I miss it more than I thought I would

Thomas had his second band rehearsal this evening.  The director has them broken up into three different groups, and each group practices twice a week.  I'll be honest, it's kind of nice not to have the major commitment that band usually brings into our lives each year, and because of restrictions, I can't be there at all.  Honestly though, as I drove up this evening to pick up Thomas, my heart ached a bit.  While I don't miss the major commitment, I do regret that I can't be there at all.  I so much miss the kids that I know, and I regret not getting to know the new students.  It really drove home how much I'm going to miss being at the school this year if the year is mostly remote.  And if that is the case, I'm most likely going to ultimately end up with a job that has me leave subbing all together by next spring.  It makes my heart hurt, but I'll be okay.