Little signs

Last spring just as school was ending, I learned my "dream job" was going to be available.  The church we attend was losing it's secretary of 8-1/2 years.  It was perfect in the sense that it was only 20 hours a week and right here in town.  I was certain with my background I would be a strong candidate, and I was very excited.  The best part was that it would start just as school was starting back up, so I would still have this past summer with my kids.  My only concern was that it was every day, and I didn't love that thought, but still thought it to be ideal.

Then Mom really started to feel lousy.  I had decided that it was best I not take an every day commitment.  But then Andrew was so disappointed and I reconsidered.  By the time I really got around to thinking about getting my resume together (I haven't needed one in over a decade!) they had already started interviewing and were about to make a decision.  I told Andrew that was just the way it was meant to be.

And after today I am even more convinced of that.  While Mom is getting better in the sense that she doesn't have daily treatments and her oncology appointments are monthly instead of weekly, it isn't over yet.  She had a swallowing evaluation performed two weeks ago and learned that her esophagus had shrunk to the size of a pencil (I've since seen the pictures and that is overstating the size).  Today we met with her GI doc, and he explained that while it can be stretched, it won't be as easy as originally hoped.  Because of the size it has to be stretched in phases, and because of the location, the first phase has to be performed in the hospital.  It will be outpatient, but in the hospital none-the-less.  He estimates it will take 4-6 stages in order to get it stretched so that she will be able to eat again, and then have to be monitored to see if it needs to be re-stretched.

We were both disappointed in this news, although still grateful that something can be done about it.  She had hoped to be eating again by the end of October, but now we are shooting more toward the holidays.  As we left and I thought about all of the appointments that are ahead due to this, I took it as a sign.  I made the right decision not pursuing the church job at this time.  My mom needs me, and I am so grateful that I can be there for her!