The "blizzard"

Let me assure you, the blizzard we experienced this week was not.  In fact, it was absolutely nothing more than a regular snowstorm.  HOWEVER, I do acknowledge I am speaking only for my little town.  Out in the country, and one county over, yes, they can claim the "Blizzard of '12".  We can not, although we did see lots of snow, and the kids were even able to play outside.  I was very grateful that the snowsuit I had purchased last year for Robert was finally able to be put to use.  We weren't able to go sledding because the sledding hill is out in the country, and we just weren't willing to risk the flat, open country roads.

We are now a week into our break, with a week to go.  Technically, there are nine days left, but next weekend most of the normal activities of life resume.  This break has been the exact opposite of last year.  This has been one of the most  relaxing breaks I can remember.  Part of that was due to the snow storm which just wiped out some plans.  Such is life.  We have all enjoyed our week of relative unstructured and unscheduled time, and of course the holiday spent with family.  Next week, we are traveling to visit Andrew's family and ring in the new year with them.  Hopefully the weather will cooperate and not cause any problems!

One of my favorites!

Merry Christmas...I love the fact that this is also post #800!  Today was by far, one of my most favorite Christmas days.  Thomas is still young enough that literally every gift was a delight to him.  Catherine received a new American Girl Doll and she couldn't be more thrilled.  I was concerned that Robert wouldn't be happy with his gifts, especially since he's a teenager who sometimes lives in a "funk".  However, everyone seemed very pleased with their gifts, and I still love watching the magic of Christmas through the eyes of my children.

Our big family meal was hosted by my sister this year.  I must say, it was a really, really nice afternoon.  It certainly made the day more relaxing for Andrew and me not to have to worry about preparing a big meal or cleaning the house in preparation for guests.  We really all got to sit around and just relax and enjoy the day.  My sister was a very gracious hostess and made a really delicious meal.  My parents, both of my grandmothers, and an aunt were there.  It was really just a very nice day.

And in other big news, we are under a blizzard warning.  Never in my life have I ever been in an actual blizzard.  Well, technically I was alive for the blizzards of '77/'78 but I was sick and can't even remember a thing about it (including exactly when it happened)!  So this event shall be interesting!

Merry Christmas everyone...I hope the day was as magical for you as it was for us!

Christmas Eve

Christmas got off to a fabulous beginning yesterday.  We went to my grandmother's and everyone, with the exception of a cousin who has been assigned working Sundays, was able to be there.  The great-grandkids range in age from 17 to my little one who is almost 9.  It's so neat to watch the "kids" all interact and hang out.  It just doesn't seem possible that they've all grown up so fast.  I especially loved watching Catherine and Thomas who still get so excited about every gift they open, and who just can't believe that even Great-Grandma knew exactly what they wanted.  Robert was equally pleased with his gift this year because Grandma added extra cash to his since he had fewer gifts...the teenagers are tough to buy for!  We then came home and watched movies that had been presents and hung out some more.  And of course, Thomas had to put together his new Lego set he had received.  Today will be a rather quiet day, although we'll meet up with some friends for church later on, and we'll hand out the kids' gift from out of towners this morning so they can enjoy them.  Christmas is just so magical!!!!

The beginning of break

I have so very much enjoyed the beginning of this break.  I think because mostly, it is a break.  I am so very grateful for two full weeks off as a family.  It's been three years since we've had this at Christmas.  The last three years we hosted Christmas at our house, but this year, we are going to my sister's house.  So, I'm actually enjoying life and feeling as relaxed as I ever allow myself to feel.

Last evening we traveled to see some Christmas lights in a park south of here, then we stopped at Taco Bell on the way home.  I totally understand how not exciting that sounds, but honestly, we had a tremendously fun evening.  Today we've really just hung out, and this afternoon/evening my husband has done some baking for tomorrow's first Christmas at my grandmother's.  I love all of the various conversations I've heard throughout the day (minus the squabbling of which I've heard plenty) and I just can't help but feel tremendously blessed right now!

An unplanned day at home

Catherine, Thomas, and I are having an unplanned day at home.  Snow day!!!!  I'll be honest, I was a little surprised.  After all, last year there had not been so much as a one hour delay for school (except for the very unfortunate norovirus that struck our district in April) and it just seemed as though that might be the way it was going to be from now on.  There was a winter "storm" headed our way though, and everyone was talking about it at school this week.  I kept pooh-poohing everyone.  C'mon folks!  An inch or two isn't going to do a thing.  Let's be serious!  I probably would've been correct, except for the fact that we have 40-50 mph winds along with the minimal amount of snow.  In flat, rural Ohio farmland, it doesn't take much snow to have winds at those speeds cause a great deal of drifting and difficulties on the roads.  The phone rang shortly after 5 with our two hour delay.  My husband sent me a text at 7:30 to let me know that he and Robert had made it to their schools safely, but he commented that he had passed a road that was closed and suspected our schools would do the same eventually.  Sure enough, about 8:30 it was official.  A day at home!  I feel a little badly for all of the kids though.  It's the last day before break, and it's always such a fun day at school!  Catherine was disappointed because her tone chime choir was supposed to perform at the school today along with the 6th grade choir and band.  Cinnamon rolls, playing in the snow (as much as one can play with very little snow and blustery winds) and some time on the wii has helped to soothe her, and make her forget about it though!

And now, two full weeks off for the holidays.  Life is absolutely wonderful!

Just my little guy and me

This afternoon it is just Thomas and I hanging out at home.  Catherine is with my sister for a girls' day, which I'm sure is going to be magical for her.  They are seeing a production of The Nutcracker then my sister is taking her out for a nice dinner.  Andrew and Robert are at baseball practice, and then are having dinner with the team.  Not overly thrilled that baseball has become almost a "year round" sport, but such is life.  Andrew and I were discussing this morning how we weren't really going to see each other much today, but both agreed we prefer this life to the alternative.  Only too soon it will be so very quiet around here again, and I'm just not ready for that yet.  Thomas has worked on cleaning his room (an on-going process with him) and has been creating various art "masterpieces" with the rest of his time.  It's still pretty quiet since it's just the two of us, but I still love hearing the occasional, "Mom, look at this!"  Makes my heart full!

Tragic

As with every family in America right now, our hearts, our thoughts and prayers, our tears, are with the families of the school shooting in Newtown, CT.  I just can't wrap my head around it, and for that, selfishly, I'm grateful.  But there are so many people who have no choice but to attempt to grasp it because it is their new reality.  I was subbing yesterday and the principal came in to tell me the news.  I was immediately very grateful that thanks to the location of the particular classroom I was in, both Catherine and Thomas were each less than 100 yards away.  But of course Andrew and Robert were at their respective schools, and still a 45 minute drive away.  We were supposed to attend a birthday gathering for an acquaintance last evening, but decided that we wanted to be home and share some fun family time together.  Pizza and wings were ordered, and we watched The Cosby Show.  Before bed we hugged them each again, a little tighter.  Watching and listening to them last night was the greatest gift I've ever received.

Very proud of my sister

Last night I had the honor of being present at a ceremony where my sister was named "Young Professional of the Year."  I was so excited, and so very proud of her.  We were able to take the kids along, and both of my parents and my grandmothers were there as well.  I was also very proud of my self for not shedding any tears, but it wasn't easy.  One of my grandmothers mentioned to my sister how proud she was of her, and that she knew the Grandpas were proud of her also.  Loved ones no longer with us are very much missed especially at times like these.  I watched my sister embrace my father, and I was so very, very grateful that he was able to be there to see it.  I know he wouldn't have missed it for anything, but I also know that he'll need to rest quite a bit today.  The way the ceremony is presented, they sneak the family in the back just as the award presentations are being made.  That way, the recipient is not "tipped off", but the family is able to see the actual presentation.  We then retreated as a family to the lobby, so as not to disrupt the other presentations, and also so my father could make a quick escape before throngs of people wanted to greet him...he just doesn't have that in him.  The kids were so very excited for their aunt and I was just grateful for the it all!

A much needed quiet morning

This morning is a very much needed quiet morning.   Andrew has taken the children to church, and I am enjoying the peace and quiet of the morning.  It's a very ugly morning weather wise, with some pretty hard rain coming down, but I'm nice and dry inside the house.  I've turned off most of the lights except right here at my computer, and I also have the Christmas lights turned on as well.  It's just such a lovely morning in my little corner of the world right now, and I'm cherishing it!

Why I haven't written

I'll be honest, I haven't really wanted to write lately.  It isn't that there hasn't been anything going on...quite the contrary.  Rather, it's the fact that life has just been rough right now, and I'm not entirely sure I want to really remember the last few weeks.  I want this blog to be uplifting, and lately life just hasn't felt that way.

Monday evening we attended the funeral visitation for Grace.  Honestly, it was one of the worst things I have ever experienced.  I was such a blubbering idiot through the line.  Strangely enough, Catherine never cried...not one tear.  However, she was an absolutely awful person to be around.  I think her emotions came out through anger, not through tears.  I on the other hand, have shed plenty of tears.

We are also finding that parenting a teenager is tough.  I mean, REALLY tough.  There seems to be nothing I can say or do to make him respond with anything other than a grunt...although I do suppose I get the occasional whine out of him.  I've tried talking to him, I've tried hugging him, I just don't know what to do anymore.  I suppose on the upside that at least things seem to be going okay between Robert and my husband, so he hasn't completely cut off the lines of communication.

I just can't believe that December is upon us already, but I'm looking forward to hopefully sharing some lovely days together as a family!  I think we need it right about now.

Coping

Catherine took the news about Grace surprisingly well, and in fact is dealing with it better than I am.  Thomas was very upset when we told him, and both have told us that they want to go to the funeral visitation Monday evening.  This is all uncharted territory for me, and Andrew and I agreed that we would follow the kids' leads on how they want to handle their grief and mourning.

I, on the other hand, was an absolute mess last evening.  I was holding up until I read her obituary.  I am NOT supposed to be reading an obituary for a little ten-year-old whom I've known for so many years.  I had just seen her last week, and so many times over the last year I'd had to opportunity to sub as her teacher and work with her.  I just couldn't make the tears stop last night.  Before I went to bed (and it wasn't late because I was absolutely drained) I stood over Catherine's bed and watched her sleep.  I kept kissing her and my tears were falling on her...she was so peaceful.  I know that in addition to all of the other reasons that I'm having trouble dealing with Grace's death, the fact that she is the same age as my precious daughter is making it so much harder...it's so close to home.

We are all coping better today, and I know that life goes on.  I also have the privilege of knowing that Grace would want exactly that.  She would not want us all to be sad and make a big deal...although it's impossible not to do those things.  But today thinking about her smile no longer makes me sob like it did yesterday.  Today it makes me smile, and I know that although it's a little darker in our world, her smile is lighting up Heaven and shining over all of us.

So sad

I've just learned that a class mate of my daughter passed away last evening.  This girl has an absolutely horrible degenerative disease, and while we all knew this day would eventually arrive, it doesn't make it any easier right now.  Grace was such a sweet little girl and always had a smile on her face.  She knew exactly what she wanted and wouldn't settle for less.  As an adult who knew her, my heart is breaking for the loss of her, and of course I can't even fathom what her family is feeling right now.  And to lose her on Thanksgiving of all days...there just aren't words.

I have no idea how I'm going to tell Catherine this news.  She is out with the rest of our family right now running some errands.  I have to find a way to stop my tears before I can share this information with her.  Catherine and Grace were not close, but they had known each other since preschool.  Please say some prayers for Grace's family.

Anticipation

I slept somewhat fitfully last night, although that can somewhat be used to describe my sleep for the last 30 years.  I'm not sure if it was anticipation of the upcoming holidays, or anxiety due to the fact that so many things need to be done!

We are hosting Thanksgiving this year.  My in-laws are arriving tomorrow and we'll have the traditional feast on Thursday.  As much work as it is to host, I'm still very grateful that we aren't going away this year.  So VERY grateful to my in-laws who are willing to drive here.  On Friday my parents, grandmother and sister will also come down and we'll have a second, less traditional feast.  My parents are spending Thanksgiving day at my other grandmother's and I'll take the kids up to see her earlier that day.  I've spent the day doing some fall housecleaning that should've been done months ago, but later is better than never.  I'm SO looking forward to the fact that other than these two big meals, our holiday weekend is fairly unscheduled and we could all use that...some time to reconnect as a family.  At the same time, I absolutely CAN NOT believe how quickly we got here once school started, and it makes me just a little sad.  My kids are growing up so fast, and I'm just not ready for it!

Five years ago...

Five years ago today our house was all kinds of a mess.  Thomas had been sick the previous week with a low grade fever, and over the weekend had broken out in a rash.  Robert had also developed a slight fever, and I had a cold/sinus infection that was so miserable the "gunk" was literally coming out of my eyes.  I remember driving to pick up my husband from an event, and because my eyes were so bad and it was after dark everything was blurry and I could barely see.  Why do I remember this exact date.  Well, first of all I just seem to have a "knack" for that, but secondly it was when we were in the middle of trying to sell our house and we were having an open house that very Sunday...five years ago yesterday.  Anyway, since Thomas had developed the rash on top of his low grade fever I had Andrew take him to the doctor.  We were all a little astounded when it was revealed that he had chicken pox!  After all, he'd been vaccinated properly.  I immediately had Robert pull up his shirt and sure enough, the same "rash" was on him as well.  We quarantined ourselves for Thanksgiving because our plans had been to be with my dad (and his suppressed immune system) and my cousins, all of whom had young children.  Not to mention, I felt pretty lousy myself.  My in-laws went ahead and came to our house as they had been planning to do, and we had a very quiet Thanksgiving meal here.  Since it was such short notice on us, we decided to do a ham for the meal instead of turkey.  In retrospect, it was one of the most pleasant Thanksgivings.  I love being able to see so much family, but at the same time it was also very nice NOT to have to run around from house to house to see everyone.  Definitely a very memorable time in our lives.  As I pointed out to the kids at dinner this evening...based on the statistics in our house the vaccine is only 33% effective!

What it was like

I'm not going to lie to you, the last eight weeks were tough.  I feel badly even saying that, because I know that there are so many families that have both parents working every day all day and they manage to get through.  I've learned that it's all about choices, and I honestly learned so much about myself.

Our house pretty much was a pig sty for the last eight weeks, and I felt so much guilt through it all.  I felt guilty that for 40 consecutive school days, my children had to get up earlier than normal and couldn't eat breakfast at home.  For 40 consecutive school days they couldn't walk home after school and enjoy a snack.  The hardest part of this particular assignment was the fact that this teacher had not taught first grade last year, so her own resources were limited.  I had to rely mostly on the kindness of the other first grade teachers.  Don't get me wrong, they were all VERY kind, but it meant I had to use their resources at the building.  I couldn't bring it home and wait until the kids were in bed.  And it meant they had to wait it out at school with me.  And of course there were weekends and evenings where I had to tell them, "No, I can't do that with you right now."  Sometimes there simply didn't seem to be any available resources for what I was teaching and it meant hours on the computer designing one or scouring the internet.  And the most frustrating part for me was the pay.  It's absolutely perfect pay for a day of subbing, but when the hours of planning and grading are factored in, it pretty much stinks.  My husband and I both agreed that there is not another long term assignment in our future.  For us as a family, it just doesn't make sense.

Which brings us to choices...I have announced that I have the rest of my life to work.  Being a mom though?  Well, while I do have that for the rest of my life as well, I only have the next several years to "mother" my kids while they are young.  Thomas is turning NINE before too long and Robert is already a teenager.  These days are going by way, way, way TOO FAST, and I don't want to miss them because I'm sitting at a desk or a computer or any other job.  I just want to be "mom".  So I'll continue to take daily sub jobs as offered, and we'll continue to make sometimes tough budgetary decisions...and in the long run, I know I'll be much happier, and so will the entire family!

It's over

Today is the end of my eight week long term sub assignment.  In some ways, it's such a lesson in how quickly time passes.  In others it's a lesson in the fact that time does pass even when it feels like it isn't.  Ultimately though, I'm very grateful to be finished...almost more than I thought I would be.  I'm hoping at some point to write a post that attempts to recreate our lives with two full time incomes (although I should note that as a long term sub the workload is definitely full time, but the pay doesn't even come close).  I'm so very much going to miss the kids, and I knew that would be the case.  I really wasn't too emotional today until there were some hugs at the end of the day.  I was just doing high fives as a way to say good bye, but then a little girl Eva insisted on a hug.  She is the daughter of a friend so that didn't really hit me, but when the boys started hugging me that about did me in.

The other thing that is over...the ugly campaign ads.  I don't care who you might be voting for or what your preferences might be in anything...these ads have been absolutely awful.  Now some of you in some "not so pivotal" states might be wondering what the heck I'm talking about, but HELLO!  I live in OHIO!  I'll be honest, I like living in an important state in terms of many things, but national elections is not one of them.  I detest politics in just about every way possible.  I'm so glad I can now turn on my tv and radio and not feel irritation at both sides!

Looking forward to having more blog time now!

Reading together

One of my most favorite things I did with my kids when they were younger was reading to them.  I absolutely loved some of the children's stories and I loved the way they often snuggled with me when reading...even all three of them.  For the last several years we've been reading the Little House on the Prairie series and I've enjoyed that as well.  But to be honest, we've totally slacked off for the last six months and pretty much hadn't done anything in that regard.

Some of my favorite children's books are a few that were given to us about six years ago by a very dear friend.  Because of the time of year, many of the books were Halloween books.  Even though I can't stand the holiday itself, these books have such great memories for me.  I was feeling a little sad that not once had we been able to read these books this year.  I decided though, that four days too late was better than not at all.  We all sat huddled together in the living room, and even better than me reading to them was everyone taking a turn.  Even my husband joined in!  I sat there and cherished the moment, and knew that it was a memory I'll always have with me!

Almost back to normal

There are only two days left in my long term assignment.  I am going to miss the little first graders so much that I could almost cry about it.  But at the same time, I am well aware of the fact that my three favorite "little" people in the world are right here at home with me, and I'm (hopefully) going to get to be a better mother now that I'm not working full time.  Understand, I know that MOST families deal with two full time parents every day.  But I've also known that I'm not one of them who would handle that well.  And it isn't just the guilt.  Being a teacher is NEVER (in spite of how most people feel) an eight hour job.  The eight hours I could deal with...it was the part where I STILL had to bring things home.  And I've also known that I'm a person that, if I'm going to do a job, I'm going to completely devote myself and do the best job I can, which is why I feel as though I've missed the last eight weeks of my children's lives.  The money has been very nice and will be handy at Christmas, but I'm so looking forward to pleasant and relaxing evenings again!

At the same time, fall baseball has also come to an end.  Robert was really starting to hit the ball well and I'm pretty sure that he is disappointed that the season has ended.  He'll most likely be going back to karate next week, as will the other two.  Thomas has been taking an after school enrichment program patterned after the Magic Tree House books and he's loved that.  Catherine has joined the tone chime choir at school and practices after school once a week for that.  And of course everyone still has scouts and Andrew is taking one of his final classes for his principal's license.  But I am so very grateful that as we head into the holidays, our lives are almost back to normal...whatever that is with three growing children!

Yesterday

Yesterday was about as close to perfect as we are going to get in this house these days.  Robert had a scout meeting first thing in the morning.  Andrew dropped him off then headed off to help some friends move.  I picked Robert up, and shortly afterwards began my massive errand running for the day.  I dread running errands, and since I now have to run them on the weekends with the rest of the working folks, I dread it even more!  I did score big at Kohl's though.  I needed a new handbag, and between the sales, my Kohl's cash redemption, and my credit card discount I paid $4.81 for what had originally been a $49 handbag.  Now, you can say that no one at Kohl's ever pays full price for anything and that is probably true, but no one can deny that less than $5 for a new purse is a bargain!  Anyway, yesterday also happened to be my birthday, so Andrew made sure not to be gone all day, and I got home mid-afternoon from my errand running.  And my dream day came true!  No cooking, cleaning, or going anywhere, a glass of wine (or two) and victories by both Ohio State and Notre Dame in college football.  We also sat and played a couple hands of dominoes (our new favorite family game) and I can't remember a birthday I've enjoyed as much as this one!

Grandmothers

This post will give a glimpse into why I haven't had a chance to write much, although I'll post more about that another time as well!

A week ago yesterday was third grade grandparents day at Thomas's school.  My mother was bringing down both of my grandmothers, and because of my mother's lack of mobility and my grandmother's health issues, I made sure they arrived plenty early because parking was a HUGE issue earlier in the week with other grades.  The school secretary made the comment about what a blessing it was that I still had both of my grandmothers at my age.  I completely agree!  I was in Thomas's room visiting a bit, and it was VERY crowded.  I gave my maternal grandmother a chair, and another parent gave a chair to my mother.  My paternal grandmother insisted that she was fine to stand, and I whispered to her, "You are the able bodied one.  I'm counting on you," and we both laughed about that.  Honestly though, she is absolutely amazing.  She is 81 years old and is literally one of the healthiest people I know.

The next morning I was heading to the grocery.  I had just headed out of town when my mother called to tell me that my grandmother was being taken to the e/r in an ambulance.  She said they would call when they knew more.  I called my husband and let him know that instead of the grocery, I was going to be making a turn onto the interstate and heading north.  I pretty much cried the entire way to the hospital.  While I have some serious issues about the behavior of my maternal grandmother, I absolutely adore my paternal grandmother.  I kept thinking that if something happened to her, the world just wasn't going to be as bright.  I arrived at the hospital at the same time as my sister and my mother.  Mom had talked Dad into staying home until we had a better idea what was happening, and that way he could conserve his strength until it was really necessary.  My grandmother NEVER complains, and even on that day she was pleasant and chipper, in spite of her severe pain.  They ran a very complete battery of tests, and decided that at worst it might be the beginning of shingles, but appeared to be nothing more than a virus.  She was sent home with pain meds and anti-nausea meds, and I was astonished to learn that at 81 she takes no other prescriptions!  In spite of her protests, I decided that I would stay with her over night.  I just felt that it was important that someone be with her, especially since she's had some strange reactions to pain meds before.  While she kept saying it wasn't necessary, I think she was also relieved to know that if she did awake during the night or the next morning with similar symptoms that she wouldn't be alone.

Fortunately, it seems as though it was just a virus.  Of course there were about 1001 things I needed/wanted to be getting done at home, but as I went to sleep in her spare bedroom that evening, I kept telling myself that I was very grateful to be spending the night at her house keeping an eye on h er, rather than spending the night at home and planning her funeral.  I also have to admit, getting to spend several uninterrupted hours with her was a very rare treat. I used to spend the night with her and Grandpa almost monthly as a child, and it was so nice to be able to spend a few hours visiting with her before I left for home.  So while it messed up lots of plans for the weekend and I didn't get nearly as much done as I wanted, it was truly a blessing!

My favorite job

I truly wish that I could get on here and post more than once a week.  Reality is what it is though, and frankly there just aren't enough hours in the week right now.

I've got twelve more school days of my long term sub job.  I am going to miss the kids TERRIBLY when my time is done, but it will be time.  First grade is a little rough this time of year, although I've so enjoyed seeing the progress these kids have made in just a short period of time.  The part of the job I'm NOT going to miss is the fact that even after being at school from 8 until 5, I still have work to do when I get home.  Not my things at home of course, but more school work (if I'd had less sleep I'd take this opportunity to do a rant on how lots of people like to complain teachers are overpaid because they don't "work" as much as everyone else since they have summer and holiday breaks).  Because I know that I must stay up on sleep in order to not get sick OR become a raving lunatic to my family, I feel like I'm missing out on my children's lives.  Some might feel I'm over reacting, but that is my favorite job in the world, and I don't want to miss out on that.  So while I know that I'll still be very busy with "regular" subbing, I'm looking forward to getting to be just "mom" again in the evenings!

Trying to catch up

Another weekend has arrived in our house, and I'm so very grateful.  October is proving to be just as crazy as September, but then the holidays are right around the corner...sounds like a dream!

It's definitely become fall here.  The leaves aren't quite as colorful as years past because of our drought, but it's still rather pretty.  The temps have also dropped quite a bit, although a slight rebound is predicted for our weekend.  Everyone is still trudging through school, and I have 3-1/2 weeks left in my long term sub job.  I love the kids in the classroom, but I don't love the fact that I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of being "mom" at home.  We are all working on adjusting, and I'm hoping that we can take the kids and do something fun for a little treat after this is over.  They've been Catherine and Thomas have been a tremendous help at school when I needs packets put together for my classroom, but to be honest, their assistance at home as been less enthusiastic.  They've both been enjoying scouts, but we've kind of taken a slight break from karate.  It seems as though Robert has joined every club that he can at the middle school, and we love watching him be so happy at school.  Last weekend he attended a birthday party of a friend from his baseball team and ended up spending the night.  I'm grateful that his confidence he's found at his new school is able to carry over to other aspects of his life.  He's still doing youth group and there are at least two more fall baseball games scheduled, but he's taken a break from early Saturday morning scout meetings while football season is happening.  My in-laws arrive later today and we haven't seen them in over two months.  My father-in-law no longer wants to make the drive here, and at 77, I do understand that it's out of his comfort zone.  Of course, he has no problem getting on a plane flying to Vegas or the ocean a couple of times a year.  I know it's the driving, but honestly they could occasionally fly if they wanted to do so...or even take a bus.  They are willing to take a bus the same distance to visit D.C., but somehow it's not the same to come visit us.  The issue is that as the kids get older, it becomes increasingly more difficult to visit them...right now we are barely able to find time together with the five of us!

Sorry if this seems a little rambling and disjointed.  I was up at 2:30 this morning and couldn't sleep, so I got up and cleaned before going back to bed at 6:30.  I was able to get another two hours of sleep, but I can tell I'm just not totally with it today!

It's not just me

From the other blogs that I follow, I am apparently not the only one lacking time to blog.  In fact, even before this my blog was more updated than some others.  Alas, this is not a long post, just a quick one and really nothing of substance.  The in laws are arriving in about 43 hours (give or take an hour) and I've got way too much to get finished between now and then!  Hope all is well!

Changing it up

I've decided to go with new names for all of us because I'm tired of initials and "wonderful husband".  So from here on out, JR is Robert, JC is Catherine, and HT is Thomas.  My husband is Andrew, and if any of you know us well you will realize I was not the least bit creative here.  I mean after all, I had to be able to keep track of us as well!  But under no circumstances will I jeopardize the safety and put real names on here...so this is what it is!

What I've learned

I've learned a lot about a lot of things the last 2-1/2 weeks that I've been teaching first grade.  I've learned that no many how many times I give directions, someone isn't going to follow them.  I've learned that regardless of how many visuals I've given, someone will still be on the wrong page.  I've learned that giving the rules one day does not seem to mean they are still in effect the next day and must therefore be repeated.  And I've learned that no matter how recently you just used the restroom as a class, someone will desperately need to go as soon as you get out onto the playground.

But most of the things that I've learned are about myself.  I've learned that I don't love first grade.  The kids are very cute and I'm enjoying my days in their classroom, but I've learned that I prefer "meatier" content.  I know that there is nothing more important than teaching kids to read and do basic math , and I'm the one that is setting this foundation for them right now.  But I've found that I much, much prefer to teach something where the kids and I can get into a good solid discussion about the topic.  Short a and short i sounds, along with "What shape is this?" just isn't cutting it for me in that department.

I've also learned that I love being a mother to my three beautiful children more than absolutely anything else in the world.  I'm missing JR terribly with him being gone so much with my husband at his new school, and I'm missing getting to see JC at school since I'm pretty much stuck in the Primary building.  I don't like the fact that by the time we get home every afternoon at nearly 4:30, it's time to throw dinner on the table before our evening activities, and I don't love the fact that between their activities and my work that has to be done at home in the evening there are times I don't even check their backpacks for things I might need to know.  I don't love the fact that sometimes I'm just too tired to pack their lunches, and I tell them to just buy something in the school lunch line.  I don't like that when JR asked me to play a wii bowling tournament with him today I couldn't help but think of the hours of planning and coordinating I needed to do today for the upcoming week in the classroom (although we did play one game), and I especially don't like the fact that in order to go to the grocery this week I'll have to miss either dinner or bedtime tomorrow evening.  This long term sub job has made me realize that while I need to work at least part time, I certainly don't want to work full time.  I'll have the rest of my life to work and save up money, but I only get to look after these amazing children for a few short years, and those years are just flying by.

Fall ball

Today, JR will have his 5th game of the fall ball season.  They are currently 2-2, but the two teams to which they've lost are select teams that have been together for quite a while.  It seems as though JR's team is the strongest of the "new" teams that have joined the fall league this year.  I'm sure that is due to the coaching as much as the talent.  My wonderful husband and our good friend Bob are very good coaches and really enjoy working with the boys.

JR's season has not been as successful as the rest of the team.  For one thing, he just isn't really into practicing.  Of course he goes to the weekly practice, but he isn't really into getting out in the yard and practicing catching.  Hitting is more challenging because it would require driving to the park, but none the less he isn't even asking to do that either.  And without practice, his success as a hitter has been limited and he's starting to feel very discouraged.  The boys are going to play together as a select team this year, and I think it's going to be very interesting to see how long JR continues to want to play baseball.  In the meantime, he's been asking what Olympic sport he can play because that's his new plan for when he grows up!

A great day in sports

Yesterday was an absolutely great day in the sports world, at least in our household!  FINALLY have the last few years have brought last second heartache, Notre Dame defeated Michigan.  GO IRISH!!!  I still have some concerns about the success of the rest of the season as I've not been totally confident in their play yet, but at this point it doesn't matter.  WE BEAT MICHIGAN!!!!

Also, and really, more importantly, the REDS CLINCHED THE CENTRAL DIVISION!!!  We were all trying to get things done yesterday while the game was on, and as JC pointed out, every TV in the house was tuned in to the game.  When the top of the ninth arrived and the Reds were up 6-0, I called everyone to the living room so we could watch it together.  When they clinched two years ago I was the only one still awake, and I wanted to make sure the kids didn't miss it this time.  As I watched the Reds turn the game ending, division clinching double play, I honestly had tears in my eyes.  There were two reasons for this...1) we really have a shot at something big in the postseason this year and 2) my entire family was sitting together when it happened.  These days, that is such a rarity.

Haven't gone anywhere

I can't tell you how many times I wanted to get on and write about our life, but there just hasn't been time.  I apologize if this is a long post, but I want to catch up!

I'm really enjoying teaching first grade, but it's absolutely exhausting.  Friday, I'm not sure if it was a bug or just total exhaustion, but I felt lousy and went to bed before 9:00 last night.  We had plans to participate in a walk Saturday morning with "Uncle Nick" for the Alzheimers Assn.  It was an absolutely gorgeous morning, and I was really looking forward to sharing such an experience with my family.  We decided though, that although I'm felt better, it would be best if I stayed home.  It gave me an opportunity to get some things picked up around the house that I hadn't managed to accomplish before, but I could only do a little before it was time to sit down again.  Good news is that I feel much better this morning.

I'm happy to report that the project I was working on for Dad's office is finally finished.  It's a good thing, because this week I'm going to have to start doing the planning for school all on my own.  It's a little bit of an overwhelming feeling and I don't even know where to start.  That doesn't really matter though, because I haven't even come close to having a chance to start!

Activities are back in full swing for the kids.  HT and JC are back into their bi-monthly scout meetings.  When they aren't there they are usually able to attend their karate class.  JR and my wonderful husband have fall baseball (I'll write a post on that another time) and of course Sunday School is going on each week again.  My husband is taking a class again this semester, and JR has joined a few clubs after school.  JC has decided to participate in the tone chime choir that practices once a week after school, and as a gift to HT from some friends, he'll be participating in an after school enrichment activity.  All in all, everyone has plenty to do and seems to be enjoying themselves!

Back at it

Sure enough, Mrs. D had her baby Wednesday morning and I've been teaching first grade ever since!  It was pretty crazy the first day because it was our school district's first "early release" for teacher inservice that they are doing this year.  It's getting better each day though, and I'm starting to feel like I'm really getting the hang of it.

At the same time, life has been incredibly overwhelming.  Because I'm long term, I've been bringing home papers to grade, and there is prep work that has to be done at home.  On top of it, I'd been working on a project for Dad's office and it's not done yet, so technically I have two jobs right now.  I'm exhausted, but so far all of the necessities in life are getting accomplished, although perhaps not much beyond that at this point.

I'll be back with more stories and updates eventually...just wanted to take a quick break to keep updated!

Back to work tomorrow

Tomorrow is my first day of subbing this year.  The teacher still hasn't had her baby, but I'm scheduled tomorrow and Thursday in different classrooms.  I'm excited to be back at it and I'm looking forward to seeing all of those eager little faces, but just thinking about it makes me tired.  I want so much to have patience at home...home is where my heart is!

An added element of concern is the fact that I seem to have seriously injured my ankle.  The scary thing is that I have absolutely no idea what I've done.  Once I walk on it a while, it tends to feel better, but the first few initial steps are painful.  Even sitting can be painful, so I really don't know what's going on.  Praying that the pain just goes away as mysteriously as it arrived!

He's done

Yesterday was the first day that JC and HT had any real homework.  I have yet to see JR do any homework, but I'm being assured that is because he's getting it done after school while waiting for my husband to bring him home.  That must be true, because nothing is missing in the grade book.

Anyway, before my husband had gone back to work we had purchased some new furniture.  It was a new side table for our love seat, and a new desk and stool to go in our living room.  We bought them at the unfinished furniture store, and that was largely how they remained....unfinished.  It was the next day that my dad went into the hospital and the day after that my husband started back to work and well, life just happened.  He worked almost all of Saturday though, and was able to get them done.  Sunday afternoon JC had insisted that the desk be brought up and put in its new place.  She knew yesterday would be her first day of homework and she wanted a place to work.  Previously they had worked at the dining room table, but this desk is all their own, and it will have a laptop which they are allowed to use after we figure out how to block pretty much everything. :)  Anyway, JC walked in yesterday and sat right down.  She was so pleased to be working on her homework.  She didn't even have a snack.  She just wanted to work.

And HT?  He definitely needed a snack first.  Afterward, I reminded him he had homework and he explained that Sissy was using the desk so he would have to wait.  I initially thought that he was just excited to use the desk and didn't want to deprive him, so I didn't push it.  However, when JC was finished and I told HT it was time to get started, he announced, "I can't wait for homework to be over for the year."  Oh boy, I think we are in for a long year!

JC's new scouting opportunity

We are starting JC's third year in scouts.  I've been less than enamored with her scouting experience.  They've pretty much done nothing but a few crafts, and on the very rare occasion that they actually went somewhere and did something because we were given such short notice she usually wasn't able to go.  I was also particularly displeased with some of the girls in her troop.  The girls that the teachers dread having in class?  Yep, in her troop.  Some of them were downright mean and two of them had even bullied JC two years ago in school.  But, she enjoyed being a part of something, and I hated for her to give it up, especially since she's pretty much done with sports, and at her age there just doesn't seem to be much else offered.

Which brings us to last Friday.  I was helping out some acquaintances who are in charge of our school's levy campaign.  I was mentioning to one that JC doesn't have a lot of friends, but her best friend is Belle and they are absolutely angelic together.  Belle happens to be in this woman's girl scout troop, and she asked if JC would like to join them.  I was ecstatic!  Belle is a year younger so we wanted to make sure that JC was okay being with girls that are all fourth graders.  Without hesitation JC said "YES!"  Last night was the first meeting.  They are planning badges and activities and outings...oh my!  JC was so excited when she got home last evening and can't wait to go again in two weeks.  I'm so happy for her!!!!

Fall has arrived

It's really beautiful here.  Absolutely gorgeous.  Last week was a miserable start to the school year in terms of the weather.  Tuesday in particular was rather rainy (HT pointed out he'd had two recesses, one outside and one inside) and the humidity was astronomical.  If we dared to turn off the a/c for any period of time, things literally became sticky to touch.  A major front came through Friday evening that played havoc with the Friday night football schedule for just about everyone.  Once the humidity dropped Saturday morning, it's been wonderful!  We've got daytime temps in the low 70's, and nighttime lows in the upper 40's.  It's my definition of absolutely perfect weather!

Remember I mentioned a flat tire?

You might remember in my post from yesterday I mentioned I'd had a flat tire Tuesday.  I must say, that was inaccurate.  I had a LOW tire on Tuesday which I was able to pump back up and head out on my merry way.  Yesterday I had a VERY FLAT tire.  There was no way to successfully pump that sucker back up.  I discovered it as I was pulling out of the drive way to attend a meeting at the local board of education.  I've become involved in a finance committee of sorts and yesterday was another meeting regarding that.  Anyway, while it was going to mean booking it, I live plenty close enough to walk, and another committee member was kind enough to see me walking and stopped to pick me up.  My husband worked late again yesterday (that would involve my recent post about his contract) and by the time we got home we pretty much had time for dinner and then it was bedtime routine.  It was almost dark by the time he and JR went out to work on the tire.  Don't we have AAA you ask?  Why yes we do!  But my husband assured me changing a tire was a piece of cake and there was no need to call an expert.

I got the younger two ready for bed and time kept crawling later.  Finally I took the younger two upstairs to say prayers and tuck them in.  My husband came in with his all sweaty self and kissed the younger two goodnight.  He mentioned it was a much more difficult job than he'd originally thought.  I suggested we just leave the flat tire on and inflate it enough to drive the four blocks to our mechanic.  Nonsense he insisted!  He's already started (yeah, like an hour ago!) and he was going to finish!  About 45 minutes later, it's 9:00.  He comes in and announces that the jack has broken, but the tire is half on, half off, so we are going to have to call AAA.  IRONIC!!  Finally, at about 9:30 the expert arrived and not only got the old tire off, but had the spare put on in less than 5 minutes total.

I mentioned to my husband at some point last night that I wasn't optimistic that they were going to be able to get me in for new tires anytime soon.  He pointed out our mechanic is AWESOME and we never have a problem.  Sure enough, it will be Monday before we can have new tires put on the van.  I expected nothing less.

Careful what is wished for

I've had quite a lesson regarding being careful what you wish for.  For the last week I've been lamenting the end of our summer, and it does make me sad that our carefree days are over.  However, it means that my husband (and soon myself) are going back to work.  These last couple of days have reminded me that we should be grateful for work and our jobs.

Last evening was a contract vote at my husband's school.  There was the very real possibility the vote was going to reject the contract, and strike talk was beginning.  My husband has never wanted to strike and certainly didn't want to now, but the contract is pretty abysmal.  It still doesn't completely allay our concerns about his job, but right now I know that we'll get through this year.  One of the main reasons my husband didn't want to strike was the fact that he was concerned the school would be able to replace the staff and they would all lose their jobs.  Right now there are so many unemployed teachers that it was not beyond the realm of possibility.  I suddenly felt like our entire future was up for grabs, and it was scary.  Suddenly, the prospect of having him home was terrifying, and it reminded me to be grateful for his job...very, very grateful.

It stunk

I've got to be honest folks, yesterday pretty much stunk.  It's not a day I'll look back on and wish to repeat.  After fighting tears as I walked the kids to school, I got home so I could drive to my dad's office and fight those emotions.  Before I could leave though, I discovered I had a flat tire.  I was able to locate our air compressor and pump it back up, but it was not what I was in the mood to deal with first thing in the morning.

The kids really enjoyed their days and I was so glad for that.  About 4:30 yesterday our good friend Bob called with the crappy news that JR's first fall baseball game this weekend is Sunday (which we knew) at 11:00...total shock since we'd been told to expect 2:00!!!!  This really throws our plans for Sunday into a bit of a tailspin as it is also the first Sunday for religious ed classes at church and not only is JR expected to be there my wonderful husband/assistant fall baseball coach is expected to be there.  I realize that we can make this work but it will require some "tweaking" of things at church.  I attempt to call my husband and some strange woman answers the phone.  Bob had mentioned that it seemed as though there was a problem with my husband's phone.  I tried both from my landline and from my cell, and every time I called I kept getting someone else.  I tried calling the work number, and of course it rang to someone else's classroom.  The school office was already closed so I was getting worked up that there was no way to reach my husband.  Than I remembered that JR was with him so I called him.  He reminded me about my husband's meeting after school so I explained to have him call me the minute he saw him.  A little while later I decided to get on a check JR's grades since they have now been in school for two full weeks.  The school seems to have lost it's link to progress book, so I had to dig out the paperwork for how to do it.  I finally got on and realized that JR has an F and a C-. UGH!!!!!  I called JR again and he didn't seem to understand how that could've happened.  It turns out that he hasn't been completely classroom work on time and didn't seem to understand that the teacher expected him to finish it on his own time.  C'mon son...use that brain between your ears!

We had planned a fun McDonald's dinner with the kids to celebrate their first day yesterday, but by 6:00 I still hadn't heard from hubby.  I loaded the kids up and and off we went to the McDonald's drive thru ourselves.  I've paid and pulled to the second window when they inform me that there are no chicken nuggets and will I please pull over.  No, in fact, I will NOT pull over.  It is 6:00...clearly dinner time, and you can't have the foresight to have chicken nuggets ready.  NOT MY PROBLEM!  I always explain to the people that had they informed me when I paid, I'd have had the choice at that point to either pull over, or to change my order.  However, when they do not give my choice, I will not pull over.  It took FOREVER to get the nuggets and pretty much added to my already high level of irritation with life at that point.  By this time it is now 6:20 and I call JR again...isn't Dad out of the meeting yet?  They are in the car, so Dad gets on the phone.  I just start crying.  Of course my husband thinks I'm overreacting to everything, and it just goes downhill from there.

I tried to sit with my kids and put on a cheerful face at dinner.  I had so been dreading the first day of school, but I didn't want it to carry over to them...I wanted them to be excited and happy and look forward to everything about school.  And that was why having a fun dinner together as a family was so important to me.  My husband didn't seem to understand why that couldn't happen at 7:00.  Hello....remember, they've gone back to school!  Bed time is at 8:15 right now and it's hot and they are going to need baths.  I told him that we had talked about how he was planning to be home by 6.  When it became evident that wasn't going to happen (and wasn't even going to be close), he should have excused himself for a minute and made an effort to communicate with me.  We went back and forth for an hour once he got home about how I felt and what he thought I should feel, and maybe we got somewhere, maybe we didn't.  I love him beyond words, and his lack of communication and inability to plan ahead well is just something I have to take along with all of the many wonderful things about him.

There were so many tears shed yesterday, and to be honest, I feel guilty for every single one of them.  I know that they were understandable and I was sad and that it's okay to cry.  But I so often feel guilty for what it is that I'm feeling sad about...it's rarely a tragedy or anything major in the grand scheme of life.  But it makes me sad and I cry and I feel guilty because it's not major and then I just feel worse about everything because I shouldn't feel so sad and it becomes a vicious circle.  I had no idea back to school time could be such an emotional time!

UPDATED:  I forgot to mention that after an hour last night spent on the phone with our cell carrier, my husband was yet again able to receive calls.  Strangely enough, texts had never been an issue, although I hadn't wanted to try to send one after I realized there was a problem.  So all is well in that part of life again!  Oh, and no, they couldn't tell him what the problem had been.

Third year in a row

You might remember last year, when we had a little mishap the first day of school.  The year before that, HT also had a trip to urgent care that in spite of an initial diagnosis of "sprain" was actually a broken thumb.  This year, for the third year in a row, we've had a child in urgent care within 24 hours of school beginning.  Last week, JC had fallen off HT's skateboard.  She mentioned that her foot hurt, but was back outside and running just minutes later.  I really gave it no more thought until Saturday, when she mentioned to us again that it hurt.  At that point we noticed it was a bit swollen, but it had been less than 48 hours so we decided to see what happened.  By last evening, she was talking about how it hurt just standing in the shower.  Because she has a really high pain tolerance, I was concerned that there was something truly seriously wrong that it still hurt four days later.  JC and my husband were off to urgent care again last evening.  Fortunately there is no fracture (assuming they've read the xray correctly!) and they are thinking it has more to do with her tendons or ligaments.  She's not to do gym or any phys ed activities for this week and hopefully she'll be good as new very soon!

I shed a few tears

I must be crazy.  I actually shed a few tears this morning as my kids went off to school.  We all know that I'm sad about the summer ending because I love our carefree summers.  It was a rather blah and overcast morning and that didn't help.  I think though, it had lots to do with JR.  I know that he is in school and has been for two weeks.  I know that he absolutely loves his new school and things are going well...he's happy.  But for some reason, the fact that he wasn't here and part of our first day hit my like a load of bricks and I just got so sad.  I think in part because I can not deny how quickly my kids are growing, and how few "first days" we really have left.  I feel like I don't really have a part of his new school experience, and while I know he's probably old enough to have his own experiences, it still makes me a little sad.

It also didn't help that I went up and helped my dad clean his office at work.  It was really just a "it needs a good cleaning" but the giant elephant in the room was the fact that we were getting things organized for the day that he can no longer work...he didn't want to leave a big mess for everyone else.  I get the reality of it, but it just pretty much stinks.  While I've known the reality of my father's prognosis, I didn't see it.  He was stable and nothing was changing so there was nothing to worry about.  This latest bout though has taken quite a toll.  All we can hope for at this point is a new plateau, and I understand it isn't going to be what the last plateau was.

All in all, it was a pretty emotional day.  The lady for whom I'm doing the long term subbing isn't due for two weeks, and I'm very hopeful she'll at least be able to get through this week.  I'm grateful for a few days of quiet (so I can get a grip on my emotions!) before we add even more craziness to the mix!

Just can't get into it

I feel so very selfish for lamenting the end of the summer.  I am SO GRATEFUL for the wonderful summers that we have.  There truly aren't many families as blessed as ours.  We get to spend our summers making amazing memories together and we have just enough fun money to be able to do these things.  Our summers are so special and carefree.  I know that the kids need to learn and need a routine, and I'm not the person to be able to do it day in and day out.  Today is a rainy day and it pretty much matches my mood.  I'm hopeful we can enjoy some games of dominoes and just hang out since it's out last day of absolutely no plans!!!!

I have to accept it

Since today is September 1, I have to accept it...school is starting soon.  I know that JR and my husband have been at it for weeks (literally), but I was hanging on to the end of summer as much as I could.  I had really grand plans for his past week that of course never materialized but I think overall we had a good week.  I know with absolute certainty that the kids are ready to go back, but I truly don't like the thought of not spending all day with them.  Of course, if I had written yesterday I would be singing a different tune as they were absolutely driving me crazy.  I'm looking forward to fall, and of course I'm loving the return of football, but I'm just not ready for the craziness of the school schedule.  I'm really confident though, that everyone is going to have a great year!

Going back in time

We have yet another full week where it is only JC, HT, and myself at home.  Because we had a rather full day yesterday and there are some things I need to get accomplished here at the house, we are having a fairly laid back afternoon...my favorite!  And the kids are enjoying the rare day of being allowed to watch TV pretty much as they want.  It's a rainy day, and some times we all need to have days like this.  Anyway, I love hearing that my kids have been watching a little of Mickey Mouse and Dora.  It's been a very long time since those have been shows of choice in our home, and I am so enjoying hearing the kids laugh and enjoy them again, even if it's only for a short time.

Perfect rhythm

I have learned my perfect sleeping pattern this summer.  Bed by Midnight, and then sleep until 9 or 9:30.  That's right, I need nine hours of sleep at exactly those times!  Honestly, it's been absolutely wonderful!  People used to joke that I needed more sleep than everyone else and this summer seems to have proven it.  My husband thinks it's because I'm such a light sleeper and not getting "deep" sllep and that's why I need more sleep than most people.  Anyway, without being on a "schedule" this summer, those are the standards for my sleep and it's been perfect.  I'm not tired during the day, I haven't felt any desire to take a nap, and I've just really felt great!

Of course, I think we all acknowledge the problem here.  This is great during the summer when there may be a day here or there where I can't sleep like this.  However, school starts at 8:50, so even on days when I don't have to work, I can't sleep until 9:00.  And yes, I've tried many times over the years to go to bed at 10:00 and sleep until 7:00, but it just doesn't have the same effect on me.  So, it is what it is, and I've enjoyed it while it lasted.  Now though, we are starting our transition to school time again.  So much for feeling great!

Our week without JR

JR was gone all week, and yet somehow, I survived.  I don't like being without one or more of my children, and it was evident by my schedule on Monday and Tuesday where we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off so I didn't notice he wasn't home with us.  At the same time, he absolutely LOVES his new school, and the freedom that goes with it, and the younger two LOVED their hours upon hours of DS playing in the van.

While I'm happy that JR is enjoying his new school, I do have some concerns.  I understand that he is about to turn 13 and that there are certain freedoms he should be granted.  I recognize that my husband and I have taught him well, and this is part of life.  And yet, UGH!  I know that my husband is not keeping an eye on him like I would keep an eye on him.  This is not a criticism of my husband, this is simply a fact in the differences between moms & dads.  I don't know that I've ever prayed more than I have this week!

And the younger two have grown ever closer, if that is even possible.  They've enjoyed lunch out, bowling, baking cookies, and I think the best for them...no fighting over the TV or what movie to watch.  These two never seem to disagree about anything, and with JR at school all day they are pretty sure they are in heaven without having to hear what he wants!

Yesterday was an especially long day as JR and my husband left for school at 6AM, and JR wanted to stay for the football game so they didn't get home until nearly 11:00 last night.  This has been a full week of JR getting up at 5:30 every day, the first time in his life that he's done so.  And that would explain why he is still in bed now at 11AM.  Ah yes, the teenage years are upon us!

Dad is home

I forgot to mention this yesterday, but Dad came home late Tuesday.  According to Mom he pretty much slept the day away, which is honestly the best thing he could've done.  His spirits are pretty low, but we are hoping the comfort of his own home, and the ability to sleep, will do wonders.  It's going to take him a while to bounce back, and I know that bothers him, but I also know he's quite a fighter!

A day to just hang out

Today was a much needed day to just hang out and relax at home.  The youngest two and I had been running errands and being "on the go" almost non-stop since Monday morning.  As I said to my husband last evening, "If this is our new routine, it's going to be very expensive!"  I've had to make trips to my husband's district for the last two evenings, which of course if a 45 minute drive.  I knew there would be those days, I just didn't expect them to be so quick to happen!  Last night was open house at his school and it was very nice to be able to see how things work, and to realize that he really, truly, is in good hands.  Today though, there is absolutely nothing on our calendar, and the kids and I are enjoying a more laid back and relaxed day.

A successful first day

I'm happy to report that JR's first day of school went very well.  He commented on the very small class sizes...he reported their were 15 - 20 students in each class as opposed to the 30 he had here in our home district.  He was successful in getting on the correct bus each was (he is picked up and returned to the high school so my husband doesn't have to make a trip to get him) and overall he seems to have really enjoyed his day.  I'm so looking forward to seeing how this year goes!

The beginning of a new era

My wonderful husband and JR have just left to begin their new school year.  In some ways I think nothing of the change that JR is making because he's so sure and confident about it, and yet there is a part of me, the parental part, that wants me to scream after them, "No, leave him here!"  The change to the middle school environment is such a big change anyway, without adding the change in district as well.  But, I've known this day was coming, although in some ways I guess I thought it wouldn't really ever get here.  I'm sure my parents felt that way about many milestones in my life, and I'm sure it seems to them that I blew past them, just as my kids are flying by in their lives.  Oh, it goes so fast!  Because my husband has a meeting this evening, I have to go pick him up, and we are all going to go out to dinner to celebrate his first day.  I'm anxious to hear about his first day, and I'm looking forward to the car ride home to hear what he has to say...if he can stay awake!

Speaking of staying awake, I'm really torn between enjoying the peace and quiet and being productive, and going back to bed for a couple of hours.  I'm pretty sure I know how this is going to end up though, with me not being a morning person and all!

Update on Dad

Dad is still in the hospital, and probably will be until early this coming week.  I was able to make it up last evening and see him.  He's VERY tired, and VERY weak, but overall he's doing better each day.  I know that all of us have our concerns, as there has never been a hospitalization last this long before.  However, pneumonia is very dangerous even to a healthy person, and he is NOT.  I thought last evening though, that he was in good spirits and we both enjoyed the visit.  He also enjoyed the get well cards and pictures that the kids sent.  Afterwards, my mom and I had dinner and chatted, which we hadn't done by ourselves in forever.

While I was up north, my husband and kids were boating with a good friend and his children.  They had another amazing time on the water and my husband enjoyed getting to visit and hang out.  So grateful for the support of so many friends!

The end of our summer

Tomorrow JR begins the school year as a seventh grader in his new school.  Strangely enough, I'm not terribly nervous for him, and I think that is in part to the fact that he seems so calm about everything.  I also know that no matter what happens, I really can't see it being worse than last year.  My mother-in-law is so concerned that he isn't going to fit in and won't have any friends quickly, but I just kept telling her it can't be worse than last year.  She doesn't seem to understand that, but our friends and family here completely understand what I'm saying.  JR is very excited about the new beginning, and I share his enthusiasm!  It does feel a little weird to be on two different school schedules, because the other two don't begin until after Labor Day.  The one thing JR is NOT excited about is that he has to wake up every day at 5:30.  I suspect he'll be very tired by the end of next week!

Something else he is very excited about is that he now has his own cell phone!  He'd been begging for one and was practically giddy yesterday when we gave him his early birthday present.  I think his favorite feature is that he can text with it.  He was texting both myself and my aunt yesterday.  We've explained that while we certainly know that he is going to have fun with it, we have chosen to given it to him mostly for our convenience and that we expect him to handle the responsibility that goes with having it.  We did also block the internet, which also disables the ability to send and receive pictures.  We've also explained that at 9:00 during the week it gets turned off, and it will spend the night with our other cell phones in the family in our key basket.  We might be the meanest parents ever, but I just don't care!

A glimpse into my future

I knew when we decided that JR was going to be going to school 45 minutes away from home that it was going to mean more time in the car.  Even though my husband will be able to take him to and from school most days, there will be times when I'll need to make the trip over for whatever reason.  Yesterday was a glimpse into the fact that some days are going to be challenging, and I'm afraid there is more fast food in our future!

JR had orientation at 6:30 yesterday.  Because it was predominantly for sixth graders, most of his teachers would not be there.  It was decided that he and my husband would attend, and then we would all go on Tuesday for open house so I would have the opportunity to meet his teachers.  That is VERY IMPORTANT to me!  It also worked out for me to not attend last night because JC and HT had karate at 6:00.  There was no way that I could drop them off and then have JR to my husband by 6:30, so it was decided that it would have to be before hand.  That meant in order to be back to get the others to karate, I had to drop him off by 5:00  I had forgotten that yesterday was move in day for the university in the town where my husband teaches, so it's a very good thing I had planned some extra time.  Of course, in order to make sure that I was there by 5, we had to leave shortly after 4.  If I wanted to feed them before we left, that would mean eating at 3:30, and that just didn't seem reasonable.  It wasn't really a problem for my husband and JR as they would have plenty of time to kill between 5 and 6:30 in order to eat, but what about the younger two?  I decided my only option was to swing through McDonald's when I dropped off JR, because waiting until they got home at 8:00 didn't seem to be an option either.  It gave them the opportunity to eat in the car and have something in their stomachs.  I'll be honest, since recently they've both been experiencing car sickness on the drive back and forth from my husband's work, I was a little concerned about putting THAT into their stomach, but it all worked out fine.  We dashed into karate right at 6:00 and I'd had the foresight to bring the uniforms along so we hadn't had to go home first.  They just needed to change and then they could get started.  I got home about 6:20 from it all, and I realized that there are definitely going to be some more evenings like this in my future.  Let's hope gas prices start going down!

Our last day of summer fun

Today is the last day that we are all home as a family.  I don't feel as sad about it as I did last year, but I think that is because we have until Monday when JR starts and then the others have another two weeks.  I'm sure I'll be dreading it by then...the deadlines and the craziness and all the chaos will resume.

But in the meantime, we chose to spend the day together doing something fun.  JR had been wanting to bowl all summer, and we thought that would be a good way to wrap up the family fun.  And we did really enjoy it, although I'm embarrassed to admit that even though we were ALL (yes, adults included) using the bumpers none of us managed to bowl 100 in our first game.  Everyone's score did manage to improve in the second game though, so that was a good thing (although even then only my husband was over 100)!

Unfortunately, there has also been a downside to our day.  As I was reading the newspaper just before lunch I noticed that the husband of my grandmother's cousin had passed away and that the visitation was this evening.  It was being held not terribly far from me, and it was going to be about a 30 minute for my relatives, but I knew that my grandmother would want to be there if she could.  I called my mom and she didn't answer at home so I left a message.  Then I did something I almost never do...I decided to call her on her cell.  The reason I rarely do this is because she seldom answers it.  Today though, she did answer, and after I informed her of the reason for my call I asked if she had been aware.  She stated that she was not, and that she would not be able to bring my grandmother down because she was in the emergency room with my father and he was being admitted.  This was all a lot of information to absorb in such a short period of time!  It turns out that Dad has pneumonia and a rapid heart rate and they aren't exactly sure if the two are related.  Mom called later and said that she didn't feel it was dire and that she herself was mostly going to be home and let him rest.  So right now I'm just praying that he is where he needs to be and that he can heal and recover as quickly as possible!  I was also able to attend the visitation services this evening, and it was nice to be able to see so much family, even if under such unpleasant circumstances.

All in all, it was a fairly eventful way to end our summer!

A heck of a day

Today has been a heck of a day, but for the most part, it's all good.  We were greeted by news this morning that the superintendent of our schools had resigned or been fired.  By this afternoon it SEEMED to have been confirmed by a school board member that she had indeed resigned, but after this evening's community meeting that doesn't exactly seem to be the case.  As I've mentioned before, there has been so much ugliness in our schools this year, and no longer having this superintendent is a HUGE step forward in moving in a positive direction.  Of course, everything has become ugly again and it's so upsetting.  We still have three weeks until school starts, and it just seems as though we will be starting with so much unpleasantness.  Ultimately though, as long as it does work out that she is gone, I think it's a good thing.

This evening, we also learned very good news.  I'd written before about one of JR's former soccer coaches who had been diagnosed with cancer.  He was diagnosed last winter, and was told he had until June.  If he decided to try treatments, he might be able to see August.  However, we've just learned today that the current scans show no cancer.  Our prayers have been answered...I can think of no other word that describes this other than "miracle".  The man had been diagnosed with stage 4, and yet there was no sign of the cancer on these scans.  We are so very, very grateful!

Our evening has ended with learning that JR has made EXTREMELY poor decisions regarding certain things.  I am so sad and disappointed, and at this point wondering how I can trust him again anytime soon.  It was not exactly the way I wanted to end the day.

My wonderful husband only has two more days at home until he goes back on Thursday, and JR will begin next Monday.  I no longer feel like the summer flies by because I know this is just how it is.  And I'm sure this school year will have many new adventures!

Today's chuckle

The kids are watching the final day of the Olympics, and currently there is synchronized rhythmic gymnastics on.  I heard JC say, "wow."  I asked her if it was impressive.  HT answered, "yes."  JC answered, "No, it's Russia."

Beautiful weather and even more beautiful sounds

We've had the most incredibly beautiful weather here.  It was an AWFUL drive home from my in-laws yesterday (I'll post about our week another time), but I knew in the long run it would be worth it.  There was a cold front coming through, and let me assure you...the weather has been beyond gorgeous.  I ABSOLUTELY love it!  Our a/c is getting a much needed rest, and all the windows have been thrown open.

And even more wonderful are the sounds coming from outside.  All the kids (and the big one...my husband) have been outside for the last hour.  I love hearing the shouts of joy and laughter (and even the shouts of frustration) that are coming from the outdoors.  I feel so lucky to be have this life!

Olympic viewing

Our family has loved watching every minute of the Olympic games.  The only problem is that we had to sometimes choose between watching the Reds play and watching the Olympics.  I've loved not only watching the Olympics, but watching the kids watch the Olympics.  They were actually really looking forward to it this year, and I don't think they've been disappointed.  And they understand that we always root for USA!

Olympic viewing has also made me a little emotional...it's kind of ridiculous!  But when they show a parent who is watching their child, I can't help but tear up.  It's really getting to me this year.  For some reason the athletes themselves can be bawling and I'm okay, but show me a parent who is either proud and in tears, or devastated and in tears, and I'm crying right along with them!  Overall though, we've thoroughly enjoyed our two weeks of Olympics (and it doesn't hurt that the Americans win A LOT)!

A new opportunity

I've accepted an assignment to be a long term substitute for a first grade classroom this fall.  It's only going to be about eight weeks, but I'm so excited about it...and of course very nervous too!  The teacher is due the middle of September so she should be able to begin the year, and I'm really hoping that's how it works out.  I will then be able to sub for her entire maternity leave, which should take us through Thanksgiving or shortly after.  The timing is ideal for me to be a long term sub in a kindergarten classroom after the first of the year, and I might even get to be off for December, so it's perfect timing!

While I'm nervous about the classroom end of things, I'm strangely confident about it as well.  I know that it's going to be very different then just a day here and then somewhere new the next day.  I'm now going to be responsible for grading and planning, and of course dealing with the parents which is honestly the thing I'm the least excited about.  But more than all of that, I'm nervous about how this is going to affect our family here at home.  I've never worked this much as a parent, and although the kids are older and more able to help, I don't want to become a complete monster who no one wants to be around because I'm so stressed.  At the same time, I know that we'll have some extra fun money, which might come in especially handy since everyone has the same spring break this year...I'm already thinking someplace warm!

Weekend at Norris Lake

We returned today from our wonderful weekend visiting our cousins.  I'll be honest, I wasn't exactly overly looking forward to the weekend.  After all, being allergic to the sun and unable to swim are not the best combination for a weekend of boating.  But ultimately, I'm SO glad that we went.  It was actually a rather overcast weekend, and I had packed lots of breathable shirts and pants to cover my skin.  My kids got to do so many amazing things.  They got to go tubing and kneeboarding.  They got to each have a turn driving the boat, and they each had an opportunity to climb up a rock and jump off.  Please understand, all of these things were all agreed upon but all four adults, or they weren't allowed to happen.  My kids got to do so much swimming in the lake and each day brought a new experience.  HT in particular smiled almost the entire time he was in the water until he got out.  JC was especially determined, and my cousin Sue commented on how she is one determined young lady.  And JR loved the fact that he was allowed to help do jobs on the boat and could be trusted with additional responsibilities because of his age.  My cousin's grandchildren are now ages 17 - 25, and they delighted in having younger kids around again...especially kids who were delighted with each new adventure.  We are so grateful and blessed to be able to have these experiences.

And now, it's time to unpack, do some laundry, and repack before we head east for a couple of days!

Can you hear me now?

Today was not our best day ever as a family.  I had a lot to do in order to get ready for our trip to Tennessee tomorrow.  I acknowledge that the bulk of packing for trips falls to me.  I also acknowledge that my children could probably help more than I give them credit, but that I am a control freak, and I need to know that we are as prepared as we can possibly be for a trip.  So basically, I'm stressed.  Yesterday we spent the day going through the boys fall/winter clothes to determine what they are going to need for the year since we are going to visit my in-laws next week and there is no sales tax on clothing there (we had gone through JC's last week).  Today, the children spent most of the day glued to the TV because I was focused on laundry and packing.  About 5:00 I announced that unless they were watching the Olympics, they were done watching TV for the day.  I also informed them (rather loudly, in my opinion) that there were specific chores in the bedrooms (specifically the mountains of clothes we'd gone through) that I had asked them to do that hadn't been completed.  I was not at all pleased, I'll admit.  I reminded everyone that in order to keep me from being irritated and upset, directions needed to be followed.  I then left for about an hour and a half to the grocery.  I had asked my husband to be sure that everyone took baths and showers while I was gone because it was after 6:30 before I left, and I was responsible for bringing dinner home from the grocery.  I was pretty sure it was going to be 8:30 until we ate dinner and I didn't want the kids up any later than necessary since we are going to have some very long (albeit fun!) days ahead.  I called as I was leaving the grocery about 7:45 to find out where we were in the bathing process.  Not overly thrilled to find out it hadn't even been started.  I got home to find my children parked in front of the television watching cartoons, which last time I checked was NOT an Olympic sport.  I then go upstairs to find that in spite of my rather loud reminders before I left, nothing had been accomplished in the bedrooms.  I calmly (and I'm actually not being sarcastic here...by this point I was really too tired and drained to be upset) explained that I was very disappointed and felt very disrespected that they STILL hadn't listened to my directions.  And then, because I was so tired and drained, my tears began to flow.  That would be when my husband got involved and was not at all pleased at our children's behaviors.  I kept asking if I had been talking too quietly during the day...could they  not hear the directions about no more TV and about cleaning their rooms?  Finally I asked, in my best Verizon imitation, "Can you hear me now?"  We all started laughing and it helped to end the evening on a lighter note.  I know that they are kids and that I should be the adult and not get angry.  And at the same time, I hope that I was able to stress to them the importance of hard work, and along with that showing respect for loved ones.  I'm still drained and exhausted, but not a day goes by when I don't feel lucky to be their mother!

What else is happening

In addition to my twentieth class reunion, we've also been living our lives.  JR returned home from scout camp Saturday morning and clearly it was one of the best times of his life!  He is such an incredibly independent kid, and while apparently there were a lot of emotions from others regarding homesickness, he spent most of the time being puzzled by those who were homesick...who wouldn't love being on their own for a week?  Of course, I also suspect that in this day and age there might be a few parents who might play into the homesickness by talking about how much they'll miss their "baby".  And I also suspect that many of the boys have less responsibility at home...and many, many more electronics.  JR didn't have the ability to miss his computer and cell phone and video games, etc., etc., because he doesn't have those at home.  He does however, have chores, responsibilities, and school work (yep, even in the summer I make sure we are academic!) and he probably loved being away from all of that for a week!  He had signed up for five merit badges but was actually able to complete eight...I'm impressed!

My husband moves into his new high school this fall, and we have also spent some days helping him put his new room together.  I must say, this high school is absolutely top of the line...some might even say "over the top"!  The kids and I have been helping to unpack and shelves books upon books, and we've also been helping to arrange and decorate the rest of the room.  We've put in a couple of days so far, but at this point the things that are left pretty much have to be finished by him.

We are heading out this weekend to visit my cousins who have a lake house in Tennessee, then we'll be home for a day before we head back out to visit my in-laws.  I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have, but I know that we'll all be having loads and loads of fun!

Twenty years

This past weekend was my high school reunion.  Hard to believe, astounding in fact, that it's been twenty years!  Even more amazing to me is the fact that I vividly remember the evening of my dad's twentieth high school reunion.  I had just graduated from high school myself, so it seems IMPOSSIBLE to me that mine could be happening.  Anyway, there were two events planned.  The first was a Friday evening at the local bar in our home town.  Initially I thought I would attend, but the more I thought about it, the less enthused I was.  First of all, we had other things planned for the evening, and I've never particularly been a bar person.  On top of that, while I loved high school and to this day have lots of friends from my high school days, almost none of them were in my class.  Most of them were older, and a couple were a year or two younger.  I also was aware that of the few people I would really like to see, only one was going and that person I had lunch with six months ago.  So my motivation was pretty low.  I decided against doing the Friday night event, and instead settled on attending Saturday evening which was to be a smaller (and quieter), more intimate evening.  There were only 19 of us classmates in attendance, and as I had suspected, I hadn't spent a great deal of time with any of them in high school.  There was one classmate there Saturday evening named Lisa, and she saved the evening for me!  While Lisa and I had not spent a great deal of time together later in high school, our sophomore and junior years we had definitely hung out together so it was nice to be able to sit with her and visit.  I'm glad that I went, and it was nice to see everyone after twenty years...even if I can't believe it's been that long!

HTisms

My youngest, and his perspective on life often amuses me.  I think in part that is because he has such a happy-go-lucky personality and always has.  Monday evening, we decided to take the kids to Tumbleweeds Restaurant.  We had a coupon for free kids' meals, and since JR is at scout camp, we would only have to pay for my husband and me.  HT, however, was insistent that he didn't want to go.  Of course we went anyway, and of course he enjoyed every minute of his cheeseburger and seasoned waffles fries.  I asked him later why he hadn't wanted to go and he replied, "I didn't want to eat weeds for dinner."  I share his opinion on that, and was rather amused that he actually thought we would try to feed him weeds for dinner!

Next week we are headed to Norris Lake in Tennessee for a long weekend.  Some relatives have a place on the lake and have invited us down for a few days.  The kids knew we were going to Tennessee, but didn't necessarily know the name of the lake.  JC asked yesterday about the name of the lake.  I replied, "Norris Lake."  HT giggled and pointed out that if you take off the "lake" and add "Chuck" in front then you have "Chuck Norris."  He was quite pleased with his discovery.  He then mentioned (and I'm sure he's heard this joke from a friend who LOVES to tell Chuck Norris jokes from the internet) that there had been talk about adding Chuck Norris to Mount Rushmore and changing the name to "Mount Toughmore."  He then chuckled quite heartily at his own "funny".

I love seeing what these kids come up with everyday!

House Hunting

On Sunday we loaded up the two kids (JR is at scout camp) and decided to head over the town in which my husband teaches to do some open housing.  We really have no desire to move, but it may eventually be ridiculous to live here if my husband and children are all spending their days 45 minutes from here.  We decided to start with open houses to see what our budget could afford.  And it was pretty much what I expected...we can afford to pitch a tent in someone's yard.  Houses are just so much more expensive there than they are in our little town, and even factoring in the gas we would save with not having to make the commute, it's not affordable.  I realize though, that we may decide that affordable or not, we need to move because of the time we are spending on the road.  When that day comes, we'll just have to learn to do without other things, and I suppose that with the increase in the size of the town it might be more likely that I could find a part time job.  In the meantime, I'm very happy to stay put in my house!

16 years

It was 16 years ago today, on Tuesday July 23, 1996 that my dad first became ill.  I remember my mother and sister were in Atlanta at the Olympics and I was working at a summer day camp.  I was surprised to find him at home when I got home from work late that afternoon.  He explained that he'd been having trouble breathing and his boss's wife had insisted that he see a doctor.  The initial diagnosis was pneumonia and we expected him to be off work for a few days.  We had no idea the road about to be traveled.  Dad ended up missing seven weeks of work, and it took over a month to get an accurate diagnosis of Bronchiolitis Obliterans Organizing Pneumonia (BOOP).  This disease has a few different manifestations, and unfortunately my father has had one of the worst.  He went on oxygen as needed about ten years ago, and it wasn't long before he was on oxygen 24/7.  In fact, he is now usually hooked up to a machine AND a tank, or to two tanks if he needs to be mobile.  He amazes me though.  I've heard people talk about sick relatives who never complain and what an inspiration that is.  I completely understand that.  I remember feeling guilty taking off work for a bad cold or for a bad allergy/sinus day because my father faced so much more than that EVERY DAY and still goes to work...rarely taking a sick day even when he probably should.  I can't even begin to imagine facing the things he's face and feeling the way he's felt for the last 16 years, and doing it so unbelievably gracefully.  And he'd probably even tell you that he's grateful for the last 16 years...in that time he's been able to see my sister graduate from Notre Dame's Law School, he's been able to see me get married, and he's been able to become a grandfather.  I too, am grateful for the last 16 years.  I know that it isn't the way my dad had pictured these years being, but he has, without a doubt, made the most of it.

**As an aside, I am only four years away from being the age my father was when he was diagnosed.  It really helps to put it into a different perspective for me, and honestly, helps me to be even more amazed by the way my dad has handled things.

Silence

I feel like I've been a little silent here on the blog lately.  I guess that's because my head has been the exact opposite.  There are a hundred little things floating around up there, and sometimes I think I can hear and feel them darting around!  Honestly, my brain feels scattered and unorganized, and I just really don't want that to come out here.  Most of it has to do with absolutely nothing major (at least yet) and since I'm a worrier I worry about it staying that way.  Honestly, I wish I could just go with the flow and let things just be what they will be.  That is why my husband is so perfect for me...he never worries about anything, which is fine because I worry enough for both of us.  As I said though, it's really no big deal and before anyone becomes alarmed the kids are fine!

Another reason I haven't written is that July has just been the most wonderfully unscheduled month, and I love how laid back it's been...but nothing "noteworthy" makes for silence on the blog.

Fun with the kids

I don't really feel as though we've been doing anything terribly exciting or noteworthy, and certainly nothing that would be worth writing about here.  But, we are having fun with our kids, and I hope they feel the same way.  July has been a very, very laid back month.  There have been lots and lots of late nights, lots of sleeping in, and lots of just "hanging out".  We went to bargain day at our local second run theater, and for less than $16 we all got to see MIB3 AND had popcorn.  Not bad for a family of 5!  We've been playing a lot of board games, and for the most part just enjoying our lives together.  It's even cool enough today that we could turn off the a/c last night and are enjoying the most gorgeous weather we've had in forever.  While we may not be doing anything terribly exciting, I couldn't be happier!

It rained!

It's pretty sad that rain can warrant a blog post, but that's the case here.  We got a very decent amount of rain, and since the temp dropped drastically, (but the humidity, oy vey!) the rain actually has an opportunity to soak in.  We might even get more tomorrow!

The drought

Our area is one of many areas that are in a drought.  After how much rain we received last year it almost doesn't seem possible, but that was last year and this is this year, and we've had very little rain.  In fact, until Sunday we'd had one day of rain in the last month.  And to make matters worse, both Sunday's rain and the previous rain the last month were downpours.  The problem with that of course is that the ground is so dry that it can't really absorb rain during a downpour, and most of it just runs off.  And then our weather is so unbelievably hot following the rain that most of it evaporates.  Our crops are in DIRE shape, and based on what we saw in Indiana this is true of most of the mid-west.  I remember 1988 when we last had a summer like this.  We could use some rain, but there just doesn't seem to be anything developing.  We are fortunate though that the water tables for communities are still in rather good shape, and hopefully it will rain sooner rather than later!