I was angry

Last evening, I'll be honest, I was angry with God.  I don't get that way very often.  In fact, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've felt that way.  But yesterday was one of them.  Ultimately though, it led to much, much prayer, and I think that is a good thing.

None of my kids are social butterflies.  None of them ever have been.  Catherine usually had a good friend along the way, but she has always been content to hang out at home and just be with us.  Robert was a social nightmare.  Thomas had a sweet group at our former school, and Andrew and I mistakenly assumed that he would replicate that here.  It has not only not been the case, but it has been the exact opposite.  Many of his social interactions remind us of days with Robert, and that brings much concern.

Thomas is working on the set construction for the high school musical.  The week before we had him pack a lunch because it is an all day thing.  He mentioned most students had gone out, but he stayed behind and ate his lunch.  Yesterday, he said he was packing some snacks, but was planning to join others to go out.  When he got home, it turned out he hadn't eaten lunch at all.  He said he had asked around, but the others said they didn't have room in their vehicles for him.  He stayed behind with two other young men, and since he hadn't packed his own lunch, he hadn't eaten any lunch.  My heart broke beyond words.  I know both of the other men, and I told Thomas we would've been happy to either bring a pizza in for them or to have taken them to grab something.  There is always a chance it could be financial for the other boys, but knowing them I suspect it was a social thing as well.  While outwardly Thomas didn't seem devastated, I also know teenagers don't always share their pain with their parents.

I needed to go take a shower, and I cried.  I was angry at God.  How could He let this happen?  As Andrew said yesterday, he is tired of this always happening to our kids.  I don't know what Andrew and I could've done differently over the years, but whatever it is I wish we'd done it.  My heart hurts more than I can put into words.

I prayed and prayed later last evening.  Not just for my kids to have friends, but for my kids to be content.  I prayed for God to use this as a lesson for us...for all of our family.  I pray for peace for all of us, and I pray for all those who are in situations like my kiddos.  Ironically, the prayer concern for today in our daily devotional book is for those who are lost and lonely.  A very, very timely prayer concern.