It stunk

I've got to be honest folks, yesterday pretty much stunk.  It's not a day I'll look back on and wish to repeat.  After fighting tears as I walked the kids to school, I got home so I could drive to my dad's office and fight those emotions.  Before I could leave though, I discovered I had a flat tire.  I was able to locate our air compressor and pump it back up, but it was not what I was in the mood to deal with first thing in the morning.

The kids really enjoyed their days and I was so glad for that.  About 4:30 yesterday our good friend Bob called with the crappy news that JR's first fall baseball game this weekend is Sunday (which we knew) at 11:00...total shock since we'd been told to expect 2:00!!!!  This really throws our plans for Sunday into a bit of a tailspin as it is also the first Sunday for religious ed classes at church and not only is JR expected to be there my wonderful husband/assistant fall baseball coach is expected to be there.  I realize that we can make this work but it will require some "tweaking" of things at church.  I attempt to call my husband and some strange woman answers the phone.  Bob had mentioned that it seemed as though there was a problem with my husband's phone.  I tried both from my landline and from my cell, and every time I called I kept getting someone else.  I tried calling the work number, and of course it rang to someone else's classroom.  The school office was already closed so I was getting worked up that there was no way to reach my husband.  Than I remembered that JR was with him so I called him.  He reminded me about my husband's meeting after school so I explained to have him call me the minute he saw him.  A little while later I decided to get on a check JR's grades since they have now been in school for two full weeks.  The school seems to have lost it's link to progress book, so I had to dig out the paperwork for how to do it.  I finally got on and realized that JR has an F and a C-. UGH!!!!!  I called JR again and he didn't seem to understand how that could've happened.  It turns out that he hasn't been completely classroom work on time and didn't seem to understand that the teacher expected him to finish it on his own time.  C'mon son...use that brain between your ears!

We had planned a fun McDonald's dinner with the kids to celebrate their first day yesterday, but by 6:00 I still hadn't heard from hubby.  I loaded the kids up and and off we went to the McDonald's drive thru ourselves.  I've paid and pulled to the second window when they inform me that there are no chicken nuggets and will I please pull over.  No, in fact, I will NOT pull over.  It is 6:00...clearly dinner time, and you can't have the foresight to have chicken nuggets ready.  NOT MY PROBLEM!  I always explain to the people that had they informed me when I paid, I'd have had the choice at that point to either pull over, or to change my order.  However, when they do not give my choice, I will not pull over.  It took FOREVER to get the nuggets and pretty much added to my already high level of irritation with life at that point.  By this time it is now 6:20 and I call JR again...isn't Dad out of the meeting yet?  They are in the car, so Dad gets on the phone.  I just start crying.  Of course my husband thinks I'm overreacting to everything, and it just goes downhill from there.

I tried to sit with my kids and put on a cheerful face at dinner.  I had so been dreading the first day of school, but I didn't want it to carry over to them...I wanted them to be excited and happy and look forward to everything about school.  And that was why having a fun dinner together as a family was so important to me.  My husband didn't seem to understand why that couldn't happen at 7:00.  Hello....remember, they've gone back to school!  Bed time is at 8:15 right now and it's hot and they are going to need baths.  I told him that we had talked about how he was planning to be home by 6.  When it became evident that wasn't going to happen (and wasn't even going to be close), he should have excused himself for a minute and made an effort to communicate with me.  We went back and forth for an hour once he got home about how I felt and what he thought I should feel, and maybe we got somewhere, maybe we didn't.  I love him beyond words, and his lack of communication and inability to plan ahead well is just something I have to take along with all of the many wonderful things about him.

There were so many tears shed yesterday, and to be honest, I feel guilty for every single one of them.  I know that they were understandable and I was sad and that it's okay to cry.  But I so often feel guilty for what it is that I'm feeling sad about...it's rarely a tragedy or anything major in the grand scheme of life.  But it makes me sad and I cry and I feel guilty because it's not major and then I just feel worse about everything because I shouldn't feel so sad and it becomes a vicious circle.  I had no idea back to school time could be such an emotional time!

UPDATED:  I forgot to mention that after an hour last night spent on the phone with our cell carrier, my husband was yet again able to receive calls.  Strangely enough, texts had never been an issue, although I hadn't wanted to try to send one after I realized there was a problem.  So all is well in that part of life again!  Oh, and no, they couldn't tell him what the problem had been.