I have four more days of the this medication that I am on. I am hoping once it is finished, my emotions will even out again. One of the side effects is weepiness, and I feel like I have plenty of that in spades!
The moment that most sticks out in my mind was Friday evening. None of us had plans or anywhere to be, and although I ran some errands, I was home by 5:30. I was so pleased to spend the evening with my family! We all decided we wanted to watch a movie, and Andrew decided we should watch my favorite, Bull Durham. I was pretty sure the kids wouldn't like it, but it turned out they really did. There was one moment when we were all sitting their laughing, and I vividly remember the thought I had at that time. I was so incredibly grateful to be sharing that moment with my kids, and yet I was heartbroken that on a Friday evening, my kids had no plans with friends. It still makes me emotional to think about it.
I am frustrated that the Christmas tubs are still sitting in our sunroom. That's right, the second full weekend of March is upon us, and Christmas is still not completely put away. I also need to work on boxing up other things that belong to Robert, but it's really tough when Christmas takes up the entire space. I've been trying to hang things in our hallway for over a month. The problem is, I need Andrew's help, and he is ridiculously busy. I'm not angry, but it makes me feel like I can't accomplish things. Again, my emotions get the better of me.
We got the estimate on the permanent fix for our flooding crawl space. Unfortunately, (and we don't know why yet) the estimate came in triple what the original guess had been. That means in order to not have to think about this, it would cost us $3000. That is not happening right now! We have a fix that works just fine, it just means we have to make sure we are paying attention and take care of it ourselves. The bill for them coming out in the first place was also twice what we thought it would be. And now the dryer has issues.
Should I go out and get a full time job? Andrew and I both agree that isn't what would be best for our family. He even agreed there was no way I could've started subbing earlier than I did. We had to deal with Robert and his decisions, and unsupervised time because I was on a different schedule than him was not an option.
Overall, the weekend flew by entirely too fast. They all do though. Hopefully, the end of medication and the increased daylight will help to lift my mood. Sometimes I think I am being tested in this season of Lent. If that is the case, and these things are the biggest tests in my life, I think my life has been pretty good. And I am working very, very hard on having faith that everything will work out!
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