I need to be three different people

One of the hardest things about being a parent is knowing how to be the parent that the child needs.  Anyone who knows children knows that each child is absolutely different.  For instance, my oldest is most motivated by money.  This has always been true of him, but is only exacerbated by his teenage years.  He is not motivated by his DS or having a social life (although TV is a pretty good one as well), he is best motivated by his allowance.  He is also set on learning life the hard way...meaning we can warn him of the pitfalls of his choices, but he frankly doesn't believe us.  Catherine is similar in many regards in that she is also very headstrong, but getting on her case does little to no good and only makes things worse.  She has a temper unlike any I have ever seen in a teen before.  While we are grateful she is unlikely to get pushed around in life, she is entirely too old to be throwing tantrums.  As her mother, I also have to learn her triggers and try not to set them off so that we can have a positive productive conversation.  With Thomas, he IS highly motivated by all things electronic, although it rarely comes to the threat of that.  Usually a stern look and a firm voice are all he needs to get himself back on track.

Life as a parent certainly isn't all about discipline though, and again each of my children need a different parent.  Thomas needs lots of hugs and cuddles...they are the very nature of his personality.  He isn't one to really talk about his feelings though.  Robert on the other hand, is a very loving person as well, but much prefers his space and always has.  If we can catch him in the right mood, he is willing to talk about life and his feelings, and especially enjoys sharing accomplishments and compliments.  Catherine just needs to be listened to.  We are trying to help her remember that we aren't in her head and her segues in conversation, while perfectly logical to her, are not to the rest of us.  She shows traits of the "middle child" sometimes where she often seems to say something ridiculous just to have something to say, but she is very reticent to not only talk about, but to display her feelings.  It takes a lot of one-on-one with me to get her to open up, and I'm happy to spend that time to make it happen.

I've written this down because it's just been a little rough lately, parenting two teens and a preteen.  I have prayed fervently that I am somehow able to be the mother each of them needs, and that I can be the best mother I can be.  I know that being their mother is the greatest gift I've ever been given, and I'm so thankful for it each and every day.