I had really hoped this weekend would be very relaxing. It is quickly shaping up to be the opposite. Part of that is just my anxiety though. Andrew has left with the youngest two to visit his parents. He has absolutely no concept of the thoughts I have about this. It is literally one of the most terrifying things I experience because of my anxiety. He forgets though, that I'm the one that suggested he go. I'm the one putting myself through this because I want him to visit his parents. I'm forcing myself to try to get past it...but I need him to leave on time and not be driving in the dark. He doesn't understand and while I'm grateful for that, it's also hard for him to be sensitive to my feelings about it.
In addition, Robert and his girlfriend have had a big fight. Ultimately I think everything will turn out okay, but it's hard. It's really hard as a parent to watch your kid be hurt. And with Robert, we have the added fear that hurting, or the ultimate breakout, will cause him to revert to his former ways. That is just not something I can imagine going through again. I've offered to have her over tomorrow so they can spend some time together and hopefully have a way to work things out.
This evening Robert and I are working at the swim meet, and then I am looking forward to being home and relaxing afterwards!
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