I had called my mom yesterday morning because I wanted to vent about our cable box not working and our water heater leaking. Several hours later I had thought it odd that she hadn't yet returned my call. When she finally did, she explained she had been at the oncologist. So yeah, the biopsy from Monday came back and it wasn't good news. My mom has cancer. Honestly, I've pretty much felt like vomiting ever since she told me. The oncologist is optimistic and is very positive, but starting within the next couple of weeks, she will begin seven weeks of radiation (every day), and during that will also have three treatments of chemo. Operating is not an option, but the doctor feels he can still eradicate the tumor this way. I'll be honest, I've gone to an angry place. My father was chronically ill for 17 years, and has only been gone for four months. I am angry that we are dealing with another medical crisis so soon. I am angry that my mother was just getting her life back after taking such good care of my dad, literally being a nursemaid to him especially in the final months, and her life is about to be turned upside down. She is feeling pretty good right now (this all started because she couldn't hear out of her left ear, and one thing led to another) but we all know that there are going to be some really tough days ahead. I am so grateful for friends she has who will do what she can to help, but I also know that I'm going to be spending A LOT of time on the road and helping. I am glad to do it, but I regret it will take away from time with my kids. And speaking of kids, Robert has struck again. I am just so angry and hurt by the crap he keeps pulling I can't even describe it.
I am trying very hard to be optimistic and positive...that is what Mom needs. At the same time, I am allowing myself to be emotional this weekend. This last year has really been a lot to process, and I am allowing myself to cry before we rev up to fight this thing!
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