Thursday, July 23, 2020

Thoughts racing through my head

I am going to share the thoughts that race through my head on a daily (and sometimes hourly) basis.  I KNOW that I am not the only one feeling this way about things...

me:  I can't say that I've missed band camp this week.
also me:  I miss the kids, and I regret that Thomas, who loves band dearly, isn't going to get to have much of a season.

me:  I'm not sad that we didn't have to deal with swim championships or twice daily swim practice commitments.
also me:  I regret that the kids didn't really get to have a swim season, or that Catherine missed her last opportunity for swim.

me:  I am looking forward to being back at school in a month.
also me:  What is that going to look like?  Is it safe?  Is it even a good idea?

me:  I can accept the fact that it might be best to begin the year learning remotely.
also me:  I will lose my income, and Andrew will lose a significant supplemental.  Thomas struggles with learning in that environment.

me:  I just want us all to hunker down and isolate ourselves to be safe.
also me:  Being isolated isn't mentally and emotionally healthy for us.

me:  I am so grateful our family has had this extra time and we've been able to go through this together.
also me:  I hate that my kids have missed out on so much, and I feel so awful for my 89-year-old grandmother who has spent so much time alone these last few months.

This is the kind of up & down, back & forth thoughts and emotions I've been having.  I know this is perfectly normal right now. I know many others are experiencing all of this, and I know that we will all get through this.  But I'll be honest, it's tough right now.

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