The last day of this year

Another end of another year...wow.  My initial thought was that this one had been pretty good...and overall, it has been.  It's been a year in which I've been able to count my many blessings.

However, it has been the worst year of my life in terms of parenting.  We have dealt with things with Robert that never in a million years did I ever think we'd have to experience.  I remember telling him earlier this year that the worst day of my life was not the day my dad died, it was the day I discovered some of the stunts he had pulled...and that isn't an overstatement.

Sadly, it continued yesterday.  We learned about another stunt, and this one is pretty serious.  Not jail time serious, but I'll be honest, he's on that path.  As we were discussing the situation with him last evening, he became so angry he punched the floor.  We spent the evening in the emergency room confirming that his hand was very severely broken and that he will most likely be needing surgery.  There aren't even words to discuss my feelings about the situation.

This morning, I emailed his scout leader to let her know about a change in plans, and explained he wouldn't be attending any overnight events anytime soon...and then I sat here and cried.  I honestly, truly don't know what to do anymore.  Sadly, this is a repeat of behavior, and I feel more lost than I ever have in my life.  We aren't talking little things...he is truly affecting the trajectory of his life at this point and limiting his options.  I just don't know where to go from here...I'm not even sure I know what to pray for at this point.

I told him last night that this didn't really get serious until January, and it better end right there last night in the same year.  I'm not remotely optimistic about that though...we've been through too much at this point.

In between Christmas and New Year

We left Saturday to spend a couple of days with my in-laws.  It was honestly the nicest visit we've had in quite some time.  There has been a lot of tension and stress on our visits lately, but this one truly was very enjoyable.  In fact, we even decided to stay a few extra hours yesterday.  I'm glad we didn't stay much later though, because the last hour+ of our drive was absolutely miserable with pounding rain in the dark.

I am so looking forward to the next five days.  We have a few things planned, but still plenty of downtime.  The one thing we know for sure is that there will be a crockpot meal and plenty of football for New Year's Day!!

Santa was here!

Santa was here and everyone seems pleased.  I am most excited about my husband's gift of tickets to a Reds' game, although the way things are going they won't recognize any of the players!  I knew he would be excited about it.  Thomas received only one Lego set from Santa, but he's already begun to put it together.  Catherine is playing a new video game, and Robert is watching a movie trying not to fall asleep (the life of a busy teen).  More than anything, I am so amazingly grateful for the moments of today.  I am grateful to spend it with these three amazing children and my fabulous husband...and I'm so grateful that we are so healthy.

Before too long, we will be heading to my sister's house.  I am looking forward to more Christmas and the day with family!

Merry Christmas!

This weather is absurd

Our weather around here has been less than festive.  I simply refuse to allow the grass to be mowed at Christmas!  But yes folks, we actually could if we really wanted to do so.  We had thought that we might go see some lights.  However, at 4:30 the tornado watches (and evening warnings) began to pop up and we decided to stay home.  We were never in the direct path of any tornadic storms, but the area we wanted to visit was...and we did have some severe storms with winds and downpours as well.  Talk about insanity.  I mean good grief...tornados at Christmas??

Christmas Eve 2015

It's Christmas Eve in our house.  Robert has to work today, but only for three hours.  He will be finished in time for church.  Catherine is acolyting, Thomas is doing power point, Andrew and I are greeting (w/ Robert) and then we come home for our evening.  I'm learning to let go, as we've had very specific Christmas Eve plans since we moved here, but with Robert having a job he is going to a work party this evening.  It isn't late, and I don't mind.  We decided to go ahead and watch Charlie Brown's Christmas last evening, and then we watched another movie as a family.  Tuesday the kids watched college basketball with me, and I really enjoy the fact that we are spending our evenings together as a family.  I'm so incredibly grateful for that!  This evening we will have a dinner of ham and "the fixings" and will use our good China and crystal dishes.

I've been so very emotional about Christmas this year.  I think partly because it just doesn't feel like Christmas...it's in the 60's here for Pete's sake!!!!  I'm also recognizing that my kids are getting older, and this just really feels like it is our last opportunity for solid weeks of togetherness and family time.  Time flies by, and there is nothing I can do to keep my kids little...all I can do is treasure the moments and memories that we are making this year!

The beginning of this year's break

The beginning of our break has not been the most fun to be honest.  I really wanted things picked up around the house, and the kids really just wanted to sit, veg, and do absolutely nothing.  They also wanted to have a horrible attitude and bicker plenty.  It made for some very long days, especially yesterday when I wouldn't let them just sit and watch TV...which really shouldn't surprise them!

We did celebrate Christmas with my Dad's side on Sunday.  It was a nice day, but overall I think everyone just kind of wanted to move on and be done.  Several of us are very displeased with an uncle, and his attitude makes it tough to be around.  The weather doesn't help either, as we are in the process of setting record highs, and frankly we could even mow the grass if we really wanted (which I do not)!

Last evening though, we made popcorn in our "fancy" popper, and everyone gathered in the living room to watch "Sleepless in Seattle".  The kids had never seen it before, and it had been years since I had seen it myself.  I don't think I had seen it since I became a parent, and to be honest, it made me much more emotional this time around.  The kids really enjoyed it though, and it was a very nice way to end our evening.

Today, the house is finally really picked up and I'm REALLY looking forward to relaxing...even if the weather is ridiculously warm!

Our break has begun

We began our break this morning by sleeping in!  Always absolutely wonderful!  Robert had to be at work at 11 and Andrew had to work at 10 at his site managing job, but we still got to sleep in.  It felt so good...I just can't say.

Robert had a dive meet last evening.  He did really well.  For the first time ever he received a 7 and is very pleased with himself.  We are very happy for him as well.

Tomorrow is the beginning of our Christmas celebrations at my grandmother's house.  We've had a cold spell but it is supposed to be a little warmer tomorrow...not too warm that we won't feel like Christmas though.  The actual day itself might be another story though.  We'll worry about that then though.

Looking forward to several days of down time!

Gearing up...to wind down

In just over 24 hours this house will officially be on break...and I just can't wait!!!  Two full weeks of mostly down time seems almost two good to be true!

I also acknowledge that this really could be the end of times like this.  Our summers have become more scheduled with summer swim as well as Robert's job (and Catherine's will follow in years to come, then Thomas and so on).  Even if we don't grant Robert the privilege of swimming next school year, Catherine almost certainly will and the swim schedule STINKS.  Over break they practice Monday-Friday at 8AM and then again at 6PM.  I shouldn't dread it a year in advance, but I kind of do.  I am aware that days on end of unscheduled family time can't be taken for granted, and it isn't limitless.  I know that even with two weeks stretched out before us right now, there will still be commitments and obligations, and it won't all be cheery and gleeful.  However, I plan to enjoy every single minute that I possibly can!

It is what it is

I'm sad to report that the family drama has continued and is now resulting in one of my cousins not attending Christmas this weekend.  It's such a shame that adults can't be adults...and it's also a shame that kids these days have less of a respect for their elders.  The combination of the two could lead to some unpleasantness, and I'm disappointed that one adult is acting as though we all need to choose sides.  Ah, the joys of family.

I also made my sister mad this evening, and I regret that.  I shouldn't have communicated via email...and I wasn't clear in what I was trying to say.  Hopefully she will understand and accept my apology.  We certainly don't need more family drama!

Thomas is beginning to make some poor teen oriented choices.  Oh goodness...here we go again!  Hopefully we can nip this in the bud.

Tonight is Robert's first dive meet of the season.  I'm anxious to see how he does.  He really wanted to swim, but the swimming schedule is ridiculously intense.  Robert also has finals this week.

This house is so looking forward to the two week break coming up beginning Friday.  Bring on the relaxation!!

It's a little hard to be in the spirit

Our weather is ridiculously warm here.  Tomorrow is supposed to be in the low 70's for Pete's sake!  Andrew and Robert are outside working in short sleeve t-shirts...in the middle of December!  It simply doesn't feel one bit like Christmas.

Family can also make it challenging.  I love my family more than I can put into works, but I was in tears earlier today.  The fact that the issues are on my dad's side of the family makes it more emotional for me...I can't help but feel some of this crap wouldn't be happening if Dad were here to handle things.  I also can't help but feel it is my job now, and I want him to be proud of me in how I handle things in my life, and how I deal with our family.  It makes an already emotional situation even more emotional...and that makes it challenging to get excited about seeing everyone next week!

Our saxophonist

Last evening was the first sixth grade band concert, and Thomas's debut as a saxophonist.  He happened to be seated right on the end of his row, so I was able to see him the entire time.  I just can't believe our little guy is all grown up like that!  He had been so excited for this day, and he loved every minute of it!  I just couldn't stop thinking about how grateful I am to be the mom of these three amazing humans!

Frosty fog

Our weather around here has been un-December-like.  Our high's are in the upper 50's and we could even set a record high on Saturday  While I enjoy warmer weather, I prefer my December to fall into Christmas and this isn't happening.  We've had crazy, crazy thick fog lately.  Friday evening I was driving home in the 10PM range, and while driving down roads I drive almost daily, I was completely disoriented and had absolutely no point of reference for where I was on the road.  It was unnerving, to say the least.

Saturday morning the fog continued, and it lead to a beautiful sight.  The frozen fog settled on everything and it looked absolutely gorgeous.  I took pictures of the fog on the cob webs and on the greenery...it was just so beautiful!

This morning it another very foggy morning.  I could tell it was foggy when the kids went out to the bus, and it's only become foggier.  Right now I can't see the bus stop, and earlier I couldn't see the house across the street.  I can now since it is lighter out, but this is some really heavy duty fog!

Seven years of blogging

I began this blog seven years ago today!  I don't know that too many are reading it now, or ever have, but I don't care one bit.  I love that my memories are recorded here...my children's childhoods, at least a part of them, are preserved for posterity.  That makes me so happy!

This time of year also seems to bring out a bit of their childhoods as well.  Catherine has dug out her American Girl dolls and is enjoying them again.  I can't explain how much I enjoy seeing that, even if for a brief period of time.  Thomas is also emotional about the Santa Claus thing.  His teacher informed the class that Santa wasn't real, and Thomas was heartbroken.  We asked him about him, and he tearily answered that he was convinced Santa was alive.  My little guy is absolutely magical!

I'm terribly emotional these days, and yet at the same time feel a sense of peace.  This is such a fabulous time of year!

Not my most favorite couple of days

We are currently in the midst of what are not my most favorite couple of days.  Andrew is off to Columbus with a school trip.  I really, really don't like it when he is gone.  I'm grateful that this happens so rarely.  I'm also so grateful to be so in love with my husband after all of these years!

Yesterday was too quiet

I couldn't get over how quiet it was in this house yesterday.  I so enjoyed having everyone around over the long weekend, and even though the bickering of the younger two could drive a sane person crazy at times, I really missed it all yesterday.  I am looking so forward to Christmas break and two weeks of hanging out!

Our Thanksgiving weekend

Thanksgiving has always been pretty much my most favorite holiday.  I get to see so much family, and it's the beginning of the joy of the overall holiday season.  And of course, there are extra days off of school!

This year though, I wasn't anticipating it as I had been.  I think part of it was the fact that the weekend before, which I have always considered the unofficial kick off to the holiday season, we attended not only the funeral visitation for my cousin-in-law Nancy, but also a memorial service for the father of some friends.  There was also the fact that we'd be traveling which is not my favorite thing, and then there is also the fact that Robert has pulled stunts the last two Thanksgivings.  I wasn't dreading the holiday by any means, but I wasn't full of excitement and anticipation either.

And there certainly were a few bumps in the road.  Traffic on Tuesday evening heading out to my in-laws was absolutely dreadful.  There were accidents and it just wasn't the fastest trip ever.  My brother-in-law and mother-in-law had a big blow up after our Thanksgiving meal on Wednesday evening, and then there is the fact that my in-laws made it very clear that they didn't feel this counted as spending the holiday with them.  There was Robert's annual crappy stunt on Friday evening as well.

But overall, it is going to go down as one of my most favorite Thanksgiving weekends ever.  We made it to my aunt & uncle's house on Thursday right on time, and there was so much love and laughter in that house.  My sister ate first at my paternal grandmother's house, but once she arrived, every single member of my mom's side of the family was there in that house.  We took pictures of the grandkids and great-grandkids, and I just loved listening to all of the noise and happiness in that house.  I don't think I'll ever forget that afternoon.

And to be honest, for the most part, the weekend only got better!  Once we arrived home on Thursday, no one had anywhere they HAD to be until Robert went to work yesterday!  There were a few things we wanted to accomplish here at the house, but mostly they could be done on our own schedule.  And of course there was fabulous college football (GREAT game Buckeyes, heartbreaking Irish loss) and Dayton Flyer basketball even had a pretty good weekend.  Andrew made chili on Friday so I really didn't have to worry about cooking all weekend.  For about three full days, we got to just be...no schedules, no alarms, nothing like that.  All five of us got to just hang out together and enjoy our lives.  It was absolutely fabulous!

Sometimes it is hard to remember to be grateful

I'm not going to lie...there are days when I find it tough to remember to be grateful.  I try very, very hard to remember every day, but it just doesn't always work.  Even on days I am mostly grateful, I can't help but find myself thinking...only x hours until I can go to sleep or x days until the weekend, or x days until the next big school break.  There are days like this week when we had to unexpectedly purchase a new dishwasher after ours leaked all of the kitchen floor (very grateful we were home when it happened though), or the days when they had to come out and fix the washer just a few weeks ago, or the day we found out that Andrew's dental work that seemed minor was going to cost us nearly $400.

However, there are times when I am reminded, acutely, just how grateful we need to be for each day, regardless of how the current day has gone.  At no point have we worried how we were going to pay for everything, nor have we ever had to worry about having food on the table or a roof over our heads.  We've never had to worry about having lights and running water.  And MOST importantly, I've not had to watch my child suffer in a hospital bed and wonder if life would ever be "normal" again.

We have tough days, and I know there are going to be many more in our future.  Having said that, I am still very grateful for each and every day that my family wakes up and goes to bed healthy.  That is a blessing of a magnitude I can not describe.

I think I've figured out November

Last year I wrote that I don't understand why I don't write more in November...it seems as though this month gets the shaft.  I think I've got it figured out.  First there is Thanksgiving and our family does as much togetherness as we can at that time.  It's what we do...and I'll write about it in another post.  That will be a good post...this one isn't so much.

The other thing I know about November is Robert.  His struggles are private and are not for public reading.  Many of them are normal teenage struggles, some are not.  However, they do NOT belong on this blog.  And this year marked the third Thanksgiving in a row that his poor choices have been front and center at some point.  We are working on figuring out why.

If things are quiet around here it doesn't mean that anyone should worry that things are bad...sometimes we are just really busy and having fun living life.  At the same time, please understand that while I want this to record memories, some things I don't want to remember years from now, and aren't necessarily meant to share.

R.I.P. Nancy

My cousin Nancy passed away last evening.  I am so grateful her suffering has ended.  It had truly been awful since Sunday.  As I told my grandmother last evening...this makes three for our family in just 33 days, and I'm hopeful that is the end of it.

Ironically, the very last time I saw Nancy was exactly two years ago yesterday.  Her husband brought her to my dad's visitation.  She was already suffering from Alzheimer's, and I'm not sure that she really understood what was happening.  It was just two months later that she entered a nursing home to  help care for her.

Two years ago today we buried my dad.  Having all of these family members pass brings back the stress and emotion of two years ago.  It's turning into something of a stressful Fall itself, but I never forget how very blessed life truly is!

Feeling sad today

I am feeling a great deal of sadness today.  First of all, it is the date of my father's passing.  Two years have gone by in the blink of an eye.  Today our day is rather unscheduled, and I'm very grateful to be able, for the most part, to spend the day surrounded by the four people in the world who matter most to me.  This is especially true in light of the tragedy in Paris.  There just aren't words to express my horror at that event. 

I also learned just now that two dear friends lost their father.  It was not unexpected, but I know their pain only too well, especially today.  We are still awaiting word on our cousin Nancy who is transitioning from this life to the next.  While I will be grateful her suffering has ended, it just seems to soon for her to go.

I know that our little life right here is still very blessed.  The only thing on our calendar today is Robert working until 2:30, and after that we will all be home together.  I am so looking forward to just 'being' with my family today.

120 Days later

Exactly 120 days ago, marching band season began.  Robert was actually out of town with the youth group, but I was at the high school anyway, discussing various items with new parents.  Here we are, 120 days later, and it is finally the last day of the marching band season.  Robert had to be at the school by 6:15 this morning to catch a bus to Indianapolis where they are spending their day in the final performance of the year.  I'm sure they will do great, but one thing we  have learned is that our band is not in the same league with other bands that will be competing.  I'm sure he'll enjoy the day though.

To be honest, I  have very mixed feelings about marching band, especially this year.  I think many would tell you it was far from our most successful season.  We had a group of 14 seniors, and for the most part, they were absolutely fabulous kids.  They were not,  however, a leadership group.  I'm not saying it as a criticism...not everyone can be a leader.  It was tough though, in that as a group they just simply didn't lead, especially since this Freshman class is going to be legendary by the time they graduate...and not in a good way.  Marching band is full of drama every year, but this year it seemed especially so.  And trust me when I tell you that if there is drama, Robert will manage to find himself right in the middle of it...every time.  For those reasons, marching band isn't always my favorite activity.

Regardless, another season has come and gone!

Christmas stamp puzzle

My grandmother loves to do puzzles.  Every year, for I don't know how long, I have given her a puzzle for Christmas.  In fact, it often is the first gift I purchase every year.  Last year, I gave her a very large flag puzzle.  It was designed to look old and was not only a flag, but had the name of each state on it as well.  With Andrew being a history teacher, she had asked if we might like to have it put into a frame and have it to hang at our house.  I was delighted!  We had a wall that desperately needed something, and the fact that this was a gift to my grandmother and she had worked on it and given it back made it even more special.  She gave it to us this summer and it's been hanging ever since.

I was thinking though, that I would love to have a large Christmas puzzle to hang in its place for the holidays.  One had caught me eye in a catalog months ago, but I refused to justify the $15 cost.  If I'm going to have the freedom to stay home and not have an income (other than my small church job) I must sacrifice material things.  This isn't really a problem for me, but every time that puzzle would show up in a catalog, I would think again about how nicely it would look hanging in my living room.  Finally last month, I received a coupon code that not only offered a discount, but free shipping as well!  I purchased it along with some other gifts I'd been eyeing, and it arrived earlier this week.

The thing that excites me most is how excited Thomas is about all of this!  He can't wait for us to sit and work on putting this together.  We are going to set up the card table in our front room where it can be out of the way, and just leave it there so we can all work on it in our free time.  I am so excited to have something that the family is excited about as well...what a great way to spend some time together, and that definitely makes it money well spent!

I just might turn on Christmas music

I try not to listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, although I will listen if I am flipping through stations on the radio and happen to catch it in the car.  However, it just doesn't get much happier and cheerier than Christmas music, and for today, that might be just what we need!

This week, this year

Two years ago today my mom and I took Catherine and Thomas to a cat show.  It wasn't exactly what we had expected (although I'm not exactly sure what I expected) and I remember my mom telling the kids that Grandpa wanted to buy the cats some toys.  They each picked out an item they thought the cats would love (they were both right, by the way) and Mom paid for them...those were our last (tangible) gifts from my Dad.  He called while we were at the cat show, and it was our last conversation.  He was released from the hospital three days later, and the next day I vividly remember.  My mom had called that day and he was having a really good day, which made the phone call that evening all the more shocking.  It's hard to explain that my father's death was unexpected after a seventeen year illness, but he'd been having such a good day.  I try to be grateful that his last day was that way.

There is a big part of me that would just like to curl up and not face this week this year.  It's easier than last year, but I kind of just want to be alone with my memories.  That is not realistic though, and I'm grateful that life does indeed go on.

Unfortunately, we are facing another family member's passing.  My dad's cousin's wife has had Alzheimer's for years, and shortly after Dad's passing she was placed in a facility for her care.  I learned yesterday that Hospice was called in at the end of last week, and the end is very near.  I am praying it isn't today as it is her daughter's birthday and that just shouldn't happen that way.  Prayers are sent to Nancy and her family.

I really enjoyed our Friday evening

Last evening was a Friday evening that I really enjoyed.  It was the first Friday since August 14 that no one in our house had anywhere to be.  The kids are also finished with fall sports and winter practices haven't begun yet, so we were all home and able to get a lot of housework done.  The kids worked hard on things that had been put off forever, and then I even had them prepare our very exciting dinner of tater tots and grilled cheese.  I know that it might sound strange, but it was a Friday evening that I truly enjoyed!

Having kind of a tough day

I know that life is wonderful and blessed, but to be honest, I'm having a bit of a tough day.  I acknowledge it could be the approaching anniversary of my father's passing, coupled with the craziness of the last couple of weeks, and of course the daily drama of life with teens.  There is also the added expense of having to fix the washing machine, refrigerator, and water softener all this week and new brakes and rotors on our van last week.  While I am grateful the money is in savings, and we are by no means going broke, it just seems as though it has been an expensive year.  I've given serious consideration to trying to find a job, but I suspect poor choices by teens would only grow worse if not supervised.

Right now, the biggest source of stress is my email.  Not the email itself, but items contained within, so I'm king of trying to avoid my email altogether.  My volunteer "job" has exploded.  I have handled several additional responsibilities because no one else would handle them.  I didn't want to, but I did because they needed to be done and that's the way it is.  However, I have been receiving criticism for how I handled things.  People think things should've been done faster or differently, and aren't afraid to let me know about it.  I am astonished, as frankly, the organization should feel lucky they are done at all because no one else was going to do it!  Trust me, I know because last year several of the things weren't handled so I decided to do it this year so it would be done.  It is absolutely amazing to me that people could have such nerve.  It is honestly making me reconsider if this is where I wish to be spending my time and energy.  The hard part for me is that this is an organization that involves my kids.  If it didn't, I would walk away in a heartbeat.  If I do that now though, I'm just leaving my kids to deal with the negativity and lack of follow through, and that is a tough thing for me to do as well.

I am finding myself truly astonished and appalled at the lack of respect, responsibility, and communication that occurs in this world.  Some days are just tougher than others.

I'm not ready for that to end

I've wondered for years if Catherine and Thomas still believed in Santa, and yet I didn't want to tell them...I didn't want that magical innocence to end.  Yesterday Catherine finally made her Christmas list and put it in her window for one of Santa's elves to retrieve.  Thomas made his list in the form of a google doc, then shared it with me.  I had sat and looked at it with him, and he checked to see if Santa had a google account so he could share it with him also.  Again, I just couldn't believe that he might still believe in Santa, but I so didn't want to ruin the innocence of the moment.  I walked into the next room and whispered to Robert, who assured me that Catherine is well aware of the reality of the situation, but wasn't sure about Thomas.  Later I was talking to Andrew, and he said that one of Thomas's teachers had said they had discussed in class that Santa wasn't real.  In some ways I was glad to hear he wasn't so naïve, but at the same time I almost wanted to cry.  We will never again get those innocent and magical Christmases back.  Thomas still mentioned the elf that we have that visits every December, and I'll be honest, I have every intention of playing along as long as the kids will.  These days are special and won't last forever.

I actually enjoyed Halloween

I really truly enjoyed Halloween Saturday.  I think it had a lot to do with the fact that it fell on a Saturday.  It was a chilly and damp day, but it didn't actually rain until after trick-or-treating was over.  There was a big debate about whether or not Thomas was actually going to go out this year.  He didn't want to go by himself, and Catherine didn't want to go with him.  However, it broke my heart to see him sitting, all dressed in costume, on the porch with not too many kids coming by.  Finally I told Catherine that I would pay her to go out and be there for her brother.  He loved getting to trick-or-treat on his final time allowed, and even though she wasn't in costume, Catherine snagged a few pieces of candy for herself.  I had made two crockpots of potato soup for dinner, and after the kids got home we stuck in Charlie's Brown's "Great Pumpkin" cartoon, and shared the evening together as a family.  We even spent some time watching the Notre Dame/Temple game together that evening, and I just really enjoyed the evening with my family.  I'm pretty sure it will be my most favorite Halloween ever!

Hoping to catch up

Today is a day that I really hope I can catch up.  Thomas has art class this morning, Robert works a 5+ hour shift at work, and Andrew will be taking Catherine and Thomas to visit a friend this evening...but I have NO WHERE I have to be!  And I'll even have some time by myself here.  This is going to be my day to make some serious progress on the craziness that has become our home.  I am ready to tackle the stacks of mail and dust bunnies that have accumulated over the last six weeks or so.

Yesterday I could've done so as well, but I did something I almost never do.  I had handed some things for the volunteer organization, then I ran to the nearby outlets to use a coupon I had for some Christmas presents.  As I was driving home, I could tell I really needed a nap.  I  had about 90 minutes until the kids got home, and decided to close my eyes for a bit.  Usually when this happens I only sleep for 15-20 minutes, but yesterday I slept for the entire time until my kids got home.  I was even dreaming!  I know that it was my body's way of telling me I needed it, and I'm so grateful I had the opportunity.

It's still early on this Saturday morning, and I'm looking forward to a day of productivity!

October in the rear view mirror

Normally, I love October.  It is traditionally my favorite month (doesn't everyone feel that way about their birthday month?).  It is always such a beautiful month, and this year has been no exception.  I have found a great deal of comfort in the changing leaves, and know that God has painted the scenery!  This year though, October was a tough month.  In addition to my brother-in-law's illness, the passing of my two great-aunts and the illness of our cat, we have continued to deal with teenage drama on nearly a daily basis.  It is draining and exhausting.  In addition, my volunteer "job" has been ridiculous.  I understand as a stay-at-home mom I am the parent with the most time available to get things done.  However, the assumptions that I will just take care of it is getting old.  I ended up being responsible for senior night even though I wanted no part of it.  However, it isn't fair to the seniors to let it go by the wayside.  I know that by handling it the assumption that I always will is going to continue, but it's just not fair to the kids.

Anyway, enough of my whining.  While it's been stressful, it's also been a beautiful month.  However, I am ready to move out of October and into November, and I continue to pray daily for peace and harmony in our home!

The sadness and craziness continued

Yesterday continued the sadness of last week.  The funeral of Aunt Margie was lovely.  There were so many funny stories about her.  She was one stubborn woman, and that led to some comedy in life.  I have really good memories of Aunt Margie, and although I hadn't been able to see her in the last several years, we always exchanged Christmas cards, and I'll just miss knowing she is around and hearing new stories.  My heart also ached for my grandmother as we buried her sister.  Grandma has now outlived her parents, her son, all of her siblings and their spouses, her husband, and all of his siblings and spouses.  The thing is though, at 84, she is still getting around fabulously.  She is just an amazing woman, and although much quieter than Aunt Margie, just as stubborn and strong willed.

We also thought we were going to have to put our cat down yesterday.  Before Andrew left to take him to the vet, I said my good-byes and told him I loved him.  Thomas and Catherine both wanted to go along, and as always, my little guy's tender heart made me tear up.  At the same time, his strength in wanting to be there if it was the end was inspiring.  I love my three kids more than I can even put into words.  Ultimately, it turns out that the vet thinks it is just an infection and put him on antibiotics, although at age 15 we are all realistic.

In between the sadness of two family funerals, we also had continued craziness.  Robert worked literally all day Sunday while the rest of us ventured north for the visitation.  Saturday Robert ran in the final race of the season, and while he didn't set a PR, he still did well considering the conditions.  We only had a half hour from the time we returned from the race until he had to be at the high school again for his band competition, and he was a tired young man.

During all of this, one of the greatest comforts was how gorgeous it is outside right now.  We are in peak conditions with the leaves, and driving through rural farmland gave us many opportunities to witness the beauty.  It brought such a sense of peace and comfort, and I couldn't help but feel God's presence in all of it.  The colors on the leaves are just astounding!  I'm even grateful I had to spend so much time on the road, as today and tomorrow is going to bring heavy wind and rains, so that will be the end of it.

I'm looking forward to what I hope will be something of a quieter week!

It's been a sad week

Overall, this has been a pretty sad week for our family, but everyone is hanging in there.  There has been some improvement with Andrew's brother, and we are grateful.  At the same time, it just seems as though he (and his parents) have suffered so much and to be honest, it's hard to want him to continue living the life he is living.  Aunt Margie passed away Wednesday morning.  We will be going for the visitation tomorrow and then I'll go back up Monday for the funeral.  I was able to make it to my hometown for the visitation of my classmate's father, and yesterday I spent with my family at my great-aunt Pat's funeral.  These great-aunts are both on my Dad's side of the family, so that makes the emotions even tougher as we are less than a month from the two year anniversary of his passing.  Family funerals (and weddings and other gatherings as well) tend to bring out the family drama, as my aunt (and these are her aunts) decided not to attend funerals, and there are hurt feelings over that.  We are also concerned about our cat Wally, as he seems to have developed a cough, and I'm concerned his time may be near as well.  To be honest, I've been praying all week that if it is his time to go, that the good Lord take him so we don't have to make that decision....although there isn't really a decision to be made.  We would never consider keeping him alive to suffer.

All-in-all, it's been a pretty emotional week.  I've been at school all day every day for Wednesday, and Thursday, and of course the rest of our daily/weekly activities have been occurring as well.  It wasn't until I arrived at the funeral yesterday (late of course, because I had to leave a meeting early just to get there when I did) that the enormity of my emotions of the week hit me, and I just began to cry.  I couldn't stop crying for a bit.  I realized in some ways I'd just been too busy to allow myself to be sad about all of it.

There are happy things too.  For instance, Robert runs this afternoon at the cross country district meet.  We know that he and our team are not competing for anything really, but we are proud that Robert has done so well this year!

Around our house these days

There is really nothing terribly new happening in our house these days.  Aung Margie is still with us, and my heart breaks for her and her daughters.  She hasn't been very alert since Friday morning, and loved ones just aren't supposed to suffer this way.  I also learned that a childhood neighbor and former classmate lost her dad unexpectedly this weekend.  I am hoping to get to my hometown for the visitation tomorrow, but we'll have to see how life works out.

As my children grow and mature in front of my eyes each day, I just can't help but be filled with prayer.  My biggest hope in life is that my children grow to be productive members of society, and I can only hope and pray that Andrew and I can guide them in that direction.  I suppose that seems dramatic, but it honestly is my greatest hope each day.

It's a crazy week for me in terms of my volunteer responsibilities, but I don't want to wish time away.  I want to remember to be grateful for each moment of every day.  It isn't going to come around again, and we are each only blessed with so many moments over the course of our lives.  Lately, that has been all much of a reminder.

Prayers for my brother-in-law

We got a phone call this evening that made my husband cry...and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen that.  My brother-in-law is in intensive care with congestive heart failure (and probably pneumonia).  The dialysis that he is receiving is helping, but as a diabetic things just aren't good.  He has also lost what little was left of his vision.  Because my in-laws waited three days to call us, things are actually better this evening than they were on Thursday, so they don't feel there is a need for my husband to get over there.  We've also been told that my brother-in-law's dog is not well and probably won't be around when Tim returns home.  That dog has been the number one reason my brother-in-law looks forward to each trip home from the hospital, and it's making things even more emotional.  I do believe that Tim will get through this bout, but I also know that our family has seen this before.  I am sending up many prayers for Tim, and especially for my in-laws.  No parent should ever have to watch their child suffer like this.

He came back strong

Robert was officially allowed to return to cross country practice this past Monday.  Today was the league meet.  We knew that he would be allowed to run, but we weren't really sure what to expect in terms of results.  He hadn't participated in a meet in six weeks, and had lost over four weeks of practice.  We were at approximately the half way point of the race, and we were absolutely astounded to see that he was keeping pace with our team's #1 & #2 runners.  This isn't a race that we get to see much of the runners, and we parked ourselves at the finish line to see how it was going to end.  Our first three runners had come across and I was beginning to think that Robert had fallen off, when I turned around and there he was barreling towards the finish line.  He finished fourth on our team with a time of 19:21...cutting 38 seconds off his personal best!  We were so excited, and he was absolutely thrilled!  Next weekend our team runs at districts, and only the top seven runners from our team are allowed to participate.  We weren't sure if he would still be one of the top seven, but it definitely appears that he will.  We are very proud that he continued to attend practice where he was allowed to ride the bike and still do core work, and it obviously paid off!

RIP Aunt Pat

My great-aunt passed away this morning...but not the one we expected.  This was the widow of my grandmother's brother.  She had dementia and didn't know anyone for quite some time.  To be honest, I'm not sure the last time I had seen her, although I do know that she was at my wedding.  I have such fabulous memories of that side of the family.  To know that both great-aunts are going to pass within days is a bit to process.  Grateful for the blessing of family.

Transitioning

I learned this morning that Aunt Margie told her daughter that she couldn't see.  Hospice has informed the family that she is transitioning.  I'm so sad that my family has to see go through all of this.  Aunt Margie has always been one of the strongest women I've known (after all, she is my grandmother's sister!) and it doesn't surprise any of us that she is holding on so long here at the end.  At the same time, I've been sending up prayers that she go comfortably and peacefully.  It just makes me sad.

It made me smile

Yesterday I had to drive to my home town to make a delivery to a friend.  I decided to put in my Statler Bros. CD.  I am sure most people my age (and certainly younger) don't even know who they are, but I grew up listening to them non stop in my dad's car.  The song "Bed of Roses" came on and I couldn't help but smile at the memories.  And then I began to cry.  I miss that man so much, and I know that isn't going to change.  I also realized yesterday was the 14th of the month and my father passed away on November 14th, and the fact that it is the fall also brings back those memories.

It also doesn't help that my great-aunt is expected to pass away at any minute.  Actually, we weren't sure she would make it through last week, and then they were pretty sure she wouldn't make it through Monday night.  She's still here though, but I am praying for a peaceful passing and comfort for her daughters and grandchildren.  My heart breaks for my grandmother.  She has outlived her parents, husband, brother, and even her son.  When Aunt Margie passes her only immediate relative will be my aunt, and then my sister and me.  My grandmother is in fabulous shape for an 84-year-old woman, and I have every reason to believe she will be around for many years to come.  At the same time, it's all making me pretty emotional right now.

Playing catch up

I finally feel as though I'm starting to get a grasp on our lives again.  As ridiculous as it may seem, the computer situation really threw me for a loop.  I do pretty much everything on the computer, and while I'm grateful I didn't lose too many important things, moving everything around, and then moving again, while learning a new operating system was ridiculously time consuming.  Not to mention that my email decided to really go haywire and I'm the central source of communication for our booster organization.  AAGH!

In addition, I've been running kids here and there to various doctor appointments and follow ups.  I am VERY grateful that my kids are mostly healthy and these are just minor inconveniences...nothing life threatening.  My house, however, is beginning to look as though a  large windstorm came through and we haven't bothered to clean yet.  Part of that is also do to the fact that we are just tired and sometimes don't want to deal with the little things.

Overall, life is moving along just fine...and it's the beginning of a beautiful fall week!

It was a beautiful drive

Yesterday Robert had a cross country meet about 30 minutes away.  He isn't allowed to resume running with the team until Monday, but for team unity (and to see some folks from our former town) we decided to go as well.  Besides, I love watching cross country meets!  We had to leave right after the high school race because he had a band competition that afternoon.  I told my husband about the back roads we could take to get home, and he wasn't familiar.  We were so glad we took them though...what an absolutely gorgeous drive.  It was one of the most beautiful and serene 30 minute car ride I've ever had in my life.  Southwest Ohio is alive with fall color right now, and we were on back country roads full of trees, and along creeks.  Oh my goodness, it was more beautiful than I can describe!

We needed this day off

Today is the beginning of "fall break" for our school district and the local university.  It is only this one extra day, but oh goodness, it is absolutely wonderful!  Everyone in this house truly needed to get some sleep, and although Robert has to work today, everyone was able to sleep until 9:00.  In fact, I had taken NyQuil last night and slept a blissful 10+ hours.

I hate to complain because it is all "first world" problems, but it was a pretty stressful week.  Everything has turned out wonderfully, but everything has been a hassle...and some hassles occurred more than once.  I am so especially grateful for today and a chance to wind down!

It's just not funny

Today there was a general threat made against every high school in the county.  I learned about it by a one call our school made just before 8:00 this morning.  Even though it was a call letting us know that everything seemed to be fine, it made me absolutely sick to my stomach.  Not only is my oldest at the high school, but so is my husband.  Later I had some errands to run and was passing the high school in the next community over.  My cousin has a child at this high school, and seemed apparent to me that the complex had been evacuated.  I couldn't wait to get home and sure enough, the news confirmed my suspicions.  What is wrong with these people???  There is absolutely NOTHING funny or amusing about this.  We are dealing with people's lives here.  There has been a rash of these recently and I just don't understand.  I hope these people are caught, although frankly I can't even think of a suitable punishment for them.

Another new computer

We think, think, we might actually be up and running again with a computer that works!  My fabulous husband wasted no time when my desktop died last month in getting us a new one.  However, it never seemed to work quite right.  Many days I would just give up using it all together, especially if I needed the internet.  My husband finally called yesterday to the store where it had been purchased and they basically have a simple return policy...except that yesterday was the last day that policy was in place.  Fortunately, he was able to get down there and make the exchange, and (I'm almost afraid to say it out loud) everything seems to be working much better.  This is one hassle that I'm hoping is about to come to an end!

Life around here

I continue to find it difficult to write at times.  I  know that my children are entitled to their privacy, and their shenanigans are not for public viewing.  Because that is dominating life right now, it makes it hard to want to get on here and document for posterity.

We had a nice weekend though.  We met my mom & sister for dinner on Friday, then took off to visit my in-laws Saturday after Thomas's art class.  It was a very short visit, but my father-in-law turned 80 last week so we drove over to have dinner with them.  For the first time ever, my mother-in-law wept as we left.  Between my father-in-law's age and my brother-in-law's declining health, she knows their days of traveling to us will be rare, if ever.  Not to mention the toll that my brother-in-law's constant care is taking on them.  She feels that she is missing the kids grow up, and my husband felt sad and guilty as we took off.  We know that we can only do what we can do, but we've decided to look into some retirement and health facilities here to see if we can convince them to move here.  It doesn't hurt to try.

Other than that, life is moving along, and I pray every day for peace in my heart, and patience and strength to get through these teen years!

A prayer for parents

As I indicated in previous post, it's been a rough couple of weeks.  Yesterday I searched online for a prayer for parenting, and I couldn't find anything I liked so I decided to create my own.

Lord, thank you for the blessings that are our children.  Thank you for the joy and laughter they bring to our lives every day, and thank you for the opportunities we have each day to not only be a teacher to them, but to be taught by them.  Please help us to not only acknowledge their differences but to celebrate them.  Please help me to be the different parent that each child needs.  Please help me help each of them be the best they can be, and yet be humble.  Please help me show them each how to take pride in who they are, and yet not be vain.  I pray that they are each mentally and emotionally strong, and yet that they will show compassion and empathy in everything they do.  I pray that we, as a parents, will be strong enough to make the tough choices, yet always loving and patient.  I pray that our hearts be filled with peace and open to His guidance.  I pray that we all be forgiven for our mistakes.  May we always remember our many blessings, and be grateful for the new opportunities each day brings.

I am trying to keep this close to my heart!

Parenting

I kind of didn't want to write today...and I still don't.  But, it's been over a week and I guess I should update life.

There have been good things happening...and not-so-good things.  Catherine's behavior was pretty rough last week, but other than that she is doing great.  Her determination for school is amazing.  She is doing yearbook and drama club after school and really enjoys her activities.  She is so goofy I often role my eyes, but there are other times her goofiness is exactly what I need at that moment.

Thomas is struggling with middle school in terms of his grades.  There is a lot less "hand holding" at this level and he needs to remember to turn the work in on his own and not wait for a teacher to ask for it.  He also needs to understand that the chrome books (from h***, as far as I'm concerned) is a tool for the classroom and not be constantly playing games.  He is doing yearbook with Catherine and has also joined engineering club.  I absolutely love seeing him grow up into the person  he is becoming.

Robert is still on crutches.  It's very disappointing because it basically means the end of cross country season after he had worked this summer and made such great strides.  He seems to be taking his disappointment out on his school work by not doing it anymore.  His grades have absolutely tanked.  Last evening was parent teacher conferences and it was not a lot of fun to be a part of that.  He has some very tough choices and hard work that need to happen right now or there won't be any dive this winter either.  He's also got some swollen lymph nodes and while the blood test came back negative, the doctor feels it needs to be explored further.  We go Tuesday for that appointment.  He's just having a tough go of it right now, and as his parents, so are Andrew and I.

This new computer isn't exactly great either.  I'm not sure why it seems to have so many bugs, but hopefully things will smooth out as it continues to update and I become more familiar.

Hard to believe the end of September is upon us.  We actually had the a/c on for about 36 hours but the weather has definitely changed.  Fall is here!

The phrase "GRRR" comes to mind

My computer absolutely bit the dust last weekend.  Dead and more dead.  Fortunately, I had received a warning that hard drive failure was imminent and made sure things were backed up...mostly...but that's another story.  We debated about simply replacing the hard drive, but the computer was 5-1/2 years old so we decided to go ahead and get a new one (Merry Christmas to us...cause that's the way it's gonna be!).  Of course, it means all new updates of programs, software, etc.  And I very, very, very much dislike change.  In fact, I really can't tell you how much I dislike it because it isn't nice to use the "h*te" word.  I've especially missed reading other blogs, and I'm really looking forward to figuring things out...hopefully sooner rather than later!  I had everything down to an absolute routine and it's suddenly gone...GRRRR!

The last two days have been fabulous

The weather the last two days has been almost absolutely perfect.  It is such an absolute blessing.  My heart could not be more full of gratitude.

My mother and paternal grandmother came down yesterday afternoon. It was such a nice visit. They stayed for several hours and we ordered some dinner in.  My aunt even came in to visit for a bit.

This morning was equally wonderful. It has been an absolutely insane couple of weeks, but with the house picked up for company yesterday, I really had nothing that had to be accomplished this morning.  I allowed me myself to go back to sleep after everyone left for school, and sleep I did!  Even after getting up, I've allowed myself to relax by reading some magazines and taking it easy. I've been enjoying the views, I and really just can't how grateful I am for my life!

Thankful for the ipad

Several years ago we bought a "family iPad" as a Christmas present for the kids. It has never been my favorite piece of technology, but today I am very grateful we have it!  Last weekend the desktop notified me that hard drive failure wads imminent...and yesterday it died. None of the laptops we have purchased over the years are working either, so while it isn't terribly convenient, I am extremely grateful I'm not completely cut off from my email...and blog!

One of those weeks

This was one of those weeks where nothing went terribly wrong (very grateful), but nothing was quite right either.  It was an extremely busy week as well, and I can't believe how much time I spent in my vehicle.

Robert is continuing to attend cross country practice even though he can't run.  He can ride the stationary bike and work on some core exercises.  He can still play his instrument, so even though he can't march, he's still at those practices as well.  Catherine & Thomas have joined yearbook, and Catherine has also joined drama club while Thomas has joined engineering club.  They also participated in the after school community bowling, and we had some doctor appointments to go with it.  Andrew worked one evening and had a meeting another, and I had a meeting myself one evening.  I also attended the football last evening to help out with some things and have spent some time at the high school helping with some things there.  And of course, I started my own new job on Monday afternoon, so it's been a very busy week.

On the upside, everyone is healthy, and we are together, so that is all that really matters!

The tooth situation got really ugly

Friday was T.O.U.G.H.  Thomas's tooth was still bothering him a great deal, to the point that I ended up taking him to school Friday morning because he was having a little bit of a meltdown.  He had a birthday party to attend after school, and then that evening all you-know-what broke loose.  He mentioned that "something yellow" was in his mouth, and I recognized it as puss from an infection.  After his shower, his mouth had blood everywhere and the gum was very swollen and deep purple.  If he hadn't already been on antibiotics we'd have gone straight to an urgent care, but I decided it could wait until morning.  And it was amazing...by morning things looked better and Thomas had no pain.  He took not one bit of pain medication at all yesterday and is back to being his chipper self.  I am so very, very grateful that we did get into the dentist when we did, and I feel badly for not getting him there sooner.  On the upside, he is doing well, and hopefully all will go well next week for his procedure!

Today's new opportunity

I am so excited about a new opportunity that is happening today.  Last winter, our pastor had approached me about possibly being our church's assistant treasurer.  It's only about 15-20 hours per month, so 3-4 hours per week.  It is absolutely a perfect opportunity for our family!  It gives me the flexibility to set my own hours, for the most part, and gives us just a little bit of extra money.  I don't actually take over the job until December of January, but my training begins today.  I am so very excited about this!

A long short week

For only four days, it was a pretty long week.  I think that is often the case though.  So many want still want to get five full days of things in which make for some long days.

The biggest news in our house comes in the form of two doctor appointments.  Thomas's tooth has been bothering him for quite some time and earlier this week it got really bad.  Andrew and I had forgotten it was the same tooth that he broke off over three years ago, and that the dentist had warned that even though it had reattached and all was well, there was no guarantee we wouldn't have problems down the road.  The dentist informed us yesterday that the nerves are very inflamed.  He is on some antibiotics, but is going to need to go in to the roots/nerves and "clean them out".  Unfortunately, he can't be seen until the week after next, and seeing my little guy so uncomfortable is hard on this mom's heart.  Robert also had an appointment yesterday with a sport medicine doctor.  He'd been have recurring leg pain for about three weeks and the trainer suggested he really should be seen.  The x-ray was inconclusive, but the doctor strongly feels there is a stress fracture.  He is on crutches for at least the next two weeks, then will be reassessed and we'll go from there.  So no running, marching, or even walking, for two entire weeks.  I'm proud of the way Robert is handling this disappointment, and we point out that we don't want any permanent damage to occur that would keep him from running in the future.

I've had a great deal of responsibilities and time commitments involving my volunteer "job" this week.   It's a little frustrating when everything seems to hit at once and everyone seems to need something done.  I spent literally all day at school on Wednesday, and can't even count the number of hours I've put in.  I keep telling myself it's all for a good cause, and the kids will benefit!

We are having some issues parenting teens and tweens as well.  Some of the stress they've brought on themselves, which is not only makes me sad, but also frustrated and at times angry.  The harder ones though, are the hurts that are just part of being that age.  Each one of them has a piece of my heart with them, and when their heart hurts, so does mine.

Of course today's date of September 11 helps none of this.  Such a terrifying date in American history, and one that could realistically be repeated at any time.  It's also a wet, dreary afternoon, and that doesn't help either.  I wish our family could spend the evening together, but Robert and Andrew will be at the football game (Andrew does stats, and although Robert can't march he can play in the pepband).  Today is a day that has been pretty continual prayer for peace!

Our long Labor Day weekend

It was a very nice weekend...most of the time.  Friday began with a bang...for hours.  A horrible thunderstorm came through and I kept waiting for the lighting and thunder to pass so I could finish running errands, but after two hours I just had to go and get it done.  It meant that the football game couldn't be played, and that made Saturday a very long day for Andrew, but everyone was able to be in bed at a decent hour Friday since the cross country bus left at 7AM Saturday!

The meet Saturday morning went really well, and for the first time Robert ran under 20 minutes.  He came in third on his team this time, and we were really pleased with the race.  We had to rush back to town to get him to a band function and he was there the bulk of the day.  In the meantime, I was able to watch a lot of football while Andrew was working at the girls soccer game and rescheduled football (which had more weather delays before they were finally able to get the game in).  That evening I caught Robert in some lies that break my heart and make me sick.  It's not the same really big stuff that we were dealing with last year, but it's the same little stuff that happened last fall that started leading to the really big stuff.  I take comfort in knowing that Andrew and I are doing the best we can (even according to "experts") and I just pray.  A lot.

Sunday I woke up feeling lousy, but took Robert to church before I took him to work.  I ended up admitting defeat and taking some heavy duty cold medicine and allowed myself to sleep the evening into overnight.  Andrew took the kids to our friends house for a cook out and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  I'm so grateful that I woke up feeling better yesterday.  We were able to spend a little bit of the day at my mother's house, and both of my grandmother's, my aunt, my sister, and two cousins and their kids (including our newest addition, Ava, just three weeks old!) were there as well.  It was such a great opportunity to be able to visit with them, and I was grateful for the day.  We got home just in time to get Robert to band practice and it allowed Thomas, who was an emotional basketcase, to get some extra sleep.

Overall, it was a decent weekend...and now we are ready for another busy week!

The early mornings are starting to feel really early

The newness of the school year is definitely beginning to wear off, and the mornings are getting a little rougher around here.  Thomas in particular is no longer jumping out of bed, although he is still making it to the bus in the mornings.  I think I might suggest that tomorrow be a day where I drive them so he can sleep in a bit.  Catherine has entered the phase of life where she is completely convinced that her parents are the dumbest people on earth and are put here only to make her life difficult.  Since she has decided that she knows everything, not only will she not listen to us, but she feels the need to make sure Thomas knows what he is doing as well.  As you can imagine, this does not particularly go over well because a) Thomas doesn't really want to hear it and b) Thomas has more common sense than Catherine and realizes that she doesn't always have the answers she thinks she has.  The disagreements are constant and it is beginning to wear on my nerves...especially first thing in the morning!

Ready for some football!

I have been counting down to today!  I know that sometimes, the Thursday night college football lineup is nothing to get excited about, but I'm just glad that it's here, and there is going to be something to watch on TV.  Tonight my game of choice is Michigan vs. Utah.  Everyone knows as an OSU fan we can't be rooting for Michigan, but honestly, I'm looking forward to them being a better team...it makes it all the more delightful when they lose to the Buckeyes!!!!!  I am also very excited about the Buckeyes having the Monday night game at Va Tech (although it might make Tuesday a very long day) and of course our Fighting Irish play Texas Saturday evening.  Loving this weekend!

Last night's dream

Last night (more accurately, this morning) I had a dream that I saw my dad.  In this dream, I was back at my job where I worked with him.  I had turned around, and there he was, the man I knew before he was ill.  He looked great and there were no oxygen tanks.  In my dream, I began to cry because I knew he really wasn't there.  I began to walk towards my desk and my dad's best friend/boss came out of his office to ask why I was crying, and I cried even harder because I knew he wasn't really there either.  I was trying to explain to someone that I had seen them so vividly even though I knew they weren't there...and that's when I woke up.  It was one of the very few dreams I've ever had where I wake up and I'm either actually crying or very near to doing so.  While seeing my dad look so good was in some ways very peaceful, this particular dream was more upsetting than peaceful.  Frotunately, I was able to fall back to sleep and it wasn't how I began my day.  I sure do miss that man.

Sixty five years

Sixty five years ago today my paternal grandparents were married.  They were wed in my grandmother's parents' living room by a Rev. Floyd.  I remember that my parents had us all go out to dinner for their 40th anniversary, and then my aunt, uncle, & cousins gathered together at my parents' house for their 50th.  Grandpa passed away less than two weeks before their 54th anniversary.  He had suffered for over seven years with Parkinson's disease, and spent the final seven weeks of his life in a nursing home.  Grandma had been such a devoted, conscientious, and selfless caregiver during his disease.  I was heartbroken when he passed, not only because I would miss him, but because I knew how much Grandma had loved him.  I know they had so many wonderful years together, and I'm sure Grandma feels like it went by in the blink of an eye.  I'm very grateful for the 30 years I had him in my life, and I'm very grateful for the example of dedicated love I was able to witness!

It's a slow process

As a sixth grader, Thomas is in his first year of band.  Years ago, we had thought perhaps he would want to play the trumpet like Robert does.  However, he wanted to do his own thing and I can't blame him.  He decided saxophone was to be the instrument for him!  We had been very blessed that Robert's trumpet we were able to purchase used (although there was still sticker shock!) and Catherine has used my clarinet so that was free (my favorite!).  I had put off and put off worrying about getting Thomas a sax, in part because he changes his mind and I wanted to make sure that was what he really wanted.  Finally at the beginning of August, I decided it was time to get serious.  I was able to connect with a friend's sister, who had purchased a used sax eight years ago that had been sitting in her living unused for the last seven years.  We were able to get a great deal on it, and Thomas was very pleased.

Even though school began two weeks ago, yesterday was the first day the students were expected to play their instruments.  Thomas was excited that they learned a note.  I had to chuckle to myself at the patience of the instructors in teaching and listening to just one note, the exact same note, over and over again.  Today when the kids got home, I asked Thomas if they had worked on a note today.  He enthusiastically answered, "yep!"  I replied, "Now you know two notes," and he responded, "Nope.  Still the same one."  I smiled at his enthusiasm over knowing just this one note...and again I admire the instructors who can teach this!

New month, new background (and new weather)

Another new month has arrived.  I'll be honest, August felt like it took forever.  It wasn't a bad month (gratefully) but it just felt like September would never get here!  Here we are though!

Ironically, the weather has changed as well.  One would generally think that going from August to September, a weather change would mean cooler temps.  Oh no!!!  It is hotter than the blazes around here, and going to get hotter all week!  This is not my kind of weather at all!  I am fortunately in that I don't have to be out in it much, but Robert is really going to have some very long, hot days.  I almost feel ridiculous that my new background looks fallish...it does NOT feel it around here!

I am so looking forward to Labor Day weekend and all that it is going to bring...in the form of college football!!!!

Eye opening

As I suspected, last night's cross country meet was very eye opening.  It confirmed one thing I already knew...our team is not at all good.  We had not one single male runner who finished in the top half of the race.  Robert set a new personal best, but he came in sixth on our team alone...and finished in the bottom 1/5 of the overall field.  The third mile really does him in.  He's winning the sprint challenges at practice and he can win the two mile competitions, but that third mile, yikes.  It was a good experience for him to see where he really is and hopefully give him some ideas for where he will want to be!

Cross country begins tonight

I have changed my blogs to show runners...tonight is our first cross country meet.  Very difficult to believe that in these parts where football is KING, there is a Friday night cross country meet.  This is reality though, and we are very excited about it!

Robert worked hard on his running this summer.  He was pretty devastated that his poor choices led to us not allowing him to swim, and our routine during many of the kids' evening practices involved him running three miles...the same distance as a cross country race.  He wasn't running for times, he was just out there running.  During most of the summer he ran at least four days a week.  We were aware of the fact that between the seniors who graduated and a family with a superstar runner who had moved to another state, Robert was probably going to be one of the top 7 (considered varsity) runners.  However, some others that had consistently finished ahead of Robert last year decided not to run this year, and we were certain his races would now count toward team points.  We were astounded however, when he came home from practices and was telling us that he was winning every single challenge his team was having.  Between those who did not return, and Robert's hard work this summer, he is currently the top runner on the team!  However, his times are no where near where we would need them to be for him to be considered competitive.  This is why we are so excited about tonight's race.  He feels part of his time is the fact that there isn't really anyone on the team who is challenging him, and that he isn't giving it his all.  Tonight is going to be a huge meet, and we are really looking forward to seeing where he stacks up against others.  To be totally honest, I don't expect him to be among the top runners finishing.  However, I believe he will be #1 or #2 from our school, and I'm looking forward to him having a legitimate picture at what kind of time he needs to achieve.  We are really excited about this season!

An unexpectedly emotional evening

Since the weather is absolutely gorgeous, I asked Andrew if he would go with me to our high school girls' field hockey game when we took Robert to band practice.  My cousin plays on the team and I wanted to see her play at least once.  We went up to chat with her afterwards and just wanted to let her know that we are here for her.  Her father (my first cousin) has essentially abandoned her to go off and have the time of his life with his new girlfriend.  In addition, her grandfather (my uncle - dad's sister's husband) is not speaking to her.  I completely acknowledge that Emily said some things she shouldn't have said, but Uncle Darrell has to be the adult in the situation and reach out to her.  This poor girl has really been through the wringer with this side of the family in the past year.  She lives with her mom which is about a half hour away, but has open enrolled here in our school district so she can finish out her last year of school.  We reminded her this evening that she is welcome to crash with us any time at all that she would like to do so...and as she thanked us profusely, she began to cry as she said she just doesn't have anyone here.  I, of course, cried right along with her as I gave her a hug and told her I loved her.  She does not deserve the way the adults in her life have treated her.

After that, since it was still very early, Andrew and I decided to walk over to the volleyball game.  I was really looking forward to the varsity match, but wanted to call and check on Catherine and Thomas to make sure all was okay at home.  Thomas answered the phone, and he was very upset.  Those two have spent the summer at our neighbor's house playing with the new kittens.  One of the kittens isn't going to make it much longer, and the neighbor kids decided to bring that kitten over so that Thomas and Catherine could have one last moment.  I've written before how my little guy loves all animals, and his heart was broken.  I asked if he needed us to come home, and he said he did.  He actually told me that he wanted a hug from his mom.  I got home and he crawled up in my lap and the tears filled his eyes...and of course mine too!

I know that we are all going to be okay, but it's been a much more emotional evening than I expected!

One more day this week

We have already reached the point of the year where the weekends are sooooo necessary.  We have nine days in...169 to go!  Not wishing it away though!

We have a very busy weekend planned, but nothing compared to the weekends when cross country AND marching band are going to be in full force.  The crazy schedule is just about the only thing I don't like about this time of year.  The weather is gorgeous right now, and fall festivities are beginning.  I'm holding on to this sense of peace for as long as I can!

National Dog Day

I had to change my blog design today in honor of National Dog Day!  We don't have a dog ourselves, and to be honest, I am much more of a cat person, but Thomas loves ALL things dog in a way that I can't even describe.  So today, this blog is for the dogs!

Candle weather

I love the fact that it is currently cool enough to have a candle lit.  To me, candles are so cozy, and I just can't bring myself to have them lit when it is hot outside.  As soon as it turns cooler though, I have often light a candle, and Yankee candles are among my favorites.  I especially love the fall scents, and a few of the winter/candle scents, but I'm not crazy about floral or summer scents.  That's probably another reason I don't light them much in the summer!

I also love the fact that we've been able to pull out the sweatshirts and the overnights are just so comfy!  I know this weather isn't going to last, but I am certainly going to enjoy it while it does!

Another one of "those" days

I vividly remember December 17, 2013.  On that day, Thomas was home sick from school, we had a major behavioral issue with Robert, Catherine threw such a temper tantrum that she picked up a plate of spaghetti and hurled it across the room hitting a dining room wall, Andrew's mother was admitted to the hospital, our laundry room flooded, and our sun room flooded...all of this while still dealing with Andrew's brother rehabbing from a stroke suffered the day after my father had died...just 33 days before.  It is one of those days that you get through by the grace of God, and you look back on and laugh about one day.  FYI, I am not sure we are there yet. :)

Yesterday was one of those days...although in many ways not nearly as bad.  At the same time, it will ultimately prove to be much more expensive, most likely.  It was a Monday of week 2, and everyone was just a little less pleasant about everything.  No one was rude or misbehaving, but it wasn't exactly our best morning ever.  I understand that this is the first time in our family that five people are up and at 'em at 6AM.  This is an adjustment that we ALL need to make and we ALL need to work on it.  Since I was up I decided to get an early start on my laundry.  After all, I had put it off all weekend and it needed to be done!  As I was hanging the first (and what turned out to be only) load of the day, I noticed ink stains on some of the clothing.  Sure enough, Robert had managed to get a blue ink pen into the washer, and some of my clothing was ruined.  I was grateful though, that it wasn't the entire load, and mostly it was just clothes I wear only around the house anyway.  Unfortunately, I had also noticed during the wash cycles that the water was backing up into the sink.  Not the first time we've had this problem!  I tried a few "home remedy" fixes and when they didn't work, I let Andrew know that he needed to rent a pipe snake on the way home.  We got to work with that as soon as he arrived home.  After a great deal of time, we thought perhaps we had been successful in that we heard water running.  And there it was running right into the undersink cabinet...perfectly crystal clear, clean, fresh water.  How is that even possible??  We were working in the DRAIN PIPE!!!  Needless to say Andrew quickly turned off the main water line.  We did some experimenting and we have absolutely no idea what may have happened.  We have no idea if this is related to the back up or if somehow we managed to put a hole in both our drain pipe and incoming line.  All we know is that we are currently functioning without any water, although we are able to turn it on for VERY quick showers as long as we have a bucket under the sink.  That's actually helpful though, as we can then use that bucket of water to flush our toilets.  Fortunately, the plumber is able to come out this afternoon.  Hopefully we will have running water again by this evening!

Much less dramatic, although equally frustrating, was an issue with Robert and his schedule.  In the fall he is involved in both marching band and cross country.  He is not the only one, and both the band director and cross country coach are aware and things seem to work out.  This Friday though, was the first major conflict we've had in our two years.  There is both an away football game and meet.  I wasn't concerned though, because not all band members go to all of the away games...you are simply assigned to two of them.  I put in writing back in the spring about this conflict, and the director and I even had a conversation about it, so I wasn't worried about Robert being assigned this game.  Unfortunately, not only was he assigned to the game, but he claims the directors almost didn't believe him (Friday meets are VERY rare) and told him he'd have to find his own replacement.  Needless to say, I am very frustrated.  What is the point of communication and doing the right thing if it isn't going to matter?  He simply never should've been assigned to this game in the first place.  I have an email into the director and am hoping this can be easily resolved.  Trust me when I tell you that one person is NOT going to make or break a pep band at a football game.   I know in the big scheme of things this is minor, but we have so many dramatic issues with Robert that I find it very frustrating to have to deal with one that never should have occurred in the first place.

At the end of the day though, I felt so much peace.  These aren't the worst things that have happened to us this year, and for the most part everything should be resolved.  A hassle is just a obstacle on the way to a resolution!

More beautiful weather

This gorgeous weather just continues right along...it is absolutely spectacular!  In fact, the evenings and early mornings are down right chilly.  It honestly feels more like September than August, but we will gladly take that!

As we are into week 2 of school, everything continues to roll along.  I am so impressed with how the kids are getting up and moving each morning.  I know it won't last the entire year, but so far seven days have gone well!

An amazingly beautiful Saturday morning

During the school year, Saturday mornings are pretty much the best time of the week...and to have one as beautiful as this one is, AND to have nothing scheduled...well it just doesn't get better than this!

Last evening Andrew and the boys returned to our former town for a scouting ceremony.  I felt badly as it turned out Thomas had attained his first rank, but since I didn't know I didn't go.  I'm pretty fabulous at being a lousy scout mom.  Fortunately Thomas minded not one little bit.  I took a Benadryl after everyone arrived at home and slept blissfully for over 10 hours.  The temps last night were in the 50's, and it was just absolutely gorgeous weather.  This morning I am even wearing a sweatshirt because it is too chilly without one.  LOVE IT!  Robert has to work this evening but for only two hours so we pretty much have almost all day to just enjoy our day!

A beautiful day for the end of a great first week

The weather, since yesterday morning, has been GORGEOUS!  I truly can't imagine how it could be more beautiful.  It's really too bad Robert hasn't had any cross country meets where we could all be out enjoying it!

Overall, the first week seems to have gone well.  I am particularly impressed with how everyone is up and moving each morning.  I know this isn't going to come close to lasting the entire year, or probably even far into the next month, but we've had five really good mornings.  We were able to meet the teachers at the middle school last evening (although we knew most of them already) and I'm excited for the school year.  I am also particularly excited that we get to sleep in tomorrow morning!!!!

Move in day

Today is move in day at our local university.  It is the biggest freshmen class ever, and I can only imagine what it looks like in town.  I'll get to find out later this afternoon though, as I have a meeting at church.  I'm planning to leave about 1/2 prior to the beginning to make the 2 mile drive.  Sadly, I'm not joking.  It is ridiculously crazy.

Ironically, it was exactly 23 years ago today that I was one of these freshmen moving onto this very campus.  My goodness, it doesn't seem as though nearly a quarter of a century has passed since that day.  There are still things I vividly remember for that day.  I remember that I drove down with my mom and my sister and grandmother drove down separately.  Dad had to work, but he and my sister made another trip down over the weekend.  I'm excited for the students are beginning their college careers today, but I'm not excited about the traffic!

A successful first day

Everyone had a good day of school yesterday...only 177 more to go!  Seriously though, Thomas has done well in managing the transition so far, although I expect him to be exhausted by the end of this week.  Robert is already exhausted as he had forgotten the rigors of participating in both cross country and marching band.  Add in an honors class and a job, and he was already pretty tired last night.  As with anyone, he is easily irritated and frustrated when tired, and the moody teen is back!  Overall though, things are going well and we are all looking forward to the year!

They are out the door

I have been alone in this house for the last 20 minutes...and have another eight hours until anyone comes home!  With Thomas being on the same schedule as everyone else this year it's a different routine...I don't have to be "clock watching" in the morning to make sure I get him up and ready to go.  In fact, I told Andrew last evening that if I fall back to sleep in the mornings, there is nothing I have to get up for again until everyone comes home!  Obviously that isn't going to be a daily occurrence, but I suspect there will be those days!  I am also looking forward to not having to worry about Thomas's bus arriving home at 4:30.  It's not going to be a carefree evening as Robert has both cross country and band and won't be home until nearly 9:00, but I am excited about this year...more than I have been in a long time!

A perfect summer dinner for the end of summer

In spite of the fact that the official end of summer is well over a month away, and even the generally recognized "unofficial" end of Labor Day is three weeks away, we all know that for our household, "summer" is over.  Ironically this week is going to be one of the hottest, but it is what it is.  Regardless, Saturday evening we had a perfect summer meal.  I stopped by the local farm market and purchased a dozen ears of corn.  We cooked that up with tater tots and baked beans...and it was a great summer meal to end our summer!

His sweet little heart

My youngest child Thomas, has a huge heart when it comes to animals.  To be honest, I can't imagine him finding a career in life that doesn't involve animals.  Animals are huge part of his life every day and have also always been a huge part of his imagination.  And considering Thomas is a pretty tender kid, I just can't put into words how he feels about pets.

That is why I was not happy when we were watching a TV show the other day, and onto the screen popped a commercial for the ASCPA.  Let's be honest, this organization uses scare tactics and worse case scenarios to make their point.  I'm not saying that there aren't animal atrocities happening...I'm just saying I don't want them on my TV at 9:00 in the evening.  I kind of held my breath and looked at Thomas, and while he tried to hide it, it wasn't long before his tears began to fall.  Catherine was hugging him and I was hugging him, and I just can't help but be grateful for his sweet little heart!

Strangely excited

After dreading it all summer, I am actually excited about school beginning tomorrow.  I am excited to have everyone on the same schedule, and I am excited to get the bickering OUT OF THE HOUSE.  I wish there were some things we had done, but that can't be changed now.  I am optimistic and hopeful that everyone is going to have a great year!

Allergy season has arrived

I really can't complain as this is a rather late start, but allergy season has arrived!  The burning and stuffy nose, the itchy and watery eyes...yep, it's here!  I'm usually in flown blown misery mode by now, so the fact that it's really just starting is nice...as long as it doesn't last longer than usual!

We also have the windows wide open right now as we are having some absolutely gorgeous weather.  We've two solid days of just beautiful days, although the humidity is going to being creeping back up this weekend.  It really seems so hard to believe that school begins Monday!

I'm pretty sure it is time for school to begin

While I lament the loss of our carefree time, and I literally almost dread the scheduled craziness of the fall season, it is most certainly time for my children to go back to school.  Gone are the days when we played fun board games together as a family and enjoyed our days together.  Now these children find anything and everything to argue about.  My husband has always said teenagers are a different species and I couldn't agree more.  Don't get me wrong, I love them and we have had a lot of fun together.  At the same time, recognizing that I am going to have over eight hours a day to myself is VERY appealing right now!

He's back at it

Andrew went back to work today.  To be honest, it's probably the most beautiful weather day we've had all summer so it really seems to be a shame that he has to be at school.  He was expecting it to be a shorter day and be home half an hour ago, but I haven't heard from him yet so I'm not certain what his plans might be.  I think the beautiful weather is helping me to cope with the fact that the end of the summer has arrived and I miss him.  I am so grateful I get to share my life with my best friend, and I appreciate, every day, this life we have made together.  I know that we are amazingly blessed to be able to share as much time together as we do!

One more week

Somehow, the summer has flown by yet again.  This time next week everyone will be at their first day of school.  I have such incredibly mixed feelings about it all.  I am looking forward to the routine, but not to the intense schedule.  Call me crazy, but generally speaking I really love having my family home all around me.

Andrew is lamenting the end of this summer more than he usually does.  He said he just really felt we didn't do fun things with the kids.  Robert's work schedule made that incredibly challenging this year, but I don't regret or begrudge him his job.  We are all very grateful that his boss is willing to work with him around both cross country and marching band and keep it going through the fall.

I am working very, very hard in not allowing my concerns and worries about the things, mostly minor, to take over and control my actions and thoughts.  That is one of the problem with all of the quiet time I'll have soon...too much time to think!

Kayaking

This morning the boys' scout troop went kayaking.  Because of a wedding reception we were attending last evening our crew wasn't able to do the camping last night, but they were up before the sun this morning heading to our former town to join them for the kayaking this morning.  I'll be honest, I was a little apprehensive about Catherine and Thomas, but I was assured they were going through a company and not just throwing kayaks in the river.  It sounds as though everyone had a really good time, and they certainly came home wet and dirty enough to indicate that they did!   Thomas thinks it is something that we should all do together as a family sometime and while that might be fun, the cost is something that will make it a while before it happens.  I'm glad they had so much fun this morning though!

Fun family Tuesdays

The last two Tuesdays have been fun for our family.  It's not that we have particularly picked Tuesday to be the "fun" day of the week, but with schedules it turns out it has been the day of the week that has worked out for us!  Last week we drove to the discount bargain theater, and Tuesdays are also half off days!  We watched Tomorrowland and I think it is a movie every teen and tween should watch.  It has a message about hope and making a difference.  I'm not a huge movie fan, but I was entertained by the movie.  Afterward, we ventured to do some clothes shopping, and just overall enjoyed our day together.

Yesterday was the one evening of the week where Robert was off work at 2:00 and had no evening commitments.  We had a family dinner out that Thomas and I especially enjoyed.  The pub fries are slathered in cheese and bacon and cooked in a white wine sauce.  Absolutely yummy!!!  Afterward we again did some back to school shopping, and while I really wasn't feeling well by the time we got home, I laughed so hard in the car and just soaked it up and enjoyed it.  A week from today Andrew is back in the classroom, and the kids are growing fast.  I love having these days when we can get them!

This week's focus

Lately our weeks have had a focus to them.  Two weeks ago it was focusing on the chaos of the paperwork and payments of getting the high school band off to band camp as well as getting uniforms situated for the year.  Last week's focus was getting the house ready for our family gathering yesterday.  I was not just cleaning, but in many cases, deep cleaning various parts of the house.  This week's focus?  School!  In just 14 days, everyone will be out the door for the first day.  While I dread the crazy (and exhausting) schedule (and the behaviors that sometimes accompany it), I am looking forward to being in a routine again, and I am excited about the kids' (and Andrew's) year.  Not going to lie, I am also looking forward to some quiet time every day.  In the meantime, we are starting this week to go through our clothes to see what needs to be purchased as well as making sure the supplies are ready.  Here we go!

Officially underway

Mandatory fall sports practices began today.  Robert is our only runner this year, but he had to be up and at 'em this morning.  Andrew took him because he wanted to check out some things in guidance so I got to sleep in...those days are numbered!  Anyway, this is exactly the reason I am completely okay with school starting as early as it wants to in August, and getting out earlier in May.  It's not like August isn't full of mandatory commitments anyway!

I can also tell that the end of the summer is upon us by the behavior of Catherine and Thomas.  While these two normally get along just fine, the last week not so much.  Part of it is Catherine's hormones and age, part of it is Thomas's age, and part of it is nine weeks of complete togetherness.  Last evening they spent the last hour of the day separated into their rooms and today after being up for 25 minutes, they are right back there.  Just lovely!

A fabulous day with family

Today would've been my aunt's mother's 91st birthday.  She loved to bake and felt dessert was the best part of every meal.  Today is also "Family Day" in Arizona.  Months ago Andrew and I decided to spend the day hosting my mother's side of the family.  We used to get together nearly monthly, but as my cousins and I grew and married and added our own kids (and moved further away) we are lucky to see each other more than once or twice a year.  I spent all week scrubbing the house and this morning we set up canopy tents and tables in our back yard.  I couldn't wait to see everyone!  Just as everyone arrived, sweat bees decided to swarm our backyard and all the tables and chairs were moved inside for "plan b".  Fortunately, our home now can accommodate everything and it was still a very nice afternoon.  A few cousins (and even Robert) had to work, but we really enjoyed the opportunity to get together.  We even took a few group photos that turned out great.  I am so grateful for today!

Rough awakenings

This morning at 4AM, Andrew and I were awakened to the sound of our oldest cat vomiting...all over our bed.  I'll be honest, with my youngest child being 11, I thought we were beyond the stage of cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, but not so it seems.  I cleaned things up, put bedding in the washer, and then proceeded to lay in bed because I couldn't fall back to sleep.  I finally managed to so sometime around 6, and then, astonishingly, the telephone rang at 7AM.  It was my mother.  She was planning to bring down some supplies for our reunion tomorrow, but had decided she didn't really have time and could Andrew meet her as we had discussed earlier.  Sure, but I didn't have to be awake yet!  Thomas had a scout meeting this morning, so needless to say, we didn't bother to go back to sleep.  As it turns out, all three kids were awake and moving prior to 8AM.  I'll be honest, that doesn't bode well for the harmony of the day.

I am hoping that the first eight hours of August are not an indication of the month as a whole.  To be completely honest, August is often my least favorite month of the year, and has been for decades.  Over the course of various years, August brought the deaths of my grandfather and two great-uncles, a friend's leukemia diagnosis, some health issues for myself, my father's BOOP diagnosis, a car accident for Andrew, my dad having shingles, and various other less-than-fun events.  The good news is that there is plenty of time still this month to make it a great one!