trade it for anything, even the hard moments, but it is definitely tough.  I send up prayers for all parents.