This is the date on which we became a family, and we celebrate every year. Sometimes it takes a while to actually get the celebration in, but we never fail to acknowledge this day. It is THE most important date in our family's lives.
The years have flown by faster than I ever imagined, even though everyone warned me they would. I vividly remember Catherine's last day of preschool, and how I couldn't imagine facing Thomas's last day...it was two whole years away. And his last day came and went nearly eleven years ago. Oh my goodness.
We really have amazing kids. We are very proud of Robert's decision to join the Navy and to serve our country. He is a productive, tax-paying member of society, and is doing what he wants to be doing. I am grateful for that.
Catherine is a fabulous young lady, although we are seeing that "I-am-old-enough-to-be-on-my-own-and-you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do" attitude. I am a firm believer that God provides that attitude in our lives to make it a little easier when the time comes for them to actually be on their own. She has her best friend Austin, and isn't really interested in other friends if drama is involved. She loves her books, and more than anything in the world loves her pets.
Thomas is my sweet and sensitive kiddo. He is somewhat immature for a sixteen-year-old, but there are days when he seems so grown-up, and we get a glimpse into that side of him. He loves taking things apart and putting things together, and he loves anything involving his Dad. He struggles with school, but has come so very far in the last year in terms of being organized and handling things. We are so proud of him for that growth.
Many days I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I get to be the parent. Last week, when things were so rough for Thomas and we were learning about how tough things had been that we didn't know about, Andrew actually cried. We love our kids so much, and it is the worst feeling to see them hurting in any way. We know we can't fix everything for them, but oh goodness, it hurts to watch them hurt. We are more blessed that I can put into words!
Friday, January 31, 2020
A Friday off
I am really and truly off work today! Other than the very first Friday of the year, and the very last day before the semester break, I've only been off one other Friday the entire year. I honestly don't mind working on Fridays at all, but I am also appreciative of a day off. Last evening when I really accepted that I was going to be home, my body began to allow itself to relax. We have a crazy busy weekend, but I have some down time today and I'm always grateful for that!
Our house is currently full of table and chairs, as we are hosting over 40 people tonight for a swim team dinner. Thank goodness I don't have to do the cooking, but getting the house set up took a lot of time! Poor Andrew, he is really tired and there is so much on the horizon for him. We need a snow day in this house, but there are definitely none in the forecast. He is looking forward to having the kids here though, and so am I!
Our house is currently full of table and chairs, as we are hosting over 40 people tonight for a swim team dinner. Thank goodness I don't have to do the cooking, but getting the house set up took a lot of time! Poor Andrew, he is really tired and there is so much on the horizon for him. We need a snow day in this house, but there are definitely none in the forecast. He is looking forward to having the kids here though, and so am I!
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Am I going to have a Friday off tomorrow??
It really doesn't seem possible that I could have tomorrow off. Other than the very last day before the end of the semester that was a Friday when I was off, the last Friday there was school and I was off was September 6. However, the only job available tomorrow is half day phys ed job, and I'm not taking that one. I'll be honest, a Friday off would be awesome, but I'm currently only scheduled two days next week so I don't love the thought of that kind of paycheck.
The upside about this, though, is that we are supposed to host 40 students tomorrow evening for a swim team meal. If I am off tomorrow, that would give me all day to relax and get ready. Realistically though, we are going to get ready this evening because I'm not going to take a chance. We might be watching TV from our bedrooms when all is said and done, but that is the way it will be tonight.
Saturday will be full of the swim league meet, and Sunday there is a church fundraiser before Andrew and Thomas head out to take care of some metal scrapping jobs for Thomas. This time of year isn't very much fun, or terribly relaxing, but the time sure is flying by!
The upside about this, though, is that we are supposed to host 40 students tomorrow evening for a swim team meal. If I am off tomorrow, that would give me all day to relax and get ready. Realistically though, we are going to get ready this evening because I'm not going to take a chance. We might be watching TV from our bedrooms when all is said and done, but that is the way it will be tonight.
Saturday will be full of the swim league meet, and Sunday there is a church fundraiser before Andrew and Thomas head out to take care of some metal scrapping jobs for Thomas. This time of year isn't very much fun, or terribly relaxing, but the time sure is flying by!
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Parenting is not for the weak
Even before I became a parent, I knew that parenting was not for someone who wasn't willing to make sacrifices or become inconvenienced. Parenting is inconvenient...there is never a great time for your child to vomit in the middle of the night! 😁
Beyond that though, parenting will hurt in more ways than anyone could ever imagine...until it is happening. It is rarely a physical pain, although most parents would take that on for their children without even thinking about it. Mostly, it is an emotional pain. Yesterday, I can't even express my feelings in the morning when I worried about Thomas. There were a couple of times when it took everything I had not to sit and cry, and when we finally got the word that it was all okay, I wanted to cry even more, although that would've been tears of relief.
This morning, Catherine behaved in a way that I can't even describe because she broke a rule involving her cell phone, so I relieved her of possession of said phone. One would think I had told her I was cutting off her arm...to her it apparently was the same thing. Andrew and I both worked very hard at reining in our patience during her slamming, throwing, and just general tirade. Oh goodness.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful every day to be the mother of these kiddos...but anyone who thinks it is "easy" isn't being honest. I also completely acknowledge that these two situations are NOTHING compared to what some parents have to deal with, especially those parents who may have a child who struggles with health issues. Parenting at every level is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Beyond that though, parenting will hurt in more ways than anyone could ever imagine...until it is happening. It is rarely a physical pain, although most parents would take that on for their children without even thinking about it. Mostly, it is an emotional pain. Yesterday, I can't even express my feelings in the morning when I worried about Thomas. There were a couple of times when it took everything I had not to sit and cry, and when we finally got the word that it was all okay, I wanted to cry even more, although that would've been tears of relief.
This morning, Catherine behaved in a way that I can't even describe because she broke a rule involving her cell phone, so I relieved her of possession of said phone. One would think I had told her I was cutting off her arm...to her it apparently was the same thing. Andrew and I both worked very hard at reining in our patience during her slamming, throwing, and just general tirade. Oh goodness.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful every day to be the mother of these kiddos...but anyone who thinks it is "easy" isn't being honest. I also completely acknowledge that these two situations are NOTHING compared to what some parents have to deal with, especially those parents who may have a child who struggles with health issues. Parenting at every level is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Monday, January 27, 2020
Another "shout out" to my senior swimmer
Instead of announcements read by principals or counselors each day, we actually have a digital productions class that creates a daily news segment every day. I was a little surprised that Catherine received a "shout out" from the swim coach on the news. Over this weekend, Catherine swam both the 100m fly and 100m back races. This means that for the second consecutive year, at some point during the swim season, Catherine has participated in every event possible. That's my girl! They are physically difficult for her, but she tries everything, she gives it her best shot, and she usually finishes with a smile. I LOVE her attitude, and I appreciate that she has been recognized for it!
Lots of emotions this past weekend
Now that things are resolved, I can write a little more about the emotions of our weekend. Obviously, we were dealing with the emotions of recognizing our senior at her final school athletic senior recognition. Our young lady is amazing, and I'm so thankful for her everyday.
Friday after school, we also received a call from a Principal that an accusation had been made against Thomas. We knew without a doubt that it wasn't true, but we also knew there would be an investigation and he would be questioned by principals. The police even contacted us about the situation. Of course we know all these people, and they know us so it was as best as it could be, but it loomed large over our entire weekend. Things looked like they were really falling apart for him this morning, but finally video evidence proved what I knew all along. My sixteen-year-old son who needed a hug from his mom because his best friend's dog died last week wouldn't hurt anyone. In the meantime, my heart is broken that kids can be so incredibly mean to others. It was an eye opening experience, but it also reaffirmed what I have known all alone...I have a good kid, and others know it as well. After an unbelievably stressful morning, I feel like I can breathe again.
We also had a major church meeting yesterday morning. It was my first year preparing the budget entirely by myself and presenting it to the congregation. It went really well, and I was thrilled that I had the answers in my head to questions that were asked. When I sat down, Andrew said he sometimes forget what a great accountant I am. It was really sweet. The previous treasurer had handled the duties for 30 years (yes, 30 years!) and before her was a man who I had as an accounting professor in my college days. I had a woman tell me that she knew he was good, she knew the one before me was good, and she'd find out whether or not I was any good yesterday. Talk about some pressure! Fortunately, that part went well, although there were other items of the agenda with contention. Two hours after it began, we were finally finished.
And of course upon arriving home in the afternoon, we learned about the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant and his daughter. As a parent, I can't imagine what was most likely a realization that not only are you going to die, but your child is going to die with you. I suppose the fact that she was with her dad is of some comfort, but not enough. My heart breaks for the family. It is unimaginable.
And "yay", today is Monday! We have an incredibly busy week this week this week. We really need a snow day, but there is definitely not one on the horizon!
Friday after school, we also received a call from a Principal that an accusation had been made against Thomas. We knew without a doubt that it wasn't true, but we also knew there would be an investigation and he would be questioned by principals. The police even contacted us about the situation. Of course we know all these people, and they know us so it was as best as it could be, but it loomed large over our entire weekend. Things looked like they were really falling apart for him this morning, but finally video evidence proved what I knew all along. My sixteen-year-old son who needed a hug from his mom because his best friend's dog died last week wouldn't hurt anyone. In the meantime, my heart is broken that kids can be so incredibly mean to others. It was an eye opening experience, but it also reaffirmed what I have known all alone...I have a good kid, and others know it as well. After an unbelievably stressful morning, I feel like I can breathe again.
We also had a major church meeting yesterday morning. It was my first year preparing the budget entirely by myself and presenting it to the congregation. It went really well, and I was thrilled that I had the answers in my head to questions that were asked. When I sat down, Andrew said he sometimes forget what a great accountant I am. It was really sweet. The previous treasurer had handled the duties for 30 years (yes, 30 years!) and before her was a man who I had as an accounting professor in my college days. I had a woman tell me that she knew he was good, she knew the one before me was good, and she'd find out whether or not I was any good yesterday. Talk about some pressure! Fortunately, that part went well, although there were other items of the agenda with contention. Two hours after it began, we were finally finished.
And of course upon arriving home in the afternoon, we learned about the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant and his daughter. As a parent, I can't imagine what was most likely a realization that not only are you going to die, but your child is going to die with you. I suppose the fact that she was with her dad is of some comfort, but not enough. My heart breaks for the family. It is unimaginable.
And "yay", today is Monday! We have an incredibly busy week this week this week. We really need a snow day, but there is definitely not one on the horizon!
Friday, January 24, 2020
Senior night at the pool
Tonight was Catherine's senior night for swim. I had dreaded this and was afraid I would be very emotional. As it was though, there were way too many distractions, not the least of which is that the narrow pool deck terrifies me and I'm afraid of falling in. Catherine chose her friend Max to present her senior gift. I wondered why she didn't choose Thomas, but he was asked by two others, both special needs young men, to present them with their senior gifts.
Each student is allowed to offer thanks to loved ones, but each of my kids received a special "shout out" from a senior. Matt, a special needs young man specifically thanked Catherine, and Eli, another special needs young man specifically thanked Thomas. Others mentioned to us how cool it was that each of our kids were the only ones that received individual thanks like that. I was so proud of my kids. Of course they each have their flaws and they aren't perfect, but they are nice people. I am eternally grateful for that.
This time has all gone so quickly!
Each student is allowed to offer thanks to loved ones, but each of my kids received a special "shout out" from a senior. Matt, a special needs young man specifically thanked Catherine, and Eli, another special needs young man specifically thanked Thomas. Others mentioned to us how cool it was that each of our kids were the only ones that received individual thanks like that. I was so proud of my kids. Of course they each have their flaws and they aren't perfect, but they are nice people. I am eternally grateful for that.
This time has all gone so quickly!
It might seem silly, but it works!
When I work at the elementary school, I receive a small bottle of water. I almost always have my own thing to drink, but I noticed that the small bottle they give fits very nicely in my purse. Last fall, I was out running errands, and I can't even begin to describe how suddenly thirsty I was. It was ridiculous. Fortunately, I realized I had the bottle, and I haven't left home without it since.
My purse also carries tissues, ibuprofen, and now migraine meds. After an episode of heartburn last fall, I also carry antacids. And lip balm, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, etc., etc. You get the picture. I am a prepared person.
I am working today, and I didn't know if the person for whom I am subbing was part of the coffee cart. I always carry my own sugar packets, and I threw in a container of powdered creamer as well. Unfortunately, I didn't get any coffee today, but I'll be prepared for next time!
This though...well this was something! A couple of weeks ago while I was working at church, I was having trouble getting the wireless mouse to work. I called Andrew and asked him to bring me a wired mouse we had at home. Right before he walked into the church, I got it working again. Of course! Anyway, I threw the mouse in my purse and didn't think about it again. Today though, I received a frantic message from the church about a file I had sent for this weekend's annual meeting. I knew what needed to be done and how to do it on a PC, but didn't know how to do it on my Mac laptop. All of a sudden, I remembered that I had that mouse in purse. I plugged it in, and sure enough I was able to make the changes that I needed to make! I realize that I can't be carrying around my entire life all the time, but it sure was handy!
Friday, senior night, and another weekend
We have made it to another Friday! The weeks are flying by. Next week at this time will be the last day of January. I am rarely sad to see January end. Can't really complain about the cold this year since we haven't had much, but still ready to move into February.
Tonight is senior night. My heart is breaking a little, as this is Catherine's final high school senior sport recognition. Wasn't she just finishing preschool? I am still completely heart-broken that no one is coming for her special evening. My sister was very apologetic about it, and there is nothing I can do about it, but it breaks my heart just the same.
Tomorrow the kids and I get to sleep in, and Andrew doesn't have to be up terribly early although he does have baseball. Because of that, the chances of me getting to sleep as late as I would like are pretty slim, because even if he doesn't wake me, the dog will. I don't have to leave my house tomorrow if I don't want, and I'm excited about that. The kids have an all day away swim meet, and Andrew has to work at the hockey game in the evening.
Sunday is going to be a long day at church. We have a meeting at 9, then the service at 10, and finally the annual meeting is after church. The last two years things have gone fairly quickly, but there is a new "vision statement" that is expected to be somewhat controversial. Shouldn't be, but the older members don't like change, and everyone who does want change has their own idea of what should be said. I anticipate this being longer than I would prefer.
Life is moving along so very quickly. I am grateful for the moments I have with my family! And I am especially grateful that today is Friday!
Tonight is senior night. My heart is breaking a little, as this is Catherine's final high school senior sport recognition. Wasn't she just finishing preschool? I am still completely heart-broken that no one is coming for her special evening. My sister was very apologetic about it, and there is nothing I can do about it, but it breaks my heart just the same.
Tomorrow the kids and I get to sleep in, and Andrew doesn't have to be up terribly early although he does have baseball. Because of that, the chances of me getting to sleep as late as I would like are pretty slim, because even if he doesn't wake me, the dog will. I don't have to leave my house tomorrow if I don't want, and I'm excited about that. The kids have an all day away swim meet, and Andrew has to work at the hockey game in the evening.
Sunday is going to be a long day at church. We have a meeting at 9, then the service at 10, and finally the annual meeting is after church. The last two years things have gone fairly quickly, but there is a new "vision statement" that is expected to be somewhat controversial. Shouldn't be, but the older members don't like change, and everyone who does want change has their own idea of what should be said. I anticipate this being longer than I would prefer.
Life is moving along so very quickly. I am grateful for the moments I have with my family! And I am especially grateful that today is Friday!
Thursday, January 23, 2020
I just don't think it is possible to feel rested at 5AM
I went to bed before 9:00 last night. It was awesome. I easily fell asleep. I even got to sleep in an extra ten minutes this morning because Andrew is home today for a doctor appointment. That means, in theory, I had over eight hours of sleep. I should feel well rested today.
But in reality? I am still tired. First of all, that eight hours of sleep, isn't eight hours. I can't even begin to tell how many times I wake up during the night. And I don't just "wake up" and roll over. No, I wake up, and have entire conversations with myself. How much time do I have left to sleep? How much time would I have if it were a day I didn't have to work? How much time if I could just sleep and sleep? It's ridiculous. I do it all during the weekend as well. This past weekend we had two days with 6AM wake ups, and the one morning I did get to sleep in I had a nightmare of a kind I haven't had in years. Three days later, I can still vividly see that nightmare.
Anyway, I don't feel rested. I'm trying to get to bed early, and I'm trying not to be ridiculous at night. I'm trying not to look at the clock in the night because once it has a "4" on it I don't fall back to sleep, which isn't at all helpful. Hopefully this is just a phase of life that passes sooner rather than later!
But in reality? I am still tired. First of all, that eight hours of sleep, isn't eight hours. I can't even begin to tell how many times I wake up during the night. And I don't just "wake up" and roll over. No, I wake up, and have entire conversations with myself. How much time do I have left to sleep? How much time would I have if it were a day I didn't have to work? How much time if I could just sleep and sleep? It's ridiculous. I do it all during the weekend as well. This past weekend we had two days with 6AM wake ups, and the one morning I did get to sleep in I had a nightmare of a kind I haven't had in years. Three days later, I can still vividly see that nightmare.
Anyway, I don't feel rested. I'm trying to get to bed early, and I'm trying not to be ridiculous at night. I'm trying not to look at the clock in the night because once it has a "4" on it I don't fall back to sleep, which isn't at all helpful. Hopefully this is just a phase of life that passes sooner rather than later!
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Lots of friends this weekend
This weekend was full of many good friends. Andrew got to hand out with some friends while he was at the baseball conference, and it's important that he is able to build those relationships. Saturday evening we had very dear friends visit. I had my volunteer shift at the swim/dive meet, but Andrew and the kids enjoyed visiting as well until I could get there. We ordered in some wings for dinner, and we all had a truly lovely visit. The kids were exhausted from their early wake-up and hours longs swim meet, and since they had to do it all over again on Sunday, they went to bed fairly early. All four of us agreed we need to make an effort to do it more.
Sunday was even more fun. Three couples from our former town came over for dinner and to hang out. We all used to get together monthly when we lived closer. We hired babysitters and took turns hosting. We had a blast. When we moved away, it became nearly impossible to do it. Now, the kids are older. They can transport themselves, or stay alone, or can all hang out together. It's just easier. I loved that when we went to dinner the restaurant was nearly empty, and I loved that they gave us a big round table so it was easier to all visit together. My heart was so full that evening. There aren't words to describe how special that group of friends are to us...or the friends we saw Saturday evening and that group.
It reinforces the fact that Andrew and I are ready to move back closer to everyone. I know that we are no where close to that happening, but I really think it will at some point. I'm so grateful for our friends who are still so dear no matter how many miles are between us!
Sunday was even more fun. Three couples from our former town came over for dinner and to hang out. We all used to get together monthly when we lived closer. We hired babysitters and took turns hosting. We had a blast. When we moved away, it became nearly impossible to do it. Now, the kids are older. They can transport themselves, or stay alone, or can all hang out together. It's just easier. I loved that when we went to dinner the restaurant was nearly empty, and I loved that they gave us a big round table so it was easier to all visit together. My heart was so full that evening. There aren't words to describe how special that group of friends are to us...or the friends we saw Saturday evening and that group.
It reinforces the fact that Andrew and I are ready to move back closer to everyone. I know that we are no where close to that happening, but I really think it will at some point. I'm so grateful for our friends who are still so dear no matter how many miles are between us!
My big kid is still my little guy
Yesterday I found out that Thomas's best friend's family had to put their dog down. When Thomas got out of the shower, I told him I was sorry I had some sad news to share with him. His eyes filled with tears, and his chin began to quiver. I asked him if he needed a hug, and he said he did. At that point, my eyes began to fill with tears as well. I hugged him and soaked up the moment. How incredibly lucky am I that my sixteen-year-old son still wants a hug from his mom to help him feel better? Oh my goodness, my heart was so full.
Friday, January 17, 2020
What would I know anyway?
Catherine has a financial issue that has occurred. When I found out about it, a discussion occurred, and I am concerned that she has managed to make herself the victim of a scam. Andrew asked her why she was trying to handle this on her own and reminded her that we are always available for help. We'll even let her handle it, but it's okay (and even a good idea) to ask for advice. We asked why she hadn't done so, and she pointed out to us that she had received an "A" in her personal finance class and she thought she could handle it herself. Her dad pointed out that her mother has an accounting degree with nearly 25 years of experience. She was not impressed! These are the types of decisions that worry me. I'm all about letting my children learn their lessons, but it's frustrating when it can be avoided!
Thursday, January 16, 2020
We are coming up on my not-so-favorite weekend
I'm tired, and I don't see a whole lot of sleep on the horizon, to be honest. Between both my jobs, I will work close to (or a little over) 40 hours this week. I understand there are mothers who do this every week, and that is their reality. The problem in our house is that the kids (and hubby) are treating things like I'm only working 20 hours, and things are NOT getting done. I am extremely frustrated with that, but I guess it is what it is.
Saturday, the kids have to be at a home swim meet...at 7:30AM! Thank goodness it is a home meet! This is a meet with 30-35 teams, so seats are non-existent, and we don't generally go. I'll still be up though, and given the weather forecast I may even drive them. I have to work a volunteer shift from 11-3 that day, and then that afternoon, some very dear friends whom we have not seen in a very long time are coming to visit. We are so excited to be seeing them.
I am hoping to get the house picked up (and maybe even actually cleaned) before they arrive, but I still have several hours I need to get in at church. Oh, and did I mention my hubby leaves after school today for a baseball conference? Yep, he'll be gone almost 48 hours! The timing of this is exactly why I was not thrilled about all of this from the beginning.
Sunday, the kids get to be at the pool even earlier...by 7! This is just never my favorite weekend! Andrew has to work at a baseball clinic (seriously??), and we have plans again Sunday evening, but hopefully there might be able to be some naps that afternoon.
Thank goodness for Monday! Andrew still has the baseball clinic, but the rest of us should be able to just relax. After this weekend, only three more weeks of swim. Catherine is a little emotional about it, but we all appreciate having a little extra down time during the spring.
I don't want to wish time away, but it sure is easier to appreciate the less hectic days!
Saturday, the kids have to be at a home swim meet...at 7:30AM! Thank goodness it is a home meet! This is a meet with 30-35 teams, so seats are non-existent, and we don't generally go. I'll still be up though, and given the weather forecast I may even drive them. I have to work a volunteer shift from 11-3 that day, and then that afternoon, some very dear friends whom we have not seen in a very long time are coming to visit. We are so excited to be seeing them.
I am hoping to get the house picked up (and maybe even actually cleaned) before they arrive, but I still have several hours I need to get in at church. Oh, and did I mention my hubby leaves after school today for a baseball conference? Yep, he'll be gone almost 48 hours! The timing of this is exactly why I was not thrilled about all of this from the beginning.
Sunday, the kids get to be at the pool even earlier...by 7! This is just never my favorite weekend! Andrew has to work at a baseball clinic (seriously??), and we have plans again Sunday evening, but hopefully there might be able to be some naps that afternoon.
Thank goodness for Monday! Andrew still has the baseball clinic, but the rest of us should be able to just relax. After this weekend, only three more weeks of swim. Catherine is a little emotional about it, but we all appreciate having a little extra down time during the spring.
I don't want to wish time away, but it sure is easier to appreciate the less hectic days!
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
How are we half way through January?
I can't believe we are already half way through the month. This year is flying by, and in just over four months our sweet girl is going to be graduating. Yikes.
In the meantime, we are in the thick of swim season, and the kids also had pep band last night. Baseball coaching is beginning, and in fact Andrew will be out of town later this week for a coaching conference. Church work is crazy this time of year. It makes the time really fly by.
Last evening, I made dinner for Andrew and myself. Before leaving for the evening, Catherine had eaten some leftover lasagna, and Thomas had made some eggs for both of them. I just heated some a quick frozen meal since it was just the two of us. Andrew asked where we were going to eat, and I said I was fine eating on the couch. I remember those days from before we were parents, and it seems as though they are coming back around. It just doesn't seem possible that our house is going to be so quiet again. Two more years with Thomas, but I know how quickly those days are going to fly by.
I know I sound a little melancholy, and I am just a bit. Mostly though, I am grateful. I am so very grateful that my life is so blessed that I love it just the way it is!
In the meantime, we are in the thick of swim season, and the kids also had pep band last night. Baseball coaching is beginning, and in fact Andrew will be out of town later this week for a coaching conference. Church work is crazy this time of year. It makes the time really fly by.
Last evening, I made dinner for Andrew and myself. Before leaving for the evening, Catherine had eaten some leftover lasagna, and Thomas had made some eggs for both of them. I just heated some a quick frozen meal since it was just the two of us. Andrew asked where we were going to eat, and I said I was fine eating on the couch. I remember those days from before we were parents, and it seems as though they are coming back around. It just doesn't seem possible that our house is going to be so quiet again. Two more years with Thomas, but I know how quickly those days are going to fly by.
I know I sound a little melancholy, and I am just a bit. Mostly though, I am grateful. I am so very grateful that my life is so blessed that I love it just the way it is!
Monday, January 13, 2020
The emotions of parenting
Yesterday was a day that tugged at my heart, and even brought a few tears to my eyes. Next Friday, Catherine has senior night for swim. She asked if anyone was going to come down for her day. No one besides Andrew, Thomas, and myself were there for her band night, and she pointed out this one would be indoors! With things happening with my grandmother though, I'm not sure my mom will feel like making the trip, or my sister. Catherine said she understood that it is distance to travel. We discussed how I wished more family had been able to be at things for them, but I also pointed out that because we live here and we are all on the same schedule, we get more family time as a whole, not to mention that these are great schools. I know she understands and wasn't really upset about it, but I went into my bedroom and shed a few tears. My kids are awesome, and I know my family knows that too. I absolutely stand by my statement that this is the best place, on a day-in and day-out basis, for our family to be, but it has come at a cost. We are far enough away that it's tougher for my family to get here, and we haven't developed the family friends that would've been there had we stayed in our former town. It probably hurts me a little more than it does Catherine, because I grew up in town with my entire family within just a couple of miles, and someone was always there.
Catherine also swam the 500m freestyle at her meet Saturday. Because it was 90 minutes away and we had other commitments, we didn't go. I HATED not being there for that. Nothing makes me more proud than watching seeing Catherine so determined. She finished 6 seconds faster than last year. She said that at one point she thought she was going to throw up, but she told herself to just keep going. She said that her last lap she could hear everyone in the crowd cheering her on. She also told me that she is totally okay with the fact that she isn't the best, but she wants to keep getting better. I'm pretty sure I thought my heart would explode, and honestly, I got a little teary-eyed again. She is just an amazing young lady, and I am so grateful to be her mother!
Catherine also swam the 500m freestyle at her meet Saturday. Because it was 90 minutes away and we had other commitments, we didn't go. I HATED not being there for that. Nothing makes me more proud than watching seeing Catherine so determined. She finished 6 seconds faster than last year. She said that at one point she thought she was going to throw up, but she told herself to just keep going. She said that her last lap she could hear everyone in the crowd cheering her on. She also told me that she is totally okay with the fact that she isn't the best, but she wants to keep getting better. I'm pretty sure I thought my heart would explode, and honestly, I got a little teary-eyed again. She is just an amazing young lady, and I am so grateful to be her mother!
Saturday, January 11, 2020
Little brother to the rescue
Catherine and Thomas can fight. Man, can they be snarky to each other! But generally, they truly are each other's best friends. Thomas especially adores his big sister. I love watching them interact like that...it melts my heart.
I wasn't home when an incident all started the other evening, but came home before it was all finished. After the kids had arrived home from swim, Catherine had gone in to take a shower. In spite of my many reminders, she put her class ring on the sink counter instead of "away" in her bedroom. Our sweet little cat was hanging out in the bathroom, and saw something shiny she wanted to play with. Of course, the ring went down the drain. Obviously Catherine was very upset, but Andrew told her it would be stuck in the trap so it could be retrieved. Before he could do anything, Thomas sprung into action and said, "I'll take care of it". He retrieved a bucket and immediately got to work to rescue his sister's class ring. I love that he wanted to help his sister and took care of it! I also appreciate that he can be handy with pipes and plumbing! 😁
I wasn't home when an incident all started the other evening, but came home before it was all finished. After the kids had arrived home from swim, Catherine had gone in to take a shower. In spite of my many reminders, she put her class ring on the sink counter instead of "away" in her bedroom. Our sweet little cat was hanging out in the bathroom, and saw something shiny she wanted to play with. Of course, the ring went down the drain. Obviously Catherine was very upset, but Andrew told her it would be stuck in the trap so it could be retrieved. Before he could do anything, Thomas sprung into action and said, "I'll take care of it". He retrieved a bucket and immediately got to work to rescue his sister's class ring. I love that he wanted to help his sister and took care of it! I also appreciate that he can be handy with pipes and plumbing! 😁
Starting Saturday quietly
I had to be up before 8:00 today, which is never preferred on a weekend. However, I had gone to bed at 10:00 last night, so that is still a very decent amount of sleep. The kids needed to be at school at 8:30 for the swim bus, and Andrew wanted to be at school by 8:00 to work out before baseball at 9. So with everyone out of the house, it's going to be a quiet morning. I am always grateful for that!
After Andrew gets home from baseball by noon, he will have a hockey game to work at this evening, then we have to attend an athletic fundraiser. He might also want to attend a girl's basketball game this afternoon, but I want to stay home and get the house put back together...like I've been trying all week to do! Tomorrow Catherine works for a few hours, and she and Thomas will attend a skating event in the evening. Andrew has a late afternoon baseball meeting, and hopefully I will be getting laundry done and things set up for this coming week. I'm only scheduled three days this week, but of course you just never know!
The kids had a meet last evening, and Andrew and I ventured out to dinner since the college students haven't returned yet. It's so hard to believe January is already 1/3 of the way over. Time is flying by as always!
After Andrew gets home from baseball by noon, he will have a hockey game to work at this evening, then we have to attend an athletic fundraiser. He might also want to attend a girl's basketball game this afternoon, but I want to stay home and get the house put back together...like I've been trying all week to do! Tomorrow Catherine works for a few hours, and she and Thomas will attend a skating event in the evening. Andrew has a late afternoon baseball meeting, and hopefully I will be getting laundry done and things set up for this coming week. I'm only scheduled three days this week, but of course you just never know!
The kids had a meet last evening, and Andrew and I ventured out to dinner since the college students haven't returned yet. It's so hard to believe January is already 1/3 of the way over. Time is flying by as always!
Thursday, January 9, 2020
It was really nice to ease back in to reality
Today is the first day I've worked this week. It has been wonderful! I enjoy being here at the high school, but honestly I wouldn't mind at all if I could be home full time. If not though, this is pretty much second best.
I would love to say that I got a lot accomplished, and I did, but our house is an absolutely disaster. Our trees are half way undecorated (probably not even that far). Most of the household decorations are back in the tubs, but furniture can't go back to where it belongs until the trees are down soooo... we are pretty much living in limbo. The thing is that even though I've been off for three days, I've still had to work at the church (and it is busy season), spend a day taking my grandmother to an appointment, and had appointments and meetings. This is life. I work today and tomorrow, and tonight is a home swim meet. So maybe Saturday things will get "done" at home.
It's been nice to transition a little more slowly for me. I am subbing for Andrew today while he is at curriculum meetings. When I got to his room, I noticed the coffee sign on the door and was excited that I would have some hot tea because they do coffee cart on Monday and Friday. Then of course, Catherine pointed out to me that today is Thursday. While I was a little disappointed to there would be no tea, I was thrilled that "my Monday" is already Thursday!
I would love to say that I got a lot accomplished, and I did, but our house is an absolutely disaster. Our trees are half way undecorated (probably not even that far). Most of the household decorations are back in the tubs, but furniture can't go back to where it belongs until the trees are down soooo... we are pretty much living in limbo. The thing is that even though I've been off for three days, I've still had to work at the church (and it is busy season), spend a day taking my grandmother to an appointment, and had appointments and meetings. This is life. I work today and tomorrow, and tonight is a home swim meet. So maybe Saturday things will get "done" at home.
It's been nice to transition a little more slowly for me. I am subbing for Andrew today while he is at curriculum meetings. When I got to his room, I noticed the coffee sign on the door and was excited that I would have some hot tea because they do coffee cart on Monday and Friday. Then of course, Catherine pointed out to me that today is Thursday. While I was a little disappointed to there would be no tea, I was thrilled that "my Monday" is already Thursday!
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Yesterday was a bit of a tough day
Yesterday had a lot of emotion in it. I am very grateful to be off work today in order to "recover" from all of it.
I started by visiting my paternal grandmother. Yesterday was her 89th birthday. I stopped to see her and take a card to her. She was pleased by the surprise. My sister had sent flowers and my mother called. She seemed a little different yesterday. She told me she had decided to put her name in for the assisted living facility on her community campus. I was surprised. She said that she didn't think she needed it yet, but wanted to make sure we all know that is where she wants to be when it is needed. She had trouble balancing her checkbook, and that concerned me, because this woman has always been sharp as a tack. She also mentioned to me how much she misses my dad especially, because she could always talk to him about things no one else understood. I get it, no one should ever have to bury her child. Because my aunt hasn't lived there in nearly 50 years, Grandma and Dad had a stronger connection. As I watched her wave at me from her door as I left, my heart ached for all of it. Changes are coming. I thought back to my childhood, and while I am realistic enough to know those days are long, long over, I am grateful they were so special.
I then went to meet my mom at the nursing facility where my maternal grandmother is currently. It is also on the same campus as my grandmother's community. We were greeted with the information that G.G. had been ill that morning. My mother took a fall right before Christmas, and is in pretty bad shape herself still. I decided I would drive them instead of following them, and thank goodness I did. G.G. needed her walker and a wheelchair in order to make it through the day, and she really didn't feel good. She can't hear, and it kind of seems as though she is just wasting away. Mom said she is certain that G.G. won't be around next year, and she isn't even sure she will make it to summer. I can't disagree. Her doctor appointment yesterday revealed some health issues, but treatments are difficult and invasive...and G.G. is 90. The doctor was running over an hour behind, so I ended up being gone most of the day and not home with my kids. I totally understand and my kids are certainly old enough to be home alone, but I don't want to miss days of being their mother either. Being at medical appointments are tough for me given my personality. It something I've only recently come to understand about myself, and I'm learning to accept that about myself.
I am so grateful for having my grandmothers in my life for 46 years already. That is far longer than most people get to experience having one, let alone two, grandparents.
And of course yesterday American military establishments were attacked by Iranians. It is unnerving no matter what, but even more so with a son in the military. At this time though, I have absolutely no reason to believe there is any chance he will be in harm's way anytime soon.
I am grateful for many things today, not the least of which is some time to myself.
I started by visiting my paternal grandmother. Yesterday was her 89th birthday. I stopped to see her and take a card to her. She was pleased by the surprise. My sister had sent flowers and my mother called. She seemed a little different yesterday. She told me she had decided to put her name in for the assisted living facility on her community campus. I was surprised. She said that she didn't think she needed it yet, but wanted to make sure we all know that is where she wants to be when it is needed. She had trouble balancing her checkbook, and that concerned me, because this woman has always been sharp as a tack. She also mentioned to me how much she misses my dad especially, because she could always talk to him about things no one else understood. I get it, no one should ever have to bury her child. Because my aunt hasn't lived there in nearly 50 years, Grandma and Dad had a stronger connection. As I watched her wave at me from her door as I left, my heart ached for all of it. Changes are coming. I thought back to my childhood, and while I am realistic enough to know those days are long, long over, I am grateful they were so special.
I then went to meet my mom at the nursing facility where my maternal grandmother is currently. It is also on the same campus as my grandmother's community. We were greeted with the information that G.G. had been ill that morning. My mother took a fall right before Christmas, and is in pretty bad shape herself still. I decided I would drive them instead of following them, and thank goodness I did. G.G. needed her walker and a wheelchair in order to make it through the day, and she really didn't feel good. She can't hear, and it kind of seems as though she is just wasting away. Mom said she is certain that G.G. won't be around next year, and she isn't even sure she will make it to summer. I can't disagree. Her doctor appointment yesterday revealed some health issues, but treatments are difficult and invasive...and G.G. is 90. The doctor was running over an hour behind, so I ended up being gone most of the day and not home with my kids. I totally understand and my kids are certainly old enough to be home alone, but I don't want to miss days of being their mother either. Being at medical appointments are tough for me given my personality. It something I've only recently come to understand about myself, and I'm learning to accept that about myself.
I am so grateful for having my grandmothers in my life for 46 years already. That is far longer than most people get to experience having one, let alone two, grandparents.
And of course yesterday American military establishments were attacked by Iranians. It is unnerving no matter what, but even more so with a son in the military. At this time though, I have absolutely no reason to believe there is any chance he will be in harm's way anytime soon.
I am grateful for many things today, not the least of which is some time to myself.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
A few days off
Andrew and I talked about my working last night. We both agreed...I'm going to be pickier the rest of the school year. I have only these few months left with Catherine, and then another two years with Thomas. I want to be home when they are home. So, only half days at any elementary school. It might mean there are more days off, but we also both agreed that is okay as well. If Andrew were being totally honest, he really likes having me off work. He prefers that he not have to clean the house in the evening and be able to just sit and do his things, or even just "be" with our family. I suspect the high school will still be able to find me jobs most days, but if not, I am not going to worry about it tremendously.
To that end, I am enjoying a few days off right now. Yesterday there was nothing, and nothing for today popped up until this morning. I had already agreed to help my mom take my grandmother to a doctor appointment, so I am off again today. Currently nothing is scheduled for tomorrow, and that is fine as well. Christmas needs to be put away and it is crazy busy at church with year-end, so I'm enjoying the gift of not working at school all day!
To that end, I am enjoying a few days off right now. Yesterday there was nothing, and nothing for today popped up until this morning. I had already agreed to help my mom take my grandmother to a doctor appointment, so I am off again today. Currently nothing is scheduled for tomorrow, and that is fine as well. Christmas needs to be put away and it is crazy busy at church with year-end, so I'm enjoying the gift of not working at school all day!
Monday, January 6, 2020
Back to early alarms
Even though I didn't work today, the alarm was still set for over an hour earlier than I'd been up in weeks. Ugh! That is the hard part about this week, and today specifically. In fact, even on "early" days over break, I'd be getting up about now, and I've been up for 90 minutes already. I am helping my mother with a doctor appointment for G.G. tomorrow, so I won't be working tomorrow either. Kind of a nice way to "ease" back into the chaos. And trust me, our calendar is very colorful this week, indicating plenty of chaos.
I was pretty emotional last night for a variety of reasons. One was that I didn't feel quite right, but certainly another was the end of this break. I truly love getting to be a sub, but I am not one that loves being up at 5AM. I also love having my kids at home and having our little family together. With the reality that Catherine will be living in an apartment rather than a dorm, I recognize she most likely will not be around for weeks next year. It is more likely to be days. I regret I didn't take more pictures or play more family games.
The passage of time is hitting me hard right now. One of my grandmothers turns 89 tomorrow, and the other is in a rehab facility. My father-in-law is deteriorating. I can see a great deal of loss in our future, and it pains me. I try very hard to hold on to the happiness that is in each moment!
I was pretty emotional last night for a variety of reasons. One was that I didn't feel quite right, but certainly another was the end of this break. I truly love getting to be a sub, but I am not one that loves being up at 5AM. I also love having my kids at home and having our little family together. With the reality that Catherine will be living in an apartment rather than a dorm, I recognize she most likely will not be around for weeks next year. It is more likely to be days. I regret I didn't take more pictures or play more family games.
The passage of time is hitting me hard right now. One of my grandmothers turns 89 tomorrow, and the other is in a rehab facility. My father-in-law is deteriorating. I can see a great deal of loss in our future, and it pains me. I try very hard to hold on to the happiness that is in each moment!
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Family time capsule
On December 31, 1999, many members of my mother's family gathered together to celebrate New Year's Eve. My uncle Chuck and Aunt Becky decided we were going to be begin a family time capsule in honor of Y2K. I remember my mother didn't go because it had been a bad day with my dad. Many of my cousins were teenagers and a family party wasn't what they were going for either. I remember my grandmother and Aunt Cathy being there, as well as my cousin Philip. I remember staying for a while before I ventured to the house of my best friend, where I celebrated the rest of the evening with friends.
Ten years later, many of our family members gathered together again at my aunt & uncle's house. We opened the capsule and read some of the letters that had been included. We also added to the time capsule. I added more pictures, Robert added a scouting magazine, and Thomas had included a toy car. Very appropriate. Our family grew very much in that decade.
This year, we gathered again, although not on New Year's Eve. I was grateful that my aunt & uncle simply put things out and let us peruse them. In the last ten years although we had gained three new babies, we had also lost my dad, and Aunt Becky's mom, and of course we also lost Aunt Cathy just a few months ago. It allowed us to look at things as we wanted, and overall, it allowed us to just visit. My mom even brought my Grandmother down. It was really a lovely afternoon. I added a picture and wrote a letter about our family. Thomas added a guitar pick. I love that.
I'm so grateful for my family doing this. Not only is it a fabulous way to preserve memories, but I love getting to visit with each other!
Ten years later, many of our family members gathered together again at my aunt & uncle's house. We opened the capsule and read some of the letters that had been included. We also added to the time capsule. I added more pictures, Robert added a scouting magazine, and Thomas had included a toy car. Very appropriate. Our family grew very much in that decade.
This year, we gathered again, although not on New Year's Eve. I was grateful that my aunt & uncle simply put things out and let us peruse them. In the last ten years although we had gained three new babies, we had also lost my dad, and Aunt Becky's mom, and of course we also lost Aunt Cathy just a few months ago. It allowed us to look at things as we wanted, and overall, it allowed us to just visit. My mom even brought my Grandmother down. It was really a lovely afternoon. I added a picture and wrote a letter about our family. Thomas added a guitar pick. I love that.
I'm so grateful for my family doing this. Not only is it a fabulous way to preserve memories, but I love getting to visit with each other!
Saturday, January 4, 2020
It turned out not-so-bad
Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Of course, he had to return to work, and that is a bummer. He doesn't mind so much. I'm grateful that he enjoys his job so much.
On Tuesday, I had realized that although the kids had swim and workout practice last evening, Andrew and I had nothing on our calendar. I got to work and invited about 30 people to join us for a couple of drinks uptown. The college students aren't back yet, and it's awesome to be able to enjoy the establishments without the crowds. I knew it was last minute, but was cautiously optimistic that some could make it. I knew several would definitely try!
Unfortunately, as the days rolled along, more and more "sorry, can't make it" replies were received. I was feeling terrible about the fact that almost no one was coming to celebrate my husband's birthday because I couldn't plan ahead.
And then things went further south. My husband mentioned that the head baseball coach asked if they wanted to carpool to the baseball conference they were attending. What??? What conference?? My husband neglected to mention that he was attending a conference that will require him to be gone for TWO NIGHTS. I had made plans! I was livid. He swears he told me, and I pointed out that had he told me, I would've been planning to be his sub! I pointed out that he is not getting paid to coach so this isn't exactly "work related" as he was trying to claim. It wasn't pleasant.
In the end, only one couple showed up join us last evening...but it was our dear, dear friends from our former town. As Andrew and I said, if it was only going to be one couple, at least it was them! We absolutely loved getting to spend an evening with just them. They are so very dear to us, and I'm so incredibly grateful that they made the effort to be there!
On Tuesday, I had realized that although the kids had swim and workout practice last evening, Andrew and I had nothing on our calendar. I got to work and invited about 30 people to join us for a couple of drinks uptown. The college students aren't back yet, and it's awesome to be able to enjoy the establishments without the crowds. I knew it was last minute, but was cautiously optimistic that some could make it. I knew several would definitely try!
Unfortunately, as the days rolled along, more and more "sorry, can't make it" replies were received. I was feeling terrible about the fact that almost no one was coming to celebrate my husband's birthday because I couldn't plan ahead.
And then things went further south. My husband mentioned that the head baseball coach asked if they wanted to carpool to the baseball conference they were attending. What??? What conference?? My husband neglected to mention that he was attending a conference that will require him to be gone for TWO NIGHTS. I had made plans! I was livid. He swears he told me, and I pointed out that had he told me, I would've been planning to be his sub! I pointed out that he is not getting paid to coach so this isn't exactly "work related" as he was trying to claim. It wasn't pleasant.
In the end, only one couple showed up join us last evening...but it was our dear, dear friends from our former town. As Andrew and I said, if it was only going to be one couple, at least it was them! We absolutely loved getting to spend an evening with just them. They are so very dear to us, and I'm so incredibly grateful that they made the effort to be there!
Thursday, January 2, 2020
New things in the new year
Today was Andrew's last day off. He has a work day tomorrow at school. I've really enjoyed these two weeks off and I'm never ready for them to end. I'm working very hard though, on learning to relax and enjoy time during the week as well.
We have also taken temporary custody of my grandmother's cat. Grandma moved into a rehab facility on Tuesday. She was fading over the last two weeks, but doctors didn't find anything wrong with her. We think part of it is depression, and that led to not eating and that led to mostly sleeping. Part of her need for rehab is just to build her strength.
Last year at her 90th birthday party, she asked (and we agreed) to take the cat if she couldn't care for her. G.G. is going to be in rehab at least a month. We drove up today to get the cat. Honestly, she is a sweetie. Of course, she is afraid of her new environment. She vomited in the cat crate about ten minutes from here. We got her cleaned up, but she doesn't want much to do with us right now. We are keeping her isolated in our sun room, which means the cat food has to be brought out into our living areas, but put up because our pup will eat it otherwise. We've also had to bring out one of their litter boxes, and hope they start using it. There is some concern that she has an infection (although I don't see any indications) and we can't get her into a vet until Tuesday. Hopefully she will be fine. She really is a sweet cat. The plan is that G.G. gets her back when she returns, but in the meantime we will take good care of her!
We have also taken temporary custody of my grandmother's cat. Grandma moved into a rehab facility on Tuesday. She was fading over the last two weeks, but doctors didn't find anything wrong with her. We think part of it is depression, and that led to not eating and that led to mostly sleeping. Part of her need for rehab is just to build her strength.
Last year at her 90th birthday party, she asked (and we agreed) to take the cat if she couldn't care for her. G.G. is going to be in rehab at least a month. We drove up today to get the cat. Honestly, she is a sweetie. Of course, she is afraid of her new environment. She vomited in the cat crate about ten minutes from here. We got her cleaned up, but she doesn't want much to do with us right now. We are keeping her isolated in our sun room, which means the cat food has to be brought out into our living areas, but put up because our pup will eat it otherwise. We've also had to bring out one of their litter boxes, and hope they start using it. There is some concern that she has an infection (although I don't see any indications) and we can't get her into a vet until Tuesday. Hopefully she will be fine. She really is a sweet cat. The plan is that G.G. gets her back when she returns, but in the meantime we will take good care of her!
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Happy New Year...2020!
It's one of my favorite days of the year...New Year's Day. A day with few (if any) commitments, and lots of good college football. I must point out though, that with the creation of the football playoff system, the day isn't quite as full as it used to be. Only four games today, but four pretty darn good games!
I am so in love with today. Andrew and Thomas are picking up Thomas's best friend from our former community. We've been gone over six years, and those two still love hanging out. Such an amazing blessing.
Another blessing is the friends with whom we rang in the new year last night. The years of friendship in that room are countless. Life changes, but there was so much love in that room. I'm grateful for the times we are able to spend together, especially as they become more difficult to find.
Happy New Year everyone! May 2020 be the best year yet!
I am so in love with today. Andrew and Thomas are picking up Thomas's best friend from our former community. We've been gone over six years, and those two still love hanging out. Such an amazing blessing.
Another blessing is the friends with whom we rang in the new year last night. The years of friendship in that room are countless. Life changes, but there was so much love in that room. I'm grateful for the times we are able to spend together, especially as they become more difficult to find.
Happy New Year everyone! May 2020 be the best year yet!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)