I'll be honest, my emotions are absolutely all over the place right now. I am grieving the death of my father's friend, who in many ways was like a second father to me...and of course I think of my own father and grieve with him, and know it won't be terribly long before our own family faces this struggle.
It is Sunday morning which of course is church morning. I have always preferred my conversations and relationship with God to be one of a personal nature...I prefer to be private in this regard. Therefore, the "community" of the church and worship is not comforting to me. It is a ritual that in some cases is so automatic to people that it holds no real meaning. I absolutely find my faith to be comforting in times of sadness. However, I do not find myself being surrounded by strangers to be of any comfort at all. This leads to a "gap" in my relationship with my husband, but I am grateful that he accepts that my beliefs are what they are.
I'm probably rambling. I truly feel my thoughts as well as my emotions are just like a ping-pong ball. I am grateful for the support of my family and good friends on days I feel like this!
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