In addition to all of the other emotions I've been feeling lately, I am struggling with forgiveness and I don't like how it's making me feel. I am truly struggling with my feelings about Andrew's friend, the baseball coach. Honestly, Andrew has pretty much put it out of his head and doesn't think about it...that's the kind of person he is. At the same time, I'm the one who personally encountered him at a scout function a few weeks ago, and I don't like awkward situations. There is also the fact that I talk to his wife about once a week and text with her several times a week, and each time I always feel like there is a giant elephant in the room that we never discuss. And of course there is the fact that we have the same group of friends. It's certainly not as though we've discussed this situation with those friends because we aren't going to sit around and "bad mouth", but that also means that everyone is assuming that we are all going to attend the same functions, and honestly that is a little uncomfortable.
I am tired of being "haunted" by this feeling, and I'm just not sure how to let go. I don't like anger building up. I truly want to forgive and move past it. Things will never be as they were, but I don't want to be angry every time I think about this situation. We have six years of good memories that I can't seem to enjoy right now because I'm so angry. I'm sure this guy isn't losing any sleep over the situation and probably doesn't even care about my forgiveness because he seems pretty convinced he didn't do anything that should offend us. I just don't like conflict in my life!
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