The emotions of parenting

Yesterday was a day that tugged at my heart, and even brought a few tears to my eyes.  Next Friday, Catherine has senior night for swim.  She asked if anyone was going to come down for her day.  No one besides Andrew, Thomas, and myself were there for her band night, and she pointed out this one would be indoors!  With things happening with my grandmother though, I'm not sure my mom will feel like making the trip, or my sister.  Catherine said she understood that it is distance to travel.  We discussed how I wished more family had been able to be at things for them, but I also pointed out that because we live here and we are all on the same schedule, we get more family time as a whole, not to mention that these are great schools.  I know she understands and wasn't really upset about it, but I went into my bedroom and shed a few tears.  My kids are awesome, and I know my family knows that too.  I absolutely stand by my statement that this is the best place, on a day-in and day-out basis, for our family to be, but it has come at a cost.  We are far enough away that it's tougher for my family to get here, and we haven't developed the family friends that would've been there had we stayed in our former town.  It probably hurts me a little more than it does Catherine, because I grew up in town with my entire family within just a couple of miles, and someone was always there.

Catherine also swam the 500m freestyle at her meet Saturday.  Because it was 90 minutes away and we had other commitments, we didn't go.  I HATED not being there for that.  Nothing makes me more proud than watching seeing Catherine so determined.  She finished 6 seconds faster than last year.  She said that at one point she thought she was going to throw up, but she told herself to just keep going.  She said that her last lap she could hear everyone in the crowd cheering her on.  She also told me that she is totally okay with the fact that she isn't the best, but she wants to keep getting better.  I'm pretty sure I thought my heart would explode, and honestly, I got a little teary-eyed again.  She is just an amazing young lady, and I am so grateful to be her mother!